Since I've come out of denial and came out to myself, I've noticed some changes within myself. I've noticed all my homophobia is starting to drift away. I suddenly have a super strong urge to go on a shopping spree! lol. For the past 2-3 years, my clothing selection has been god-awful. Pretty much anything that is considered really straight for the most part and plain. But now I really realized I love tight shirts, nice shoes, necklaces and bracelets, and colorful clothes. I don't really have any of these things and I am currently job searching. I'm going to need a bigger closet once I get everything I'm wanting! My taste in music is changing some too. Also, I've never liked dancing or wanted to dance, ever! But recently, It almost feels like it is going to flow out of me. I want to freaking dance all the time! (!)(!) only problem is I don't know how too. lol I realize what having a crush feels like again!! I've always noticed women who were attractive and stuff like that, but I've never really had any romantic feelings for them, I realize now I connect romantically to guys and damn does it feel like I'm in grade school again.:icon_redf Do you think this will continue to happen and maybe deep down, I'm actually nothing like this "act" i've been putting on?
Congrats!! The changes are completely normal and GREAT! It actually is basically like going through puberity a second time... except this time you actually go by how you feel and now by how other people tell you your supposed to feel. Dance! yay
dang, I couldn't have said it better! I hope this keeps up, I'm feeling so liberated and happy! Thanks by the way!
This sound so familiar! It's a great feeling isn't it It's not like you're "nothing like this act", you'll still be you but I think you're now able to show the world the "true you" and also allow yourself to show it. Which is a good thing, no more repressing who you actually want to be :icon_bigg Now let's dance (!)
Congrats on your self-acceptance and coming to terms with who you really are. I don't know if your nothing like the act of masculinity that you've been putting on, or if your comfortable to explore new avenues of your personality that were otherwise unbeknownst to you prior to accepting your sexuality. Sometimes once we figure something so crucial about ourselves out, it unlocks a bunch of other hidden traits and abilities that we never knew we had or wanted to display. Does that make sense? I wish that when I came out my fashion sense improved. Same with the dancing and everything. I'm beginning to think my body is incapable of dance...
The thing is, when you have come to accept your sexuality, it means you can no longer live the life of a hetrosexual. Most, the change isn't that noticeable in the beginning, but if you take a snap shot of that moment and a few years down the line, you will definitely notice. At first my clothes were as baggy and big as you can get, anything to show as little as possible body, heavens forbid I'd get a boner in a between straight friends, just cause a sexy guy walked by. I didn't like piercings much, never wanted a tattoo or anything. Now if you look at me and compare a recent photo with an old one, you'd see there are two different people. Now my cloths fit my body, not to tight and not loose. I have an earring in each ear, a tattoo, I'm wearing my wedding band and another ring (I used to hate rings) and I want people to notice me, where before, i didn't want them to even know I exist!
Felt the same way when I first stopped caring about who knew I was gay. When I got to the point where I could (and WOULD) just talk about it casually, I felt like dancing (I don't dance), shopping (but I don't have an adequate budget ), and I certainly feel like I should go back to elementary school, even though I just graduated! You're happy It's a good thing
Very cool! So great you're happy!!! I think mostly it's because these things are associated with being happy and free and comfortable, and you no longer feel you have to adhere to social norms as much since you, well, don't as a gay man. What's a little more oddness to the people? Of course I see you're not out yet, but you are to yourself and that's what counts!
Isn't it fun! My taste in clothes changed slightly and I became more outgoing. And I also wanted to dance when I never had before (I went to a dance party but didn't dance much, but did stay with the crowd). Things for me are coming back to "reality" but it's still a lot better than life before. Enjoy!
That's wicked awesome! Pretty cool to hear you're finding out more about yourself and being comfortable with it. I know what it feels like, kinda. Though, I question if it's just because I have to deal with some internalized homophobia, if it's something I actually like to wear/do, or if I'm just shy about it. >////> But congrats on making such progress!
i didn't even think i had internalized homophobia, until after i started allowing myself to be who i am. then i started hearing things different and what seemed gross now looks wonderful and praiseworthy. what the heck is happening to us after coming out to ourselves? is this the real us??
I know exactly what you mean. Everything that you've repressed for all these years suddenly starts flooding out of you. Well actually for me it has been slowly just coming out and I realize I have all of these desires and things I'd like to do that I didn't even know. Enjoy it. Don't stifle it.
When one is true to themselves, they shine, or glitter...or sparkle with rainbows NOT diamonds like Edward Sorry...had to.
Yep, in the same boat as you.... I said in another thread somewhere that it feels like I'm going through puberty again in terms of my interest in guys. On the clothes front, I was looking in my closet the other day. Nothing but sports jerseys, cargo shorts, and a few polos... maybe a button down or two for play but most of my "nice" shirts are for work. Congrats! You sound happy so why should the "act" stop? You're you and only you know what you is (for christs sake, do not diagram that sentence).
