I keep having these repeated disscussions with my mother regarding dating. Whenever we come across some dating reality show or hear news of a failed relationship, the topic comes up. She keeps trying to give me advice about how women shouldn't be controlling, guys always need to take iniative, and how only the guy should provide, and how girls should appoach guys. I appreciate the advice and all, but the way she keeps framing it all into "girl" and "guy" roles doesn't really help in my situation and it sounds all just a bit too narrow. Now and again, I ask about how all this would apply to a homosexual relationship, and then she immediately drops the conversation, having nothing to say about it. With nothing to say on that subject, I have no real source of wisedom when comes to gay relationships. The question may seem kind of stupid, but are gay relationships at all that different from straight ones? What's the difference? Are there roles (like top and bottom), ettiquette, things expected from you, or can we just throw all that stuff out the window? Is there a proper way that gay relationships work, like how straight relationships are "suppose" to work? I'm really just wondering if anyone has dating advice for the few of us out there that don't go for the opposite sex.
So I've the experience of someone who's been dating a woman for half a year, so I'm not all that experienced really. But, while occasionally joking around about being "the man or the woman", the fact of the matter is that we are both chicks. There is no reason for anyone to be the "dominant" or "bottom" or anything like that, not even in a straight relationship. Or at least my straight friends don't do that.
I have even less experience, but from what I've seen, this is true. Actually, that's one advantage gay relationship have over straight ones -- it's that much easier to discard gender roles and build the relationship that works best for both people. Other than that, communication and boundaries are important in all relationships. People can't read each other's minds, and if your date is doing something you don't like (e.g. always shows up 5 minutes late), odds are she has no idea that you don't like it. Be respectful, but honest. Boundaries includes making sure the relationship progresses at a rate that is comfortable for both people and maintaining personal space and identity. For example, if your partner needs a certain amount of time to herself every day, respect that. These two concepts are closely related: communication is required in order to establish healthy boundaries. There's still a lot more to building a healthy relationship, but those are some of the basics.
Since everyone else listed their experience, I'll list mine. My shortest relationship was a week (but it was back in junior high) and my longest is the one I'm in now. I've been with my gf for a little under 5 years. This is all just my opinion and what has worked for me and others that I know in the past I don't think there is much of a big difference between homosexual and heterosexual relationships. What it all boils down to is a relationship between two people. Some people let gender roles, tradition, and whatnot determine how they will behave and what they will do but this can go for any sexual orientation. There are many aspects that are important in relationships and I'm only going to briefly touch on what I find to be the most important to me. Others may, and probably will, have a different list about what is important in relationships. Also, I'm not an expert whatsoever. I just have a lot of opinions. I'm just like everyone else and, as I said earlier, this is all just my opinion. Also, when I use the word "you", I'm not talking about anyone specific. I completely agree with Tetraquark about the importance of communication. If something is bothering you, you really need to talk to your partner about it. However, when you do talk to them about it, be respectful. It may be best to use "I" statements when discussing issues rather than "you" statements. Communication isn't just important during disagreements. Letting your partner know your needs, feelings, dreams/goals, etc. is a great thing. I also think that being yourself is important in a relationship. If you aren't being yourself then you aren't being genuine. Your partner should love you for who you are. If they can't then you shouldn't be with them and it is their loss. For the sake of brevity (although that ship may have sunk by now :lol: ) I'll keep the rest of my thoughts short and stick to the basics. The following things are what I would consider healthy in relationships: good communication, healthy boundaries, being respectful, a good listener, being honest, and being willing to compromise when appropriate.
nope. imo there are no differences, apart from the obvious there is no guy. my mum did ask me when i was in a relationship who was the guy, but there obv wasnt one. yeah i am the more submissive person generally, but that doesnt make me the 'woman' or anything. i would pull out her chair, that doesnt make me the guy i can hold doors, it doesnt make me a guy e.t.c some relationships one person can be more dominant, other relationships no one is more dominant. gay relationships work the same as straight ones there arent really any differences.
