Lesbians taken seriously?

This sounds more like a needed venting than like an actual opinion...?

But that's ok. I seen some cases of lesbians not taken seriously but for most it is taken very seriously, sometimes drastically so (religious families and so on). Think about it; when you're thrown out of your house and family and might as well be dead to them, that's being taken rather seriously no?

But yeah, I think I know what you mean. Like for the older generation... girlfriend-girlfriend cannot be anything else than friends, even if the girls are married and lived together for years and have kids. They will still talk about the girls as friends.

 

there are good and bad people everywhere.

some will take your word for it, others wont. if they dont then they arent really worth your time are they?

i dont care personally whether men take me seriously or not.... its when women doubt me because i seem to 'girly' thats when i get annoyed slightly especially if its a girl im interested in.

 

Haha my mom will kill anyone who doesn't take her seriously.

 

I think it is bisexuals that aren't taken seriously, which would be very difficult.

 

I second this. And it doesn't help that all those straight women are at the bars sucking face with each other for attention. It makes bisexuals and lesbians look bad. It really pisses me off to the point I rarely go to bars. :bang:

 

Yeah, I often feel like lesbians aren't taken seriously. I think both bisexual and lesbian women aren't taken seriously by a lot of people. In my experience straight men have a very hard time believing a woman could not be attracted to men. It's frustrating and quite ridiculous that they have such a hard time believing women could be gay.

It's not just straight men though, I feel like the mainstream media also doesn't take us seriously. Like in shows where a woman is with another woman for five minutes and then they never mention it again. Or people in bars who scream for girls to make out because it's hot.... Or straight girls who decide it'll be fun to be "facebook engaged" or have a fake wedding ceremony with another girl as a joke... I've even experienced this by my gay guy friends who believe lesbian sex isn't real sex and don't take it seriously. Anyway yeah I agree with you and it is so annoying. :bang:

But I agree with PurpleCrab too that it is also taken very seriously by many people like for lesbians that deal with bullying, getting kicked out, being judged, being stared at in the street, being beaten up, etc. It is taken seriously but it is also not taken seriously if that makes sense.

 

I think it is sometimes hard for lesbians to be taken seriously for a number of reasons:

1. Feminine lesbians don't "fit the bill." They wear makeup, dress girly, wear jewelry, and act like any other straight girl would. Nobody would ever guess they are gay, so when they do come out as gay, people either don't believe it or think they are probably just bi or confused or looking for attention. You know how they always say, "She's too pretty to be gay." Butch lesbians, on the other hand, are undeniably gay and people would take them seriously as lesbians.

2. The media almost always portrays lesbianism as a phase. With the exception of a few shows, like The L Word, most other tv shows use a lesbian relationship to gain ratings or attention for a short period of time before invalidating the female-female relationship. It's usually either that a straight girl suddenly realizes she has feelings for a lesbian and goes gay for a while before breaking up and going back to men or they bring a lesbian character on the show for a few episodes to have a relationship with another girl and then somehow write them off the show. There are other possibilities, but the media usually makes it so that lesbian relationships exist as a straight-girl phase or it's just something that they don't care to develop further than just a few-episode fling.

3. Female sexuality is more fluid. I think more women are open to exploring their sexuality, so more and more straight women are doing stuff with other women for the experience or for fun. So people come to assume that most lesbians are just these straight women having fun.

4. Girls in general are closer in their friendships and are more touchy-feely with each other. Friends hug more often, hold hands, cling arms, cuddle, kiss on the cheeks, etc. So sometimes it's hard to tell whether girls are just really close friends or are a lesbian couple.

 

These are all good points. It isn't just barsexuals making lesbians and bisexual women look illegitimate. There are a number of other factors, which you've covered very well here. A+ post. Though I wouldn't say that female sexuality is more fluid. Women have just always been given more freedom to do what they want, or at least here recently we have. If we want to experiment or dress like men or ditch looking super girly, that's all okay. If a guy did the same, it wouldn't be nearly as acceptable.

 

That's true. I was thinking that but forgot to mention it. Men have to live with stricter conventions of masculinity, which if they deviated, becomes a real problem in the eyes of society. Men are raised being told to be tough, to not show emotion, to be the manliest man they can be, and to be a man for a woman; anything else is unacceptable to close-minded people.

I also just remembered something that I read in a journal article. Lesbianism was very present in the 18th and 19th century in England and was rather accepted by society. Women were allowed to be close to other women, and many had relationships with women outside of their heterosexual marriages. In some cases, lesbians lived together and considered themselves to be a married couple. Society did not have a problem with this, but they were totally opposed to male homosexuality. Sodomy was actually a felony punishable by imprisonment. So maybe lesbianism isn't "taken as seriously" only because there are harsher views on gay men than women. Women have more freedom to express themselves, so their sexuality isn't scrutinized as harshly.

 

See, most girls are already really touchy-feely and many girls kiss other girls for the hell of it so yes, it's hard to find actual lesbians. Many lesbians, especially if feminine, are not taken seriously because people just don't believe us. I've witnessed girls telling a guy they were gay and the guys still try to get into their pants. It's infuriating.

 

I've even seen girls who are halfway femme/butch being chatted up by guys, I got asked for my number afterwards. All this happened in a gay bar. I think some straight guys think there it and think they are so insinely hot (in their own mind perhaps) that any girl who says not for whatever reason is lying.

Guys like that are even a pain in the rear end to straight girls I think

 

Yeah when guys do that it's really annoying like they don't believe us or something. Straight girls kiss more girls than I do!! :eusa_doh:

 

*sigh* you are definitely right. lesbians are either completely hated, or not taken seriously, or even invisible to society...

but sometimes, just sometimes, we are accepted and treated with the respect we deserve.

I think what drives me the most nuts is how people tend to assume that a penis is required for sexual activity... I mean, I had a couple of guys trying to convince me that there was nothing I could do with a girl that I couldn't do with a guy... and I was thinking to myself, do I really need to explain why giving cunnilingus to a guy would be sort of... erm... unlikely? ...instead I just suggested that since they thought guys were so great, maybe they should have sex with one. that shut them up just long enough to escape, lol...

oh, and I think butch lesbians are just as hot as femme lesbians, for the record... it's all in the shape (yay for curves!) of her body, and has very little to do with the type of cloth she prefers to cover herself with

 

hmmm. i haven't had any problems being taken seriously. people are usually surprised to find out i'm gay because i look very girly, but once I've said I am, I've yet to have anyone question it or behave inappropriately.

 

I think we live in a heteronormative society where sex reigns king. There are a lot of straight guys who hear lesbian and start to drool. I think it's because of these sexual fantasies that straight men have about two women fuel a sentiment that "girls aren't lesbians all the way, they're bi at best and maybe I can get some... WITH TWO OF EM!"

To a straight guy, lesbian means one of two things; 1). super hot, or 2). super butch, crew cut, truck driver, yadda yadda yadda (whatever terrible and demeaning stereotypes you can think of).

I know that it's been said throughout time, but men think with their :***: and since we live in a world that's very patriarchal, straight guys tend to set the tone.

It sucks... but it's reality. Man, fuck straight people (I don't really mean it, but that's how I feel sometimes.)

BTW, trust me... I'm like a straight guy whisperer of sorts