1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How to tell

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by LookingGlass, Jul 13, 2012.

  1. LookingGlass

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2011
    Messages:
    71
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    How do you know if someone actually likes you or just wants to get into your pants?

    Also, if someone does like you, but you aren't officially dating, is it a good sign that that guy hooks up with another guy(s) in the meantime?

    How do you all feel about it and what do you think? I'm gay, but not totally out and I do like a guy. I just can't figure him out. I'm obviously no expert when it comes to this stuff either.

    Any experience?
     
  2. Jeff

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2012
    Messages:
    263
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Boystown, CA, USA
    1. If they really like you more than just for the possibility of sex, then they will take more time getting to know you more -- before the sex idea is introduced.

    2. It is not a good sign nor a bad one if he hooks up with another guy. But it does mean he may be interested in (only) sex with you, and not a relationship.

    My feelings are that some sex for just sex is ok. When you are young it does not hurt to get some experience with a couple of guys at least -- so that when you do find someone who you wish to be in a relationship with, and they are also interested in one, that you have an idea what to do. And you also get to find out what you like, and what you do not like.

    These are just my opinions, and you only asked what are our thoughts on this.

    I used to be very old fashioned and think sex for a one night stand was pretty sad. And that a real relationship was what made sex what it is. I now think that being safe (using condoms, or playing safe) is the most important thing, and that having some fun with a few guys is ok provided you know what you are doing, and not drunk or being risky.
     
  3. BudderMC

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    3,148
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    1) I think that if you want a relationship that's more than just sex, you should be wary to not give it up so early. I don't think a lot of people will be willing to invest months of time into getting to know you only to sleep with you once and then run.

    Fun fact: love was actually theorized to be an evolutionary mechanism developed by men to show women that they'd be good mates when women would withhold sex from them. :slight_smile:

    2) I don't think it's a good sign, but by not being in a committed relationship with the guy, yeah, his options are open and he's free to look around in other places. It doesn't necessarily mean he's dating other guys or even sleeping with them, but it's a possibility.
     
  4. LookingGlass

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2011
    Messages:
    71
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Thanks for your responses. I'm not really experienced in this whole relationship thing. I think my greatest fear is the guy I end up dating cheats on me or something. I don't want to spend so much time getting to know someone just to get shot down in some form. This has happened to me before and it sucks. The more it happens, the more careful I get. I suppose I tend to play the "wait and see" card just so I can observe my interest's actions. Actions do speak louder than words after all.


    Again, I'm dumb when it comes to all this stuff so I'm probably going about it the wrong way. I'm thinking of just spilling the beans to see what happens. No sense in waiting I guess.

    As for the fun fact, I tend to agree with that. Hard to explain, but I see it often in heterosexual relationships. You think that might be a possibility in homosexual relationships?
     
  5. BudderMC

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    3,148
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    ^ as far as I know it's the same in homosexual relationships. From what I've learned so far in my psych class (where I picked up that fact), men and women still, evolutionarily-speaking, behave the same regardless of whether they're trying to "mate" with a man or a woman. Though we haven't gotten to the section on gay and bisexual people yet, so I'm interested to see what comes up. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  6. ryanninjasheep

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2012
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    In your bed, waiting for you
    Isnt that also why some women wouldnt?
     
  7. BudderMC

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    3,148
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Sorry, could you elaborate? I'm not quite sure what you're asking. :icon_sad: