Straight Women & Lesbians

Perhaps they are more tolerant.

I often see girls holding hands, hugging each other,... and they are not gay. So lesbians are not really that different from straight girls, aside from their orientation. It's more acceptable for them I guess, and they won't be easily mistaken for a lesbian if they hang out with one.

With guys though, I think it hurts their ego to be mistaken for a gay guy, and they try to steer clear of gay guys to not be associated with them.

 

Do you remember where you saw that statistic? Would be interesting to see how they got it.

 

BINGO!
I saw girl sitting on another's lap, in college church group. i stared. she would hug everybody, and had an almost high on pot look in her eyes. she was so stinking straight! i would never expect a straight adult man to go sit on other adults both genders, arms around their necks, and coming from behind and hugging them. although she creeped me out enough i told her not to hug me from behind cuz i not see her i almost put my fist in her face...it a guy was doing that i would have been really weirded out.

so yeah all girls act gay, and guys don't want to appear girly.

 

Because guys have to deal with upholding their masculinity or at least an image of their masculinity. Gay men are viewed as feminine; thus, a straight man hanging out with a gay man threatens the straight man's masculinity.

It's also about association. Straight men don't want to be mistaken for being gay just because they hang around gay men. And even if they say they don't mind gay men or if they say they even like them, other people may assume they're gay themselves.

Women, on the other hand, are just more free with their sexuality and are more touch-feely with each other. Girls can be really close to other girls without it meaning that they're lesbians. And they don't have to "protect their femininity" as males have to protect their masculinity.

 

I agree with all of the replies above. Females are not afraid to hide their femininity, well enough of them. But something about me goes well with the straight men, I do not want to appear gay (because my mom refers my female friends as girlfriends, that's why) and it ruins my ego inside. It'll appear weird to others for me as a female not wanting to refer my female friends as girlfriends.

 

Ohh... and I thought that I lived in an open-minded place..! Around me there is LOTS of lesbian discrimination; people in general are more accepting of gay guys than of lesbians.

How many times I've overheard females talking together stating and agreeing at how disgusting it is, and that they'd love to go to gay bars to dance if it wasn't of the lesbians in there. Like their worse nightmare was to be approached by a lesbian.

And most of the time men are somehow more accepting of lesbians... but not women... I've also seen where it's the older generations of women who discriminate.

 

im gonna be all scientific-y here and tell you that it originated when we were still cavepeople (homoerectus) basically, men were constantly out hunting and fighting and if there was a man who preffered to stay in the cave with the women, he was putting the tribe at risk. however, if a woman didn't want to just sit in the cave and take care of children, she could venture out a little bit farther to get berries... and no one would mind. women are naturally more accepting then men are.
...and im bi so i understand how 'lesbian' looks from both ends of the spectrum. i hold hands and hug and even kiss my straight and lesb and bi friends... no one cares, usually. but when my gay and bi guy friends spend one second to long hugging, they get no end of shit from people.

 

Normally I'd agree with the evolutionary bit, but I honestly don't think that's what it is in this case (or at least not the primary reason). I'd say it's all about social stigma, like others have said. In our society, being a masculine man is what's desired, it's plastered all over the media, and has ties to evolutionary theories, like mentioned. And since the stereotype of gay guys being feminine is equally prevalent, they don't exactly fit in with the rest of the masculine guys.

I'd argue you could tie it into feminism (not that I know a whole lot about it) as well, or at least the idea that women in general have something they could be fighting against the men for. That idea that women need to stand up for themselves I think makes them more inclusive of all women. Men, on the other hand, don't need to be fighting for much since we're relatively in the position of power, so there's no need to accept "all men". Going off that, since the stereotype is that gay men will identify with more feminine things, I don't think it helps for the "men" to be bonding with someone who is more related to the opposing group than themselves.

That was a whole load of probably theoretical bullshit that I kinda strung together as I went along, so if it's wrong, feel free to correct me.

 

Well it's quite simple. Women are more in touch with their emotions, they are more sensitive and care more deeply about people and things than guys do. A guy is more likely to casually discard a friend because they feel uncomfortable around them, whereas a girl will probably try to understand and accept that friend as long as that friend in turn understands and accepts that she may not necessarily share the same views and respects her personal space.

 

This has actually been one of my obstacles as a trans woman. I was raised male, so I'm working on being less emotionally distant and accepting of hugs and affection from my female friends. From a very young age, I was punished if I cried or showed any emotion at all, honestly. My parents are of an older generation and raised me in an old fashioned way.

I'm actually very emotion, especially after starting hormone therapy, but I emotions often don't hit me until I'm alone. They just kind of "turn off" when I'm around other people.

 

My emotions are like an uncontrolled maelstrom within my heart. I keep everything bottled within my heart and I'm friendly to people but I try to keep my distance for now and will continue to do so until I've begun transition and am fully out. Like you said, I've suffered most any time I've showed my feelings around people, I was beaten up a few times when I was in middle and high school for that too. At home, when I'm alone with my thoughts or behind the computer is when I'm most open with myself. I relax and allow myself to feel when I'm alone, and my thoughts are much clearer. I look forward to being free of any male expected behavior once and for all so I can step outside and show my vivid emotions and smile to the world.

 

I have the exact same where i live

had i come out in senior school it would have been hell, any girl suspected to be gay was seen as basically scary and disgusting. I think its a big reason why i didnt accept i was gay until uni

 

Is this a joke, where do you live? Where I live woman are actually more judgmental and lesbians are much, much more talked about and almost every girl thinks every lesbian is obsessed with her. Lesbians are like an abomination here. It depends where you live really. No one gives a fuck if a guy is gay, sure they're talked about time to time but guys are constantly trying to "turn" a girl straight and girls are always talking behind lesbian's backs.
Also, I don't think it has anything to do with being "touchy-feely" or emotional at all. It all depends on the person.

 

What Julia says is kinda true. The first person to call me a dyke was a girl and she was the first and last. Then again, I used to get called a fag all the time in high school. I dunno... Women might not be as confrontational as men, but they're gossipy. They do damage to people's reputations, minds, and emotions rather than their bodies.

When I first read this thread, I thought it was going to turn into yet another thread with gay men saying how lesbians have it easier when they don't. Our experiences may be a bit different, but the lesbian experience is not at all easier than the gay male one.

 

That's sort of true - that straight women are often more OK about lesbians than straight men are about gay men - but I do think that some straight girls can be all funny about lesbians.

Many of them also seem to think that lesbians fancy themselves for some reason.

Because, of course, if a lesbian touches a straight girl, it's because she fancies her. :rolle:

---------- Post added 15th Jul 2012 at 11:47 AM ----------

Also, as has been said in some of the posts above, with women it can be more subtle... and bitchy.

 

I've known a few women who are/were fine with gay men but had a problem with lesbians. I have no idea what the stats are, however, as most of my friends are queer-friendly.

 

I say women are more kind, caring, and forgiving. Men are.... not as much as women. Though I'm pretty sure none of my friends are judging.

 

A guy will punch you, he'll throw you the the ground and stomp on you, he'll call you names, but when you aren't around he generally doesn't care enough to bother you much despite the fact that this type of person is common. A girl who has a problem with you, if she's mean enough, will smile quietly, fingering the knife behind her back. She'll pretend she likes you, while whispering little things to people, who will whisper them to people you know. And those things will get worse and worse. She'll let you trust her, all the while waiting for the moment to come where she can ruin you without ever letting you know it was her.

I know this because my sister is like that, and I've seen her do it to most of her former boyfriends.

 

The following statement is ALMOST a joke

Guys will talk trash about you right to your face but dont really gossip

Girls are sweet up close but will backstab and gossip HARD

That was a joke