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pushing me to date marry and have kids

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Deaf Not Blind, Jul 6, 2012.

  1. Deaf Not Blind

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    today was my fun party to just burp and stuff, only the women came no burps.

    one begged me hold her baby. she added when i was looking at her funny that
    i know you don't like to hold them but" and that is not true, i just don't go all goooggooo over babies! I'm not that way.

    So i said sit her in front of me and ill hold onto her so she don't fall. why without a photo taken she want me hold her 6 month old baby for?

    then she told my deafies she met her hubby online some fish site? and they signed to me "clock ticking minutes, you are old, go on internet, marry husband in 3 months, have kids, she did your turn next" i was so pissed.

    they all had bikinis on, i didn't go swimming i had hot dogs to cook. but i told them i had swim trunks with palm trees with me. hints people, wearing mens stuff, not dating, not interested in acting baby crazy...

    why everybody want to make us get married and have kids for??
    life will go on for THEM just fine without them telling me what to do!
     
  2. ameliawesome

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    I totally agree. Babies aren't indicators of success, nor should every person have children. It's a very personal issue and people need to stop trying to push traditional family value stuff on everyone else.
     
  3. Deaf Not Blind

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    and the girl really teasing me about it, she is not even currently in a relationship!
    :/

    if she wants that for herself, go for it!
    but i have never ever asked a person, "sooo, when are you going to get yourself a husband?" actually, i only know adult women to do this.
     
    #3 Deaf Not Blind, Jul 7, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2012
  4. lilbitlost

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    Urgh thats a cheap comment, sounds more like selling yourself (the hubby in 3 months line).

    I think people push others because its the 'societal norm' i usually find bluntly stating thats not what you want either stops people pestering or they just go 'oh fair enough'. Some women seem extra pushy, i wander if its a self-validation thing? idk.

    The random baby holding thing sounds very odd too.
     
  5. BradThePug

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    Ugh.. I hate it when that happens. I am terrible with babies. I feel like I am going to drop them in I hold them. I think I was born without the motherly instinct...

    I also hate it when people try to force me into a relationship. (For me.. this comes more commonly phrased in the question "do you have a boyfriend...yet??)"

    Also... the whole baby thing... I don't think that some people realize that it's your choice when it comes to having a baby. If you don't want to have a baby, then you don't have to have one.
     
  6. Tetraquark

    Tetraquark Guest

    I hate it when people do that. I usually get it in the form of my mom saying that one day I might change my mind about not wanting kids. My grandma also likes to tell me that her doctor met his wife at my school and that she didn't send me to school to get a husband. I guess that she has good intentions, but when she says it every single time we talk, it still sends a different message.
     
  7. Deaf Not Blind

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    oh my friend was asked first how she met her hubby, as she never dated and was celibate. she met him online on some fish site. 3 months after meeting they got hitched. it worked out perfectly for her, really. it is a God thing. a miracle. but, that does not mean it will be same for me. and now they think it will. that is how that 3 month thing got in it.

    I don't even like if a man tells me they can burp and i can't, cuz he is a man and "you are a lady and not acting ladylike." Actually I am a man too, but I have no issues with any girls wanting to burp, it sounds funny and is natural. During a wedding no, but out on town joking around in a park do it! It only will make that person seem more real to me, I see nothing about gender in it.

    Shaving legs or arm or any parts, I have a rare condition makes me have red itchy hives by a skin scratching, and yet I am expected to do so and wear skimpy summer clothes? REALLY? That is American 20th century norms, and for me is actually painful. I never wanted to do it, and I think it is actually kinda creeepy, like are we supposed to all look like children prepuberty? :confused: But if women WANT to shave, or a man wants to, fine, do it. I will not stop you. But why tell me i MUST? They act as if it is offensive to break the code of society. Answer this: is it immoral to not shave? is it against my religion? I gotta say on that one it is not even in the Bible to force females to shave legs, so the attitude of you are disgusting for not shaving is really strange to me. Peer pressure!

    Yes, there was a comment how warm it is and I had a tshirt an shorts on with knee socks. so, I can NOT shave and wear short socks? I refuse to dress in a bikini cuz #1 it says I am a sexual object to others, and #2 it would make me look female. If my friends feel happy in bikinis do it, I will check yu out! But don't ask me to do same to make you feel okay with what yu are doing. I am not going to cave on this one. I got conservative but nice mens swim trunks, degraded grey scale with black big palm trees, and a swim tshirt for guys too. So I won't be getting a sunburn, and the girls already have one.

    I really do think there is some kinds self-valadating thing going on here, and most women NEED to do it. They did it to my mom, and I hated hearing them hen peck her telling her how she did this wrong and needed to do that. I always told myself they better never try it on me when I grow up. Now they are trying it, and I am not obeying. I have a brain. Sure to get along sometimes I do things i would not ordinarily do, like see a stupid movie, but that is for love. I will not cave into strong societal peer pressure to conform to a strange vision of what i MUST be, when it is not even close to what I am, and I would be very ashamed of myself and extremely unhappy if I made THEM happy, who have nothing more to do in my life but irritate me.

    yeah, not a photo of me with the baby, and saying she "knows I do not like babies" which is not true i just do not go gaga over them, i treat all people all ages as humans and give kids respect. they are not an accessory or fashion statement or kitten. then after about 10 min i saw her trying to grab stuff and so I figured hey lets be productive using this time to help the baby practice standing, get the muscles stronger, maybe she will try to take a step! So have her strong in my hands, but got her on her feet, and about 2 min later her mom says' oh i will take her, "auntie *" is getting tired of holding you now.' :confused: WOW, that sentence was so wrong. I am not female so calling me auntie felt really icky, and i was not tierd I was sitting down, and she is 6 month baby, it didn't tire me out! weird. I wondered if it was to try to get hormones racing in me to want to be fucked by a man and start producing babies?

    she was a bit different before she got married, maybe she forgot now.

    ---------- Post added 7th Jul 2012 at 02:20 PM ----------

    I have a more paternal instinct, I want to have kids someday, but as a man does! I know, not likely God is going to create that possibility in me, but I do feel like teaching kids stuff, not worry sorting over diapers. It was so gross my friend was talking to me as i was grilling stuff and started pulling out a tit! To feed her baby, but STILL! In horror, before i could see nipple, i turned away. I usually look in face as i am hoh, and want to be sure I hear right, but um no its okay to not hear when tits full of milk get pulled out of the harness. That is not me at all! EWWW! I would prefer to teach them how to grab stuff and stand, a woman can nurture it.
     
  8. ameliawesome

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    As long as your sense of self is strong you can let these comments fly right by. They can even be funny sometimes. When people who don't know me well ask me if I have a boyfriend I usually start laughing before I give any answer.
     
  9. Deaf Not Blind

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    ah, but only thing is i am not yet out.
    very few people fully have been disclosed to.
    this group, which had my mom there, i only have hinted to and of course there is my own actions.

    but i did by nature give them some very strange looks at those comments. VERY uncomfy party. and again i was the only guy there, and so no belching. so sad. the whole party got lady like.