Hi I'm 47 y.o. mostly closeted bi male. I don't even know if coming out is the right thing for me to do or not. I haven't been in a relationship with a man, only women but I know that I'm sexually attracted to men as well and someday hope to have an experience. I'm wondering if coming out is better, or if keeping it to myself is the way to go. It's easy to conceal because I do like women, more than men and can blend right in the straight world no problem. I guess it's just that I am hiding something about myself that I would like not to but I'm really chicken, which doesn't make me feel good about myself. I do wonder if I'm causing more harm to myself by hiding my full sexuality than I would by coming out. Maybe I don't have to come out to the whole world. There are two people who I've told and they are lesbian friends., so telling them was safe. I'd really like to hear what people think.
Hi there, welcome to EC! Well, first of all, you don't have to come out to everyone at once if you don't want to. That's a HUGE step, and it's probably better just to slowly work your way up. That's what I've done, and I find it's nice because first I tell people who I know are accepting, which gives me confidence to tell more people. It's great that you've already told your lesbian friends. First step is always the hardest one! I would strongly suggest finding people in your life who you know are accepting and telling them. It's such a release to tell somebody.
Yes, agreed. Even though I didn't do it that way. I came out to everybody at once which was freeing, but ultimately caused some drama that took me weeks to repair and some drama I'm still working on. I kinda wish I would have done it slower so I could meet other gay people, form a bond with other gay people, and then have them to talk with when I finally did come out about being open to the world. Just kinda lost and drifting at the moment, but that's changing. Ultimately, I don't regret a goddamned thing, though.
Well, I'm 19 years old now, and I'm actually going through it right now, What i really didn't get is , do you truly accept yourself? Im a bit of slow person so please don't mind me! Anyways, I'm going with the slow paced way, Only 3 of my close friends know, and in my family only my sis know, and so far all been accepting. I am planning to tell my mom today so wish me luck! I think this way, as it's already been said, helps you built self confidence, which will make you fell more comfortable each time you tell someone, and it also will make a strong wall of support/protection just knowing there are friends who "got your back"! And another thing, if you don't fit stereotypes, like people won't tell your bi just by looking/talking with you, I strongly support the Idea that your sexual orientation its only yours business, no one needs to know! Like you only need to tell if you really feel the urge to, like if you feel you're hiding it from a close friend! If you feel that way with your friends, then you should at least think about coming out to the closest ones! And do it only when you feel ready! And welcome aboard!
Hi and thanks for your replies. Well accepting my sexuality has been a bit of a struggle because I grew up in a homophobic home. And it's taking some time for me to realize that sexuality isn't black or white but that there's a whole shade of gray in between.But as I get older I think it's getting better. Going real slow seems to be the way for me I think. Being careful of who I tell and why.
