"Lifestyle choices" - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

Night Rain · 18th Jul 2012, 12:13 PM

Or sometimes just "lifestyle". Are you sick of hearing it? I just read a bunch of articles and those words kept popping up, to the point that every time I saw one, I'd immediately dismiss the poster as an ill-informed individual, and have a good laugh, then feel sad because there were so many of them.

LailaForbidden · 18th Jul 2012, 12:20 PM

In a word, yes. It drives me insane. I just feel like screaming "it not a lifestyle choice! its not a choice at all! Or even a lifestyle. Its just who I am"

Spatula · 18th Jul 2012, 01:32 PM

Even if it were a choice it wouldn't matter. Consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want, so long as no one is getting hurt. Straight people sometimes choose to marry without having kids. It isn't suddenly immoral, just because it's a choice on their part.

The only objection to homosexuality is based on religion, and it has nothing to do with whether it's biologically programmed or not.

These people are not going to be convinced by the biological argument. They're the ones that often equate homosexuality to pedophilia, saying that even though pedophilia is programmed it isn't automatically acceptable, therefore homosexuality shouldn't be either. These were the people 50 years ago that didn't care if you were born black--they still considered it inferior. We need to fight these based on the idea of civil rights and equal protections for all human beings.

Black Cat · 18th Jul 2012, 01:42 PM

I detest the phrase "gay lifestyle". I had one person inform me that she was okay with it (it being my gayness) because it was "my choice".

I told her a lifestyle choice is buying curtains for your bedroom, not having sex with another man.

Silvails52 · 18th Jul 2012, 02:19 PM

I was talking with my parents about gays (they don't know) and they said that they disapprove of the "Gay lifestyle." They said that they believe homosexuality isn't a choice, but that pursuing those feelings is sinful and immoral.

Caoimhe Fayre · 18th Jul 2012, 02:22 PM

a more angry me would say: who are we to judge someone for being stupid? if that's their lifestyle, it's their choice, right?

but instead, I like to turn the tables in a slightly kinder yet still just as challenging way:

Well, I mean, you're right - and I don't judge straight people, either. I mean, who am I to judge someone for being straight? If that's their lifestyle, well, it's their choice, right?

---------- Post added 18th Jul 2012 at 01:24 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by dragon567

I was talking with my parents about gays (they don't know) and they said that they disapprove of the "Gay lifestyle." They said that they believe homosexuality isn't a choice, but that pursuing those feelings is sinful and immoral.

*hugs*

I have heard the same, frequently. But why would God give us feelings and then require that we don't pursue them?

it's rough when it's coming from your family.

Lovely · 18th Jul 2012, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black Cat

I detest the phrase "gay lifestyle". I had one person inform me that she was okay with it (it being my gayness) because it was "my choice".

I told her a lifestyle choice is buying curtains for your bedroom, not having sex with another man.

This. Even when people mean well I am extremely offended by one's word choice of "gay lifestyle." No such thing exists -.- ...

Peanuts · 18th Jul 2012, 02:48 PM

I had a discussion about this with my cousin-in-law. She couldn't wrap her head around the "gay lifestyle". I told her that it didn't make sense for people to choose to be gay, because they were taking a harder path in life, to which she replied, "I know! So why would you choose to be gay?"

I guess some people really just can't understand it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dragon567

They said that they believe homosexuality isn't a choice, but that pursuing those feelings is sinful and immoral.

Ugh. The Catholic Church's view is basically this. I really dislike the fact that it says we have no choice in an important part of living life, which involves relationships, love and intimacy. Instead, we're supposed to remain celibate and not act out on our feelings.

At least laypeople have a choice to become laypeople, therefore remaining celibate, but people who are LGBTQ don't. /frustration

SkyDiver · 18th Jul 2012, 03:06 PM

A gay "lifestyle" implies that every gay person lives the same way. Which is clearly not the case. It's really ignorant and annoying.

**thecat06** · 18th Jul 2012, 03:08 PM

I hate this... I see this on facebook a lot. Many people that I am no longer friends IRL with (but I haven't deleted them yet.. ) post about gay people making a "lifestyle choice".

I don't understand why people would think that I chose to be gay. It makes complete since that I chose a harder path in life.(sarcasm)

secretgirlX · 18th Jul 2012, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black Cat

I detest the phrase "gay lifestyle". I had one person inform me that she was okay with it (it being my gayness) because it was "my choice".

One of my friends told me this too, which really pissed me off. Straight people don't "choose" to be straight, same as any other sexuality isn't "chosen" by the person.

Silvails52 · 18th Jul 2012, 06:52 PM

Yeah. I try to ignore their views. I can't change it, but I live with it. One more month!

awesomeyodais · 18th Jul 2012, 07:22 PM

Ugh

Not a fan of that particular expression at all.

One more that I've heard from time to time is "preference", and when it's someone I can have a civilized conversation with, I'll calmly go into details about the fact that yes for some bi/pan people who may be attracted in some way to both sexes it can be referred to as preference but for "full-on gays" like me it's not something I choose. Part of it is education, and in recent times people looked like they were trying to use that word in a respectful manner without knowing it's a bit wrong

.

Night Rain · 18th Jul 2012, 11:35 PM

Most of the time, it is used in some sentences like "why do we have to conform to your lifestyles choice?" or "it's your lifestyle choice, although we don't agree to it, but we respect you". It's the same laughable shit as "we hate you and want you to stay away from us, an die if possible, but apparently it's discriminatory to say so, so we just pretend to be civilized and say that we respect you, which we don't".

And yeah, why did I choose to be discriminated, to be denied of my rights and to be treated like some kind of abomination? These people don't have a clue what they're talking about.

Hypnotico · 19th Jul 2012, 02:17 AM

Thank you!! It's the most annoying thing ever! Choices, choices, choices, it's not an effin' choice!!!

Yes, I'm mad

19th Jul 2012, 05:50 AM

I'm not worried about it. I don't have anything to prove to people who think it's a lifestyle choice. The only time it'd piss me off would be if a family member said it was a lifestyle choice, because I spent so much time worrying and stressing and not telling them that they'd make it feel less then it is.

King x

SunSparks · 19th Jul 2012, 11:45 AM

ARGGGH! I don't approve of using the word, there are a lot of thing implied by it, as the people above have described. I feel like if they use the word because they don't understand, I would just try to explain why its wrong. However if they use the word because they truly believe it, then I don't bother because, like King said, it doesn't change anything. Its only their perception and it really doesnt matter what they think if they are too ignorant to try to understand.

TraceElement · 19th Jul 2012, 03:50 PM

It's silly. It's like saying I live the "drunk lifestyle" or "party lifestyle"... both of which aren't generally aren't used.

Revan · 19th Jul 2012, 04:27 PM

You know what a "lifestyle" is? Choosing to like Twilight

musikk021 · 19th Jul 2012, 04:56 PM

Yes, I hate it when people call it a "lifestyle" or "lifestyle choice." It's like they just have to find some way to explain it so that it makes sense to them. It's not a "way of life"...it's just love!

I mean, would you call homelessness a "lifestyle"???

18th Jul 2012, 12:13 PM	#1
Night Rain I'M CRAZY!! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some Location: I'm Asian. Age: 21 Posts: 1,149 Join Date: Jun 2012 Tournaments Won: 1	"Lifestyle choices" Or sometimes just "lifestyle". Are you sick of hearing it? I just read a bunch of articles and those words kept popping up, to the point that every time I saw one, I'd immediately dismiss the poster as an ill-informed individual, and have a good laugh, then feel sad because there were so many of them.

18th Jul 2012, 12:20 PM	#2
LailaForbidden Bisexual In A Gay-Shaped Closet Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: family and a few friends as some degree of gay Location: Chicago, IL Age: 17 Posts: 631 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: "Lifestyle choices" In a word, yes. It drives me insane. I just feel like screaming "it not a lifestyle choice! its not a choice at all! Or even a lifestyle. Its just who I am" __________________ “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Rumi "Happiness can exist only in acceptance." - George Orwell “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us” ― Pablo Neruda

18th Jul 2012, 01:32 PM	#3
Spatula Clever girl.... Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Chapel Hill, NC Age: 26 Posts: 385 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: "Lifestyle choices" Even if it were a choice it wouldn't matter. Consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want, so long as no one is getting hurt. Straight people sometimes choose to marry without having kids. It isn't suddenly immoral, just because it's a choice on their part. The only objection to homosexuality is based on religion, and it has nothing to do with whether it's biologically programmed or not. These people are not going to be convinced by the biological argument. They're the ones that often equate homosexuality to pedophilia, saying that even though pedophilia is programmed it isn't automatically acceptable, therefore homosexuality shouldn't be either. These were the people 50 years ago that didn't care if you were born black--they still considered it inferior. We need to fight these based on the idea of civil rights and equal protections for all human beings. Last edited by Spatula; 18th Jul 2012 at 01:38 PM..

18th Jul 2012, 01:42 PM	#4
Black Cat Ever The Consummate Gentleman... Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: This cat is out of the bag - I mean closet Location: Pennsylvania Age: 22 Posts: 2,984 Join Date: Jun 2009	Re: "Lifestyle choices" I detest the phrase "gay lifestyle". I had one person inform me that she was okay with it (it being my gayness) because it was "my choice". I told her a lifestyle choice is buying curtains for your bedroom, not having sex with another man. __________________ "Your life is an occasion. Rise to it." - Mr. Magorium

18th Jul 2012, 02:19 PM	#5
Silvails52 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay. No question about it now! Out Status: totally out now! Location: Ithaca, NY Age: 19 Posts: 409 Join Date: Jun 2012	Re: "Lifestyle choices" I was talking with my parents about gays (they don't know) and they said that they disapprove of the "Gay lifestyle." They said that they believe homosexuality isn't a choice, but that pursuing those feelings is sinful and immoral. __________________ You love who you love. Simple as that.

18th Jul 2012, 03:06 PM	#9
SkyDiver ภูมิใจที่ได้เป็นเกย์ Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Alberta Posts: 1,758 Join Date: Mar 2012 Tournaments Won: 3	Re: "Lifestyle choices" A gay "lifestyle" implies that every gay person lives the same way. Which is clearly not the case. It's really ignorant and annoying.

18th Jul 2012, 03:08 PM	#10
thecat06 Let the journey of life continue! EC Moderator Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! (Homoromantic Demisexual) Out Status: Out as pan to most, out as gay completely Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 20 Posts: 7,029 Join Date: Jun 2011 Tournaments Won: 9	Re: "Lifestyle choices" I hate this... I see this on facebook a lot. Many people that I am no longer friends IRL with (but I haven't deleted them yet.. ) post about gay people making a "lifestyle choice". I don't understand why people would think that I chose to be gay. It makes complete since that I chose a harder path in life.(sarcasm) __________________ The tide of history only advances when people make themselves fully visible. -Anderson Cooper

18th Jul 2012, 06:52 PM	#12
Silvails52 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay. No question about it now! Out Status: totally out now! Location: Ithaca, NY Age: 19 Posts: 409 Join Date: Jun 2012	Re: "Lifestyle choices" Yeah. I try to ignore their views. I can't change it, but I live with it. One more month! __________________ You love who you love. Simple as that.

18th Jul 2012, 07:22 PM	#13
awesomeyodais Figuring it out one day at a time Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: 14 down, bunch more to go ;) Location: Soon-to-be-frozen again White North :-( Posts: 292 Join Date: Jun 2012	Re: "Lifestyle choices" Ugh Not a fan of that particular expression at all. One more that I've heard from time to time is "preference", and when it's someone I can have a civilized conversation with, I'll calmly go into details about the fact that yes for some bi/pan people who may be attracted in some way to both sexes it can be referred to as preference but for "full-on gays" like me it's not something I choose. Part of it is education, and in recent times people looked like they were trying to use that word in a respectful manner without knowing it's a bit wrong . __________________ “We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” - Dr. Seuss

18th Jul 2012, 11:35 PM	#14
Night Rain I'M CRAZY!! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some Location: I'm Asian. Age: 21 Posts: 1,149 Join Date: Jun 2012 Tournaments Won: 1	Re: "Lifestyle choices" Most of the time, it is used in some sentences like "why do we have to conform to your lifestyles choice?" or "it's your lifestyle choice, although we don't agree to it, but we respect you". It's the same laughable shit as "we hate you and want you to stay away from us, an die if possible, but apparently it's discriminatory to say so, so we just pretend to be civilized and say that we respect you, which we don't". And yeah, why did I choose to be discriminated, to be denied of my rights and to be treated like some kind of abomination? These people don't have a clue what they're talking about.

19th Jul 2012, 02:17 AM	#15
Hypnotico Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Location: Mexico- Currently going to college in Texas, U.S. Age: 22 Posts: 71 Join Date: Jul 2012	Re: "Lifestyle choices" Thank you!! It's the most annoying thing ever! Choices, choices, choices, it's not an effin' choice!!! Yes, I'm mad

19th Jul 2012, 05:50 AM	#16
King Guest Posts: n/a Tournaments Won: 15	Re: "Lifestyle choices" I'm not worried about it. I don't have anything to prove to people who think it's a lifestyle choice. The only time it'd piss me off would be if a family member said it was a lifestyle choice, because I spent so much time worrying and stressing and not telling them that they'd make it feel less then it is. King x

19th Jul 2012, 11:45 AM	#17
SunSparks The Naive One Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Open to all at Uni Location: upstate New York (For University) Age: 18 Posts: 1,176 Join Date: Jul 2012	Re: "Lifestyle choices" ARGGGH! I don't approve of using the word, there are a lot of thing implied by it, as the people above have described. I feel like if they use the word because they don't understand, I would just try to explain why its wrong. However if they use the word because they truly believe it, then I don't bother because, like King said, it doesn't change anything. Its only their perception and it really doesnt matter what they think if they are too ignorant to try to understand. __________________ If you want to see the sunshine, you have to weather the storm. ~Frank Lane

19th Jul 2012, 03:50 PM	#18
TraceElement TWLOHA Full Member Gender: girl-ish Orientation: Kinsey 4 Out Status: to most people who matter Location: Rochester, NY Age: 24 Posts: 616 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: "Lifestyle choices" It's silly. It's like saying I live the "drunk lifestyle" or "party lifestyle"... both of which aren't generally aren't used. __________________ Carpe Diem- Grabbing life by the balls, one day at a time.

19th Jul 2012, 04:27 PM	#19
Revan EC Addict Full Member Gender: Dick Orientation: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Windsor, Ontario Age: 25 Posts: 7,595 Join Date: Jun 2005	Re: "Lifestyle choices" You know what a "lifestyle" is? Choosing to like Twilight __________________ "Is there some reason my coffee isn't here? Has she died or something?" - Miranda Priestly. Strength is not defined by physical capacity, but by indomitable will. ~ Mahatma Gandhi Procrastination is like masturbation, in the end you just wind up screwing yourself.

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19th Jul 2012, 04:56 PM	#20
musikk021 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Gay Out Status: To one close gay friend & a couple acquaintances Location: California Age: 20 Posts: 517 Join Date: Mar 2012	Re: "Lifestyle choices" Yes, I hate it when people call it a "lifestyle" or "lifestyle choice." It's like they just have to find some way to explain it so that it makes sense to them. It's not a "way of life"...it's just love! I mean, would you call homelessness a "lifestyle"???