Hello. This is my first post so let me introduce my self. I am Julijan, and I am from Bosnia. My english is not very good so sorry in advance. I have huge crush on one of my friends. But as usual, I don't know is he gay or bi. I know him for long time, but 2 mouths ago I started to like him so I wanted to meet him little better to see is he gay or bi. We spend a lot of time togother now. He had girlfriends and he is almoust all the time chating with texts with some girls. So I think he is probably not gay but he could be bi. Sometimes he makes eye contact and when he sees that I have noticed he just smiles and turns away or something. In last few days I noticed something more: When he takes of his shirt(sometimes I don't know why he do that at all) he looks at me to see my reaction. He is a "little" pervert. Sometimes he takes off all off his clothes and runes around in front of all people that are there in the moment. Once we were out with friends he said "Julijan look at this" and when I looked I saw he pulled out his penis(and it was erected) I know its funny than he said "touch it" ,ofc I didn't. Once when we were coming back from town and we were driving our friends home, he left them at their home and didn't turn right way(the one he took was longer and with worst road) and I said "where are you going", he said "you are going to suck my cock now"( I'm sorry for using this languge, but thats how he said it), I just folowed the joke, said "well , only if you love me" and laughed, then he said: "ofc it is with love, men" I stoped the joke and asked him(..this was kinda stupid...) "Can I ask you something", he said "I am not gay" and I said "no,no, did you ever think that I am gay, I will not be mad, you can say it", he said "yes", I asked "why", he said "well, I never saw you with girl before" I just made a fake smile and said "Well I think you are bi so we are even, are you bi?" and he said this "I don't know, man", then we had a 3 seconds of silence and then I made the most stupid question ever: "How is that you don't know?" and he said " I'm just kiding man" and then he started talking about something else.The problem is I don't even know does he understand what being bi means. Once, long time ago maybe 1 year, we were at his home with friend (it was somekind of party) and we started talking about homosexuals and stuff and he said "I am not sure what I am" but I think noone noticed exept me. Maybe it looks like he is somekind of pervert jerk but he has big heart, it's just that he is not showing it. I read lots of posts about finding out is someone gay, sometimes I think he definitly is and sometimes that he is just joking around. Sometimes I even think that he is testing me, trying to find out am I gay. I am thinking about coming out to him( he is not homophobic, what is rare here in Bosnia) and see what hapens. Thank for help.
LoL, what a story, Im Brazilian, so sorry for my english too! Hum at your situation, it really is hard to tell whether he is gay/bi/Staright! I would say, not for sure, he's at least bi-curious, because of all the things you said, about joking and playing, and how he acts! He might be trying to find out what he really is you know? He might be confused too! So as you said, besides that awkward moment in the car which you guys talked, you did not officially came out to him right? Well, he might already know, and you probably are the one closest friend he has that understands his feelings! I would try to come out to him, if of course you really feel that close friendship, and if you feel comfortable enough to! I dont know your situation to the out world, but please don't take my advice just because i said it! People these days tend to hurt others! And im a defensive person, so I really think thoroughly before acting! What I said it's a possibility, not a thing to assume! So please be very carefull with your actions! Anyways, my guess is that he's a bi-curious at Least! And please if im saying bullsh*t tell me ok! no Other way to know if I'm telling wrong things! Good luck Mate!
Thank you. And thank you for your advice. In last few days I think that he is confused and doesn't understand his feelings. I will come out to him when I get a nice chance, he is open minded so atleast I will get a friend that know that I am gay( since I am not out to anyone). I'm defensive too, but I think it is safe to go out to him.
Wow, those are quite some mixed signals! Personally, I think he's somewhere between bi-curious and gay, from what I've read. He pushes away the topic of sexuality, suggesting that he might be uncomfortable with his own. You help him come out of his shell. I have male friends who are very close and personal, and pretend to flirt with me, but never would they ask me to give them a blowjob. Keep getting closer to him and definately tell him when you feel already. Things will be alot easier to figure out once he knows that you're gay for sure. Oh, and welcome to EC!
You're welcome, Only come out if you think you're ready! I am doing this just recently, so far only 3 of my close friends know(and they are all being supportive!), and In my Family only my sis knows(and she's okay with it)! Today Ill try to come out to my mom, I think its time! I know this is off topic, but just saying I'm passing through it right now! Hope he accepts you for who you are, and if he really is confused hope you get to help him! After you come out to him, he might start the denial stage so don't push it too hard! Anyways, Hope everything runs fine with Ya! And SkyDiver, I will take that welcome too, since I just got to EC too lol!
