Right. I wanna see how not alone I am on this (Boyfriend and things)

I am still like this. I'm not anti-social but I'm socially awkward when I'm around many people.
But I'm planning on moving out of my country to a more gay-friendly one like Canada and coming out to everyone there and living the life as I want it to be. It's unrealistic, I don't even know how to do that but right now I just don't care and it's the one hope that I'm holding on to.
So, still stuck.

 

I was very much like this until 3-4 years ago, but at that time I repressed any thought of human relationships so I didn't have quite that predicament. However I decided what was the real me, what do I actually like instead of what I tell myself to like, and followed it. I developed into this weird guy with many unique qualities, that many people (god knows why, I can't comprehend it) like, and found interesting. I am still a loner at heart so I have not gone into a relationship, but I know that the door is open for me if I would like to explore that possibility.

What I am getting at is: do you like yourself? When you wake up, are you smiling and thankful for existence? Do you want to be more of yourself?

Or do you want to just change and be someone else, are you depressed most of the time, and what happiness you find is short lived in comparison?

If you act the way you are, the easiest, but hardest thing to do because you block yourself, you might not even care about a relationship. Why do you want one? What qualities do you think are lacking and expecting to be filled/accepted by another? If you are happy being who you are, it would seem strange to me that you would feel so unfulfilled at just the prospect of not being in a relationship. If you are unique, you stick out of everyone else who is wearing a mask, and you would be noticed, whether in person or online.

Bottom line of what I am saying (my opinion): focus on you first, others will follow.

---------- Post added 2nd Jul 2012 at 05:23 PM ----------

It is not the country that is friendly, it is the people. Even in Canada there are unaccepting people, just ask my parents. :icon_sad: There cannot be anyplace in the world that is completely of one world view (even the Japanese who are basically the equivalent of a group consciousness in a human perspective, have individuality). If you're bent on moving, try out a place a little far away, but still in your country and see if you don't attract or hang around people who are similar in your current situation first.

 

Thanks, looking back at my post, it didn't come out in a way I was hoping it would, :eusa_doh: but if it helped at all I guess it will do.

 

Online dating is the solution to your problem. It's pretty mainstream at this point. Found my guy that way and he's pretty awesome.

 

I'm a lot like you.

-I have a lot of friends, but none of them are "real" friends who I can talk to about my feelings, text when I'm feeling alone, talk about my problems or whatever. I'm *very* independent in that sense.
-I'm not part of any of those groups either. Aside from this site, of course.
-I prefer staying in as well. I'm not a hermit or anything, but I'm content with quiet nights by myself.
-I'm the same in the sense that I always feel like nobody would want to be with me. I guess I try not to think of it, though.

And that's exactly why I want a boyfriend. I'm independent, but someone to connect with emotionally is what I always dream about, and hope to find one day.

So no, you're not alone

 

You need to be confident in yourself. there is a guy out there for you, you just need to find him. You need to put in the effort by going out, looking online, and trying and meet new people.

 

I'm a nerd. Spend a lot of time online, playing Dungeons and Dragons, and writing. A few years ago, I'd never been kissed, had almost no friends, had a complete lack of self-confidence, and was completely convinced no girl would ever be interested in me or want to kiss me. I felt like there was a wall separating me from everyone else my age I knew - like they'd all been taught how to be teenagers, and I'd missed that lesson. I thought I'd never even have close friends who'd want to be affectionate with me, after all my school friends pulled away from me.

Now I have an amazing circle of friends, of all sexualities and genders. I can hold my best friends' hands and tell them how much I love them and hear it back. I'm still single, but I've dated girls, I've kissed girls, I flirt my head off with female friends, I've spent nights in the arms of girls I'd consider far more attractive than myself and I've felt wanted and loved.

It happens. I thought I was the prime example of someone who'd never be loved. I was wrong.

 

I'm kind of in between what you described. Some important pieces are falling into place (job, LGBT group-for what it's worth...) but no friends and finding it hard to socialize in the nearby city, because I feel like an outsider, or in my area because there's nothing around. I'm also not out to anyone who knew me before I accepted myself.

Do I think about a boyfriend? Yes. But do I recognize it's not the right time for it? Yes. Do I see a time and situation where it will be right? Yes. And I'm working on getting to that point. Right now, I'm focusing on myself and making some friends, though it's slower than I thought. And I think DragonBoy is right focus on yourself, be you. And if there's something you don't like about your situation that you have complete control over, change it. Also, just be patient.

 

I can relate to some of those things.
* I really don't have any true/good friends .. moreso just 'co-workers'/'neighbors/etc
* I'm not part of any GLBT groups or even know of any...
* I pretty much prefer to stay in & be on the computer/etc
* I'm also sorta anti-social and/or socially awkward / or something along those lines

 

I'm very similar in that I don't have any people I can call my friends. In fact, most of the friends I ever had never really knew me well at all. I hung out with one person for the first time in months about 2 weeks ago. Most of my time I spend playing video games, reading, or just working to keep myself busy. I guess the difference is people think I'm very friendly and nice. No one thinks i have social anxiety or that I'm an anxious person since I like to hide that part of myself. But my relationships with people never seem to go very deep and I just end up alone.I'm still extremely closeted, not really out to anyone important in my life. I'm also not involved in any lgbt groups although I did try joining one and it didn't work out. I wish I knew what to tell you but sadly I can't even help myself! I've also never dated or been in a relationship. I don't have much life experience on things that most people my age have already experienced. Honestly, I would much rather have friends than a relationship but I wouldn't mind getting in a relationship. I guess all I can tell you is you're not alone in this and if you wanna bitch about it together, I'm up for it lol!

 

I'm also kind of shyish. Trying to be more open with people, but it's hard, especially since I feel like I'm the only one going through this around me.

I did want a boyfriend for a while, but I finally realized that it would probably be better to just focus on trying to be the person that I want to be, because dating someone isn't necessarily the key to happiness with oneself. Relationships go bad, and I probably wouldn't have been able to recover from a bad breakup.

My school has a LGBT group, but I'm kinda scared to go since I feel like I'd be outing myself.

I also felt like nobody would want to date me for a few months, in which I had those darned back to back straight crushes, but I realized it wasn't my fault. Then I thought about it really, and I realized that now wouldn't be the best time to date someone.

 

Hey OP...SNAP. All my old friends are at Universities in different parts of the country. I'm one of those people who'd rather have a few amazing friends than know loads of people but none really well. I'm struggling to find part time work and don't even feel comfortable walking - yes, walking - in public: I feel like a sack of spanners.

TL;DR I know that feel bro.

 

OMG I feel that too! If I walk in public without anyone at my side, I feel really awkward and can't walk normally, I'm conscious of every step and it makes me really nervous.

 

Yep, that's me

I only have a few good friends, and all of them are now literally thousands of miles from where i live. I'm also socially awkward and find it hard to express myself in a way that doesn't make it seem strange or awkward- I simply made a fool of myself today when i met by prospective boss

Other things i find similar:
- I have a lot of "acquaintances", but none of those are close enough to really share my feelings or secrets with, or even spend time together except in the most ephemeral of circumstances.
- I spend almost all of my time indoors, and i don't leave home much unless i have to.
- I'm a super nerd and geek- social ineptness comes naturally
- I have a sense of humour most find weird or strange
- I'm also asking myself "who would like someone like me?" "What would others find attractive in me?" "why don't i just give up?" but at the same time, wishing i have a boyfriend (and as the result becomes depressed).

 

Gazza123, I know exactly how you feel! Mine breaks down to,
-Small town
-no transport
-few gay people (under 40)
-still in the closet
I am trying my hardest to get out of this rut! I think until I just come out of the closet I am going to be stuck there, but I don't wanna come out of the closet completely, until I have found someone, also a companion, as you put it.