Alright guys, this is a very honest thread I've decided to start here. Have you guys ever felt like being gay automatically made you a "better person" (kinder, more considering of the feelings of others, with less prejudices) than the straight people from your own gender? Since I've come to terms with my sexuality (around a year ago) I've been feeling like this for quite a lot of time. Of course, this was an ultimate ego booster that made me feel special. Recently, though, I realized that it was all bullshit. As many of you probably agree with, I've for a long time been disgusted by the way straight men treat women. They often compare them to high quality/low quality meat, and upon meeting a girl, always talk and wonder if she is or is not hot, as if she has nothing else to say. Well, I used to think straight men (not all, mostly only jocks and guys who were popular in high school) really only cared about one thing and that it was no use crushing over them the way I often did, after all they did not have anything to back up their good looks. After thinking to myself, I've realized that I'm not that different from them. I actually DO care about the appearance of the guy I'm interested in, and if he doesn't look "hot" (god I hate this word) to me, you can consider me out. I would love to be in a relationship with someone who understands, is funny and likes the same things I like, but I would not mind just having sex for the fun of it, only with guys who were "desirable". An example: There's a classmate of mine who's braver than me, and came out recently as bissexual. However, he is very short, wears glasses and is fat. Overall, very unnatractive. A friend of mine who does NOT view women as meat asked me if I would hook up with him, and my answer was a "hell no". I did it without thinking, as an instinct. You see, the pedestal came down and I stopped judging other men. Even though being gay can make a person certainly lose SOME of his prejudices (human beings are very sensitive to what is different no matter who they want to sleep with), it does not make one less shallow or more "emotional" than their straight counterparts. What do you all have to say about this? Have you ever been in a similar situation?
Actually, quite the opposite. I realized how much better people my friends were and my ex-girlfriend was when I came out. Although, I've never seen myself as a "better" person ever. I see myself as a "good guy." I think we all do. I think that's a natural human feeling. There are few people in history that I can think of that didn't think of themselves as the good guy... maybe Charlie Manson and the Zodiac Killer. Even Hitler thought he was a good guy. To say I'm better though... that doesn't sit well with me. I'm an average person with an average experience. I try to help people when I can. My parents bred a ethic of community service into my sister and I growing up. I'm involved in community service and my sister is too. I remember going to Mobile shortly after Katrina and helping clean. I volunteer my time at humane shelters when I can and tutor students with CDs and LDs for free when I'm not teaching. My sister does Operation Smile through her position as a PICU nurse. But are we better? Just because we have the time and the resources to give ourselves to the community does not make us better. That is what is expected, I feel.
I'm glad to see that you are dedicated in what you are doing to help others. I wish I didn't have a huge laziness that prevented me from doing many meaningful things in my life. But when you said you realized your friends were better people when you came out, you were surprised to see that they accepted you, and you weren't expecting it? Maybe "better person" is too strong of a term. What I am asking for everyone is this question: if you were straight, do you think your personality would be different, or the way you viewed the opposite sex? (for the better or for the worst)
if i were a woman and straight you mean ? um...let me see... I would be different person altogether wouldn't i? so im not sure what i would be like. i know how i FAKED being, does that count? in a different question, before i accepted or admitted what i am is not a woman who is straight, was my personality more stuck up or bigoted or less caring? i was humbled by age 6 from bullying that was all schooldays 5 days a week for all elementary school. so bullying made me not stuck up. i grew more caring with each suffering i had, tmj, being hospitalized in ICU, being in a wheelchair, going deaf, and more...and... coming out. yeah it impacted me to care about gays and trans in a far more deep and personal brotherhood way i never expected to experience. bigotry, some i wanted out was taught me by bad experiences and prejudiced words of others towards many groups, and each went away from a single experience. i loved jews but had some prejudice went away with visiting a synagogue where i saw them love God in an equal way to any Christian, and I felt His presence there. to blacks who marry whites, i knew the Bible says we are one race but it still bothered me, until Sociology class and a film showing how a blood test proved we have the ability in our DNA to have any two people mate and in a few thousand years again reproduce all the ethinic diversity we have now! i literally cheered in class out loud, as the prejudiced dropped off! but i never hated gays, i hate nobody, so i thought i was not bigoted or prejudiced. i had no real opposition to equality in marriage, just didn't see why they wanted it so bad, but for money reasons. strangely enough, i found after i came out on EC, i found a lot of things i had felt went away. i used to see a pix of two men kissing as gross, i was told it was so i saw it was...i suddenly found it beautiful...two men in love is praiseworthy. how weird, how did that happen? i find i feel even closer to my friend who is gay, and can openly tell him how i feel now about any topic, i don't have to hide my true self from him anymore. we are even more tight because of my honesty.i cared about him before, but now i went to Pride and got him Nike Pride tshirt when he was in hospital, before i could and would never do that...and it and my company made him much happier and hopefully sped his recovery time. so this is just one more process of God letting all sorts of painful unwantable experiences carve at me to shape me into a more priceless diamond. i hope by the time I'm done in life, i have gleamed enough to make many people's lives better...and hopefully have all my worst qualities fallen away.
I feel like being in the LGBT community tends to make someone more accepting of other people's differences (not necessarily sexuality), but as you probably know that's not always true.
Well, I don't know if this has anything to do with me being gay or not, but I always find myself kinder towards animals and sometimes people. When I was young, the kids liked to catch grasshoppers and throw them into fire just to hear the pop pop sound. I found that cruel and never joined them. I try to save all animals when they're in trouble. I never want to hurt one. People around me just don't care. Sometimes people are rude to or ignore beggars, poor people on the street,... and think nothing of it. I feel sorry for them. And I'm mostly not aggressive at all. I guess I'm kinder (it's weird talking about myself like this), not sure about better. And I'm sure being gay did make me more open to changes and differences. That's just one aspect of this. You two just don't click. He's unattractive because he is unattractive. You are programmed to like beauty. That doesn't really say anything.
