My shirt stays on!

Gazza123, I strongly feel that you have body image issues that are much worse than could possibly be justified by your actual appearance. Everyone does have insecurities about their bodies, but based on the number of threads you have created about various aspects of your appearance, I think yours are unusually severe for some reason.

Take a look at my post in another thread,Is it always better? In it, I talk about how to deal with having negative thoughts and feelings about yourself, including body image issues.

 

I always swim with my shirt on unless I'm alone. Currently my weight is a sore subject anyway, since I'm at my heaviest as I type this, so naturally I've got issues with body image. I just don't like the way my torso looks, so I cover it up.

Plus whaling is illegal now, so I'd hate for a bunch of GreenPeace folks to try and push me back into the ocean thinking I needed help or something.

 

Something else I wanted to point out--just like hiding your sexuality makes you feel worse about it, hiding your body also makes you feel worse about it. You might find that if take your shirt off once in a while, you stop feeling so much shame about it.

 

Ianthe's post that she linked too is very well thought out, so I also think you should read it.

"Shirtless and awkward..." Just the way you worded that made me want to point out that I don't think it's your body that's awkward. You may act awkwardly due to your self consciousness about it, but that's internal, not external. And with a little effort, your feelings about your body are something in your power to change.

 

What Happened When I Took My Shirt Off | Thought Catalog

Stop caring what people think. They most likely don't care. You won't ever be happy unless you stop caring what other people think. We're a judgmental society and we need to learn to give them the finger by doing what we want to do. If you want to go to the beach and take your shirt off, do it. If you want to go to the beach and leave your shirt on, do it. But make sure it's your choice, not anyone else's.

 

Now I want to see you with out a shirt on.

 

I don't take my shirt off either. I'm a pretty average weight too, but I have stretchmarks, which makes me really self-conscious. I get a little worried that I won't be able to take my shift off in the bedroom if I meet someone...

 

I never had problem taking my shirt off at the pool, mainly because I always cared more about getting in the water.

It is like working out at the gym. You never pay attention or care what other people are doing, and just do what you came there to do. I don't care what weight other people are lifting, and just lift what challanges me, but I can control. Some people like to think it is a competition, but it isnt, nor should it be.

When you are at the pool or the beach, you are not in competition with anyone else. If your tearing yourself down over how you percieve yourself looking with your shirt off, than you are the only one defeating yourself.

I have spent most of my life really skinny, really tall, with narrow shoulders, and the ribcage of someone with wider shoulders, so I have always looked kinda weird, because I have a weird upper body shape. Life became happier when I just stopped caring what other people thought about it.

You just have to not give a crap what others think.

 

I think we work ourselves up into thinking people will notice these things. I have a large mole in the middle of my upper back (though it has slowly been getting smaller since my immune system has started fighting about 2/3rds of the moles on my body), but I have never noticed people looking at it, or heard people comment on it.

Everybody has things they dont like about their body, but we should not let those things control us, or stop up from living fully.

 

I disagree with this. I feel like if you don't want to take your shirt off, that's your business and it's your prerogative not to show your body if you don't want to; that's why it's called your body.

This issue can apply to girls, too. Take me, for example; I prefer to wear one-piece bathing suits, or a two-piece with shorts. It's not because I have issues with my body (granted, there are quite a few things that I don't particularly like about it, but I'm working on them), it's just because I don't like showing my body off.

You might have appearance issues, but you shouldn't draw that conclusion just because you don't want people to see you with your shirt off.

 

I can't really add much to what's already been said. You've been given some great advice/tips to feeling less insecure about your body image whether or not you asked for them. I guess I'm posting to just let you know that I have the same issue. I hate taking my shirt off in public or around family or friends, though I really have no reason to be so insecure. Like you, I'm not overweight or extremely thin, and I'm sure no one honestly cares what I look like. At the same time, it's difficult to get over it. My advice: don't think, just do it.

 

My suggestion that he has a particularly severe issue with body image was based not only on this thread, but on the thread about tattoos, the one about good looks vs. personality, at least two about phimosis (because he was worried about the appearance of his penis), and his repeated declaration in other threads of his belief that he is so unattractive that no one will ever want to date him. And maybe some others that I'm not remembering off the top of my head.

He has very clearly been preoccupied recently with insecurities about his appearance.

But, Gazza123, as I have stated before, whatever you look like, someone is going to think you're hot.

 

I hate to be cynical, but gazza, you seem to be spending most of your time making excuses, instead of trying to find a solution. There is no magic pill that will make you feel less insecure... you have to be willing to step up and put the work in on fixing the issues you are having with body image.

I was teased mercilessly for the fact that I was a tall, gangly kid with a speech impediment. I came to a point where I realized that I define who I am, not others.

As long as you define yourself in negative ways, you will never succed in fostering confidence in yourself.

I am not trying to demean you, but you really need to stop demeening yourself, because as long as you give in to the habit of putting yourself down, you will get absolutely nowhere.

No one can do the work for you.

I am hardly a male model, but I just got sick of being defined by other people, so I took over, and it is all up to me to feel good about myself, and change the things I can. I also have to work on accept the things I cannot or should not change.

You are the only one who can defeat you on this.

 

I had that problem from the time I was 13 until about this time last year. Honestly, I don't think my body looks bad compared to anyone else's, so for me it wasn't about what other people thought so much as what I thought of myself.

It's just one of those things you have to get used to. Take off your shirt in public enough times and you'll get used to it. It's a lot like coming out, actually. This past year, especially recently, I've worked on my body to where I'd be happy with it, and though I'm still not to where I'd want to be, it's helped tremendously.

 

I can agree with that,I used to have the same problem and still kinda do but not as bad.Like last year i was having heartburns and stuff so I decided that I needed to get healthy because I was chubby so since then I just jog during the week(which helps me think alot aswell) and do situps and pushups,thats all.And now I feel much better and am not afraid to take off my shirt in public...kinda lol.Hpoing by the end of the year ill will be leaner,thats my resolution