What Makes Your Heart Sink?

had that:

when the planes hit the buildings
during the japanese tsunami
during the boxing day tsunami

so i guess disasters do it for me

 

Oh yes, when I'm really down and someone says something unintentionally hurtful, or forgets about me, ignores me in a conversation. My whole body feels the chills too.

Sometimes, even when I feel really good and awesome, mom complains about our financial difficulties on the phone with someone, and I suddenly lose all inspirations. I feel crushed under the pressure of responsibility she unknowingly creates.

Or when I hear about the loss of someone close to me, or when I realize something was stolen from me. xD

 

I know that this is a rather common reason to a lot of people but illness and early death. Whether I know them or not, whether they make my life more difficult or not, who ever they are and what they might have done to me, I can't stand the thought of it... I'm seriously crying by posting this and I'm not even thinking about anyone

 

I had that feeling right after the recent major storm hit my house. There was a ton of damage. 99% of my town was w/o power...

I also get that feeling when I'm not looking forward to doing something.

 

Thunder. It's terrifying. That and just the usual seeing-him-with-someone-else type stuff. :tantrum:

 

I'm sleepy right now. And when I'm sleepy, I think depressing thoughts. It's one of the reasons I hate to have to go to sleep at night. Naps are Ok because they just happen. But sleep is usually deliberate.

I often tell people that I'm making a deliberate effort these days to be more outgoing because, a few years ago, I had this fear that I could go on the rest of my life just sitting at home all by myself. Just going home after work and having no one to talk to. No one to do things with. Because, after high school, after college, and after my first job, I never really had any friends that just stuck. I was pretty much a loner who kept to myself. I thought I was Ok with that, but at some point, I just suddenly because depressed about it.

For the last 2 years, things have really been different. I've been meeting a lot of new people. I've been finding new things I enjoy doing. And, in the last 2 months, I started meeting up with a pretty cool group of people every other week. These days, I just feel like part of their circle, which is something that's never really happened to me before.

At the back of my mind though, I have this fear that this isn't real and it isn't going to last. Because this sudden change in my approach to relating to people now runs contrary to pretty much everything that has come before.

Thing is, I'm happy with the way things are now. But, sometimes, I have this paralyzing thought like "This isn't really who you are. You're just fooling yourself into thinking you can get along well with others. And, in the end, you're going to end up alone again." It's a thought that makes my blood run cold.

That was pretty personal. But like I said, when this thread came up, it was actually on my mind at the very moment because I'm getting sleepy again.

 

Whenever my boss calls my name I get that feeling. Her office is off to the side, around a corner, and I can't see into it from my desk. So I never know what fresh hell she's prepared for me until I get there. It literally feels like I'm walking into a cave filled with a dangerous wild animal or something. The last time my heart truly sank though was when I accidentally dropped my brand-new Michael Kors watch on a hardwood floor. It was alright in the end though, so no big deal...

 

On a lighter note, and going along with Kidd's work-related response, my blood also runs cold when I'm at work and the caller ID's last 4 numbers are 1546.

Then I know I'm in for 30-45 minutes of listening to one of our resident's guardians whining and soap box preaching.

 

My veins freeze to shards of ice when I think of my Dad. It's a very complicated relationship. I think he loves me, but doesn't WANT me. I know my younger brothers don't understand. My Dad's parents don't understand. My friends don't. It makes my heart drop to my feet beacause I love my dad and I wish he wanted me. I wish people could relate to me, but my Dad is the person who has caused me the most pain in my whole life. My veins freeze, my heart drops, and my chest feels hollow and caved in.

 

Okay so first to answer the heart sinking question: The future of my life makes my heart sink. Scared yet excited about graduating and getting out into the real world.

And in terms of how this is a biological response. If I recall correctly I think the heart sinking feeling has to do with adrenaline being produced, causing your blood to flow faster, breath heavier, and you enter a trance of Fight or Flight. You're in a state of readiness. I think that's the kind of feeling you get. Heart beating faster etc,. I might be wrong though.

 

I just got so disheartened after reading a "debate" about atheism, science and religions. I'm sure there are intelligent and religious people out there, but the one I see defending religions are either very clueless about science or downright ignorant...

 

I feel that way when I hear people make homophobic remarks. So I pretty much get that feeling at least once a day since my dad is constantly saying hateful things like that. It gets so frustrating and tiring.

 

Hearing about someone dying in their late teens really gets to me.

 

Looking in the mirror.
When someone makes a bigoted comment at work. (This happens often all day long, and I can't respond for now because they'll ask questions I'm not ready to answer to them yet.)
Those few moments after I've gone to bed where I can't escape my sad thoughts.
When people use aggression to 'solve' problems rather than trying to talk it out.
Making eye contact with anyone.
Large disasters that hurt or cause problems for many.
When George W. Bush was elected and elected again. (See: Large Disasters.)

 

When bad things happen to good people. When really bad things happen to bad people.

 

During the school year, when my Dad calls my brother. My brother has an atrocious track record with work, so it's almost always to yell at him for not handing in any work for a month.

It always makes me feel awful because I know immediately after they're done talking my dad is going to check on me and if everything in my room isn't perfect I'll get some talk about not working as well.

 

When someone says they love me Then abandones me