First Crushes?

Re: First Crushes??

Long, humiliating, unrequited, and ongoing.


Obviously it hasn't been going well.

Unless you mean on someone who is gay/bisexual. I'll let you know. Haha

 

It was on the pastor's kid. "Nuff said. :lol:

Lasting. Three. Years.

 

Not that I knew what it was, but it was while I was in high school - he was a senior, I was a freshman. Only lasted a year, needless to say. I never understood why I was so upset he had a girlfriend lol, but he was pretty nice to me (we knew each other). I never said anything about it to anyone though.

 

Excluding celebrities, I've only had two same-sex crushes in my life.

The first of the two was on a guy who taught me so much about being gay. Well, he didn't teach me, but I thought he was just a groovy role model. He also helped me through some emotional crap I was going through at the time. I still don't know if I genuinely liked him like that, or if I was just that he was the first person I was able to open up about being gay (and loads of other things) with. I got over him pretty quickly.

The second one was far worse. It was on a friend. He was inspiring, nice, and he just got me in a way that few people seem to. To this day I still think I have feelings for him. I know it will never be, so I'll suffer in silence and let him enjoy life - sans moi and my issues.

I had another (quite brief) crush on a guy from work once, but it was not as serious as the other two, so I don't count it.

But it's one of those things that fills me with this wonderful feeling that makes everything seem so much better. Crushes make me feel so creative and inspired. It's so hard to explain in words. The feeling you get (at least the one I get) is like when you slip on something, but don't fall. You know how you get that jolt of tingly goodness up your spine? Crushing on someone is like that, but in your brain. It's stellar.

However; I've discovered that crushes are a lot like gas. You can hold them in, wait for them to fade away to deal with later, and occasionally something embarrassing slips out before you can catch it.

Of course you could also just let loose and throw it all out there, like some people do. With crushes, I mean.

 

First big same sex crush for me started when I was about 15ish (he was 17, I think), and lasted oh I'd say a solid year and a half. It was pretty silly in hindsight. The guy was a bit of an asshole, but somehow I didn't see it. xD

 

My first crush, as far as I can remember was on a girl in my 2nd Grade class. I remember being infatuated with her, and I'd do whatever I could to help her... I'd pick up things she dropped, I'd run to the closets after class to hand her her folder, and she'd thank me. It pains me to admit this, but once I drew an underwater scene, and I used the seaweed to spell things out, including her name (>///<) I was a dork, I know. We were supposed to be classmates the next year, too, but that didn't happen. I was heartbroken... I actually ran into her a few years later while trick-or-treating. I didn't recognise her, but she came up to me and asked how I was and such. I wish I wasn't too shy to hold a conversation so we could have talked more... but I never saw her again after that.

 

My major in JROTC in highschool when I was a freshman...I really don't think i understood what it was but, I would have done anything to be near him...I signed up for a 10mile mountain trail just because he was going to be there >.>...I was chubby and he was in pretty good shape...so by the end of 9th grade I almost had lost 40lbs to impress him...No idea where he is now...and it never went anywhere...I wasn't even his friend...but, I'll never forget him....Unless you count like little kid crushes...then it was my best friend in fourth grade...was sooooo mad when he got a girlfriend and spent more time with her then me.

 

It was hard, but it was around that time that I finally reached acceptance about being gay.
It didn't help that at my high school, we had all our classes with the same group, so I had to see him (and his girlfriend, ugh) everyday for seven straight hours.

 

Re: First Crushes??

Word.

Fell in love with the foreign exchange student. It was sad, to say the least. Tried pleasing this girl with all the time I had, only to be disappointed in the end. Needless to say, I still feel a little bitter about it. I know it's not her fault that she felt no attraction towards me at all, no matter how hard I tried. But sometimes, I can't help but think negatively about her. We still keep in contact though. It took two and a half years to get over this chick though :dry:

 

Hum, it was a guy, I was 16 he was 15. He was the worse homophobic looser ever; kleptomaniac, wanted to be a rock-star, liar, and he wanted a trophy woman.

He also happened to be there when things went real bad at my parent's place and it's with him that I gave up my college and moved away from that. He was a friend to me and had a reallly sexy butt.

I'm glad I went to the bottom of that story to know how bad of a choice he actually was.

 

Terrifying and amazing and hurtful all rolled into one.
I've been in love with my best friend for years... But she has a boyfriend, and they're my other best friend. I could never hurt her or him like that.

She has kissed me though

 

Pretty much awful. We both liked each other but I was totally oblivious to the fact and we never did anything about it even though I have since been told he was 'throwing himself' on me. After about a year and a half he stopped talking to me, moved schools and I've seen him about 5 times since then. It made me pretty majorly depressed for about 2 years, and I only recently got over it. (pathetic, right?)

 

I've never had an actual crush on someone of the same sex... There is one guy, though, who I get along with sooo well, and if he was gay and wanted to date I probably would. But I don't think I'm crushing on him, I don't think about him all the time or feel bad because he's in a straight relationship...
I might of had a crush on a girl, though! I'm lost as to how the hell I'd know whether I'm crushing or not.

King x

 

I agree with King, about not knowing whether or not I'm crushing or not, but I think one crush I had.. I'm certain about XD

We hadnt met, but were always talking loads like in the middle of the night, cam chats, on the phone, texting conversations. Was really insane, because I liked her so much. Always really excited to see her name when she texted and she was always saying sweet things when we talked, just made my heaaaaart race. As cheesy as it sounds.:icon_wink That wasnt that long ago to be fair, sometime in October last year.

It was really nice and loads exciting. But hurtful too because she sort of changed overtime. She knew how much I liked her, but was always talking about girls she had dated and was dating and how she likes this guy.. or another girl =|

Since then, I've noticed loads of girls which has made me think about myself. So some good, some bad

 

When I was little, like around 5 I had a crush on Hercules Not sure if that counts though. I've never had a big gay crush though. I've had small ones though.

 

I had a few small crushes throughout the years, but the very first girl I ever really really liked, was my best friend ever, who was also bisexual, her name was Dani, and we would call each other soulmates. She was my entire world for awhile, I met her in the summer going into 8th grade and we came to an end my summer going into sophomore year. We are on okay terms but we're like strangers now.
It's really sad, like even now I think back on her and miss her, she really was the important person in my life for awhile, and we just couldn't make it through a really rough patch.
But I remember I was crushing on her from the moment I met her, it was spectacular.

 

Re: First Crushes??

That just about sums it up for me, too. Except the person was gay and still not interested.

 

you know you're crushing because you can't stop thinking about them, and if you miss seeing them even once it feels like all the light and joy went out of the world for that hour, and when you see them again, it's like the most brilliant rainbow basking in a warm beam of sunlight after a dark storm...

yes. I am currently crushing. I know I've had crushes prior to this, but they were nowhere near as intense, and I was in repression mode back then so maybe that's why. But now that I'm just allowing myself to feel what I feel, it's obvious. I'd do anything for her. I keep wanting to get her little gifts or write her little love notes, and I have a hard time keeping my eyes to myself. she's the most beautiful woman I've ever known.

and yes. yes. I might just be a bit of a sap. oh well. lol

 

It was with my former best friend and it was a bit painful and embarrassing. It kind of broke me heart. I think I was in love with her, I think I still may be and I haven't seen her in a year.