Polygamy: What's your opinion?

My opinion is that I don't care. If people have open relationships or committed relationships with multiple partners, it's not for me to judge them. So long as all the parties are aware of each other and its consensual, I don't care.

Myself, I can only see myself with a single person. I'm very monogamous, but I personally can understand how it might not be for everyone.

 

If everyone is consenting and has full freedom to divorce if unhappy and such than I support their lifestyle. I think their are many ways to live, why should we prosecute someone for a different way of life, you know? Also, I think some families that use polygamy are influenced by the culture of their area - like certain parts of the middle east - so i don't think its necessarily bad, just unique. Of course, i'd say polygyny (women with multiple husbands) is fair game as well.

 

This is my opinion as well.

However there are some benefits that come with marriage in most countries (taxes and the like), and having more than person in that marriage would lead to an unfair 'advantage' to those involved. Some changes would have to be made before multiple legal spouses were allowed.

I don't think it would be a bad idea for the state to not recognise any marriage or union at all. Then everyone could go and do whatever they liked without stepping on anyone else's toes.

Polygyny is 1 man, many women ('poly' being many and 'gyny' being woman).
Polyandry is 1 woman, many men.
Polygamy just means many partners.

 

If it's fully consensual, I don't care who has a relationship with who. It won't affect me in any way and who am I to stop people from being happy?
I could probably never be in one myself, at least I cannot imagine being in love/strongly attracted to multiple persons at the same time.

---------- Post added 16th Jun 2012 at 11:11 AM ----------

This indeed.

While I agree with this sentiment, that would still leave problems like visitation rights. If the state does not recognise your marriage, you're not family.

 

Now that I think about it, yeah, I'd be fine with polygamous marriages. If everyone involved consents to it, then let them go right ahead. But I personally, like you guys, want to be in a monogamous relationship. I suppose I can understand loving multiple people, but I feel if I personally tried, I'd end up favoring one over another. So yeah, I'm fine with just finding that one special guy :icon_wink

 

Yeah, there would have to be new methods set up to handle things like that - perhaps co-habitation laws or nominated 'caregivers' or something. But there's definitely a better way to do it than what we have currently.

 

I feel very, very strongly that polygamy should be decriminalized. It's wrong to send people to prison for a consensual adult relationship. It's particularly stupid that only the man is usually punished.

I think the issue of whether polygamous marriages should be recognized by the government is more complicated. To extend the recognition of marriage to same-sex couples is fairly straightforward, because it is still an arrangement between two people--everything is more or less analogous. But in marriages with more than two people, completely different laws would have to be made--everything is more complicated when there are more parties involved.

I mean, it would be nearly impossible for the government to officially recognize all possible forms of polyamorous marriage. There are too many different possible arrangements. It would require a lot of new legislation, most of which would serve very few people.

But in the particular case of polygamy as practiced by Fundamentalist LDS people, I think that it is widespread enough of a practice in Utah that it makes sense for the government to recognize it. Most importantly, I think it should be recognized so that second and third and whatever wives have rights in their marriages that are recognized by the government.

I think it would be far less common for young girls and women to be pressured into marriages they don't really want if they could potentially leave and take a hefty portion of the family property with them, and demand alimony payments. As it is now, the additional wives have no rights. In cases where she lives on a compound and maybe isn't as educated, and is sent into marriage as a teenager, leaving her husband would mean becoming a homeless person with nowhere to go and no job skills. Avoiding having women in that situation is the whole reason we have alimony laws.

So, while it would not be possible to recognize all possible configurations of adult relationships, I do think it would make sense to recognize that one, at least in Utah. But not everything would transfer perfectly from monogamous marriages, because some things will not be completely analogous when there is more than two people. And I'm not at all sure how it would work for federal benefits. And I think it could be very easily abused for immigration purposes. As it stands now, you can have only one spouse, so a fake marriage prevents you from having a real one. If you can sponsor someone for immigration through plural marriage, that will not be the case--you'd be able to be married to someone you really love, and simultaneously have a fake marriage to bring someone into the country. I have no idea how often it would actually happen, and I'm not sure it justifies denying people the right to sponsor someone through marriage, but I think it would be another complicated area to address when making legislation.


I do not agree that it would be a good idea for the government to stop recognizing marriages. I think you grossly underestimate how many things that would have a negative impact on. Doing everything by private contract would be insane.

 

Here in the Netherlands it isn't illegal to have polygamous relationships and polygamous marriage from outside the country are recognised.

 

That's definitely better than here--polygamy is illegal in all 50 states. In most, it is a felony.

When they recognize polygamous marriages, how do they determine who gets the rights of next of kin? For example, who makes the medical decisions if someone is incapacitated?

 

I'd like to know this as well. Also, I agree with you wholeheartedly. Lately I've been beginning to dislike the word "marriage" because it's more of a contract with the government rather than an actual bonding of love and kinship between one another, also because due to it being that there's a lot of limiting if that makes sense (i.e. same-sex marriage or polygamous marriage being illegal, and also many forms not being recognized). I think they should just throw all of those away and just start calling it "marriage" like back in the old days.

I support the idea of polygamy to the fullest because it's not my business what goes on in other people's lives. As long as everybody is happy, why not? There's no harm being done, and well, they love each other, want to be together, and want to be happy. So let's let them be happy. ^^

Weird question: Is there a word for a phobia for polygamy, like homophobic for homosexuality? Like maybe polyphobic? :icon_redf

 

Yep, that's one of the obstacles that would have to be resolved to legalise polygamous marriages.

 

Personally I don't think I could ever do it because i'm an insanely jealous person and would feel left out no matter what, but I have absolutely nothing against people who are in a polygamous relationship, at all. If three (or more) people feel like they could make a relationship work then thumbs p to them. It seems harder to me but probably because I tend to pick favorites when it comes to people in general.
Just like gay marriage I don't understand why polygamous is illegal/banned. Doesn't really make any sense to me.

 

I think it would be really uncool of any LGBT person to not accept polygamy. We spend our whole lives wishing and fighting for equality, particularly marriage equality, and it would be of utmost hypocrisy if we didn't extend said equality to others.
Of course there would be obstacles and certain processes that would need consideration but that goes for all relationships.

 

I would be fine with polygamous marraiges, however the legal framework would have to be developed beforehand. Divorces would be tricky.

I would also be fine with incestual marriage and relationships, as long as they weren't parent child.

 

I SUPPORT SAME-SEX MARRIAGE. Polygamy is entirely different. How could you compare the two? urgh... anyway I think it's wrong. There's a saying called "ONE true love" for a reason. its like living multiple lives- It SHOULD be illegal everywhere. I thought it was til i saw they started making that show. Now it just pisses me off. Also, exactly why bisexuals don't have bfs and gfs at the same time. A thing called jealousy. I have it- we all do. and i think every one of his wives does at least a little too. how can they not? I would even go to comparing it to cheating... if you dont like the first one you married, then divorce her. don't go on pretending to love her and then introduce this blasphemy called "polygamy" shit. I wouldn't want to live in a world of lies and false love, would you? sorry if i have offended anyone or seem too opinionated. this is the person i am. I cant change this. POLYGAMY IS WRONG. end of story.

 

While I personally disagree with polygamy, I have no issue with people practicing polygamy. However, I don't think polygamy should be recognised by the state. You've got issues such as taxation, who is the father/mother of certain children, and other things.

Aside from how man penises/vaginas are involved, there is no difference between a heterosexual and homosexual marriage the heterosexual couple chooses to have no children. However, polygamy throws in taxation, mother/father, and a bucketload of other issues.

 

Polygamy doesn't bother me at all. I wouldn't enter into such a relationship because it is not right for me. I'm completely monogamous

I think the legal issues would be quite the headache. At least, in America anyway

 

Although I don't know much about marriage laws, I agree with Ianthe that if the government recognized polygamous marriages, a lot of new legislation would have to be introduced that would serve very few people. I can't see many non-Mormons making the switch to polygamy even if the option was available. I also think there are a lot of ways it could be abused, tax-wise. Combined with all the time and effort it would take for the government to figure out all of these issues, for me, it doesn't really seem worth it. Although decriminalizing it would be a good option.