Most of the time it is difficult for me to be a lesbian. I feel like I'm just not the type of person that's cut out for it.... There's this mega cute girl at my work and I feel lost and hopeless about it. I have no way to tell if she's gay, I've never talked to her before and I'm the kind of person who doesn't talk to people unless they speak to me first or I have something burning to say to/ask them. I don't even know what I'm getting at here. I just feel like it is so hard for me.
Someone who is not afraid to get into peoples' business and find out if they're gay, or ask around, or to be the one to make the first move. That would help at least.
I don't think there is any specific way to be gay. I agree that it's hard when you're shy about talking to girls but that's pretty common I bet. I'm very shy around other lesbians that aren't close friends. I act awkward and unsure. I don't think it's because you're not cut out for the job. Maybe it's because you're attracted to women so they intimidate you a bit. It's perfectly normal to become nervous around a girl you like. Every person is different so you'll find that there are shy lesbians, make-the-first-move lesbians, etc. It does suck to be gay and not feel comfortable with talking to other people that are gay. Also, there are many different types of people when it comes to the extrovert/introvert scale. Not everyone likes to go up to another person and start a conversation. In time, you may become more comfortable with going up to people to talk. I used to be sooo shy that it was debilitating. Now, I'm still shy around lesbians but I can randomly talk to non-lesbian strangers without feeling awkward. It takes time and practice like malachite said. You could try baby steps and see how that goes. Instead of finding out if she is gay right away, could you say hey to her and ask an easy question like where she goes to school or if she likes where you all work? Don't pressure yourself so much. Ask easy questions and see where that leads you. Eventually you could bring up a gay topic and see how she reacts. You are "built for the job". There's not many requirements actually. You like women so that's pretty much what it means to be a lesbian. (*hug*)
You should just take a deep breath first of all! Relax! Being gay isnt something anyone is or isnt 'cut out for,' it isnt a job or a dificult task, its just a part of who you are! You already like this girl, so congrats, there's part of being gay right there! I imagine that liking her isnt an effort, just talking to her is. The whole 'having a hard time asking her if she's gay or just speaking to her' thing, hell, straight people have that problem too, so it really isnt anything to do with being gay at all. There are TONS of gay people who probably go thru the same thing you are as well, so youre not alone! I agree with midwestgirl89, dont focus on finding out if she's gay, just walk up & ask her something work-related & go from there, see where the conversation progresses! Youre gay already, so needing to have 'the right stuff' to be gay isnt something to worry about, its just something you already are! (*hug*) I hope everything works out!
You should work on starting conversations and becoming friends with her, the more people you start conversations with the more idea you will get if they are gay, but the only way to know for sure is to ask them and there are very few people who are brave enough to just come straight out and ask people.
