Opinion on self labels?

[heaven]

So i was thinking what is the LGBT community opinion on labels? EX: gay, or labels put onto you by other people.

My opinion on labels its that putting a label on yourself may be hard but sometimes it helps to just sort of know who you are or what your feelings on a subject are. However I hate other people putting labels on me because the only way they would have the right to put a label on me is if they were me!!!

Just want your opinions!!!

I'm completely against labels. The way I see if my mind's a complicated F--'d up place and I wouldn't be able to put labels on it even if I wanted to. Really, I just do want sees like the best idea at the time. Deep down I know myself, but I feel no need to box myself in with constructs on what I should be like.

[Pret Allez]

I dislike labels, but I also like to be identified as something without having to explain myself. I see a label as a conversational starting point. Labels always carry baggage--I get that--but I like to be noticed.

[kitsune309]

I'm actually a big fan of self-applied labels. It helps you to understand yourself, and gives you stability, in my opinion. It also helps you realize your strengths and flaws. I am a Borderline. With that label, I know more about why I feel the way I feel, and how to deal with it in a healthy way. I am a lesbian. With that label, I feel more secure and confident about how I portray myself to the world. I'm a bottom butch. It makes me feel more like it's okay to be that way because a label exists for it and I'm not alone.

Never forget that the first step in AA is labeling yourself an alcoholic. You can't grow or get anywhere without knowing truthfully what you are to yourself.

[SunSparks]

There are a lot of ups and downs just like described above. Personally, what I label myself is my first name. Its unique enough that only on person out of thousands at my university has the same name. Like in high school, there's a lot you can associate with my name. I personally felt that labels were not the way to describe myself. I am nothing but myself. I would say that there are no labels other than my first name that could describe me. However, kitsune has a great point...

[fleetingwells]

I don't like labels myself. If anything, I prefer to just label myself as "Not straight" (see Orientation <----) However, it takes way too much time for me to explain what I am so I just go ahead and say that I'm gay but prefer no labels.

[heatqueen]

Most people who know me understand that I have a thing against labels. That said, I have started to realise that there is a necessity for generalisations and categories and such. I used to be quite long winded about describing how I feel about myself and my sexuality. However I soon realised that a lot of the time there is no real need to say anything more than the absolute basics of it.

Henceforth, to the general population I have decided recently to identify myself as bisexual, with the view that anyone who is important enough in my life will care enough to actually ask me for the specific details.

[solarcat]

People like labels because they're a way to understand other people. It's easier to say someone is gay than it is to say that someone is sexually intetrested in the same sex.

But labels don't always fit, and some people have different interpretations of what a particular term may mean. So while they may be used for convenience, they're not always foing to be totally accurate.

Even labeling yourself may have problems when you start to realise that you don't quite fit that label. So while it's a good idea to know and understand yourself, it may be best not to label yourself until you know just who you are.

[PurpleCrab]

Originally Posted by kitsune309

I'm actually a big fan of self-applied labels. It helps you to understand yourself, and gives you stability, in my opinion. It also helps you realize your strengths and flaws. I am a Borderline. With that label, I know more about why I feel the way I feel, and how to deal with it in a healthy way. I am a lesbian. With that label, I feel more secure and confident about how I portray myself to the world. I'm a bottom butch. It makes me feel more like it's okay to be that way because a label exists for it and I'm not alone.

Never forget that the first step in AA is labeling yourself an alcoholic. You can't grow or get anywhere without knowing truthfully what you are to yourself.

That's perfectly what I believe!
To add an image to that, imagine the inside of your head as a huge file warehouse, and, well, how do you find ONE idea, ONE person, in this hugeness? With properly sorted labels on top of each file box and on each drawer and on each file! There you go.

[Bobbgooduk]

I don't mind labels provided we realize that sometimes it's necessary to reclassify and change the label.

I'm also against the idea of people forcing others into a category for their own convenience - if we want to give ourselves a label - fine, but I don't want to be told by others that I am "this" and therefore I'm expected to behave in "this" way.

Sometimes we are too quick to label ourselves - we are very complicated and sometimes we fit into more than one category.

[Josh S]

I can understand why others don't like 'labels', though I don't have so much a problem with them myself. However a 'label' does sound explicitly like something that is applied to you by others so I'd rather think of them as 'identities', which sounds more self-applied.

Apart from that, I think the biggest issue with identities/labels is that most people think of them so rigidly. If, on the whole, society was more knowledgable or open about sexuality/gender/etc. then I would hope that people would be more comfortable applying these to themselves without feeling 'bound' to stick with a particular one if they begin to question again.

Personally, and going along with what others have said, it's been helpful in my questioning to try and figure out where I, roughly, fit. On some level, I know and am fine identifying as gay, but it's just a matter of trying to get more used to it. :P

[AmblingSam]

Labels don't mean anything. We make labels to make refrences to something.

For example, we label the thing with spots and 4 legs a 'cow'.

Someone labeled 'gay' is someone who is attracted to someone of the same gender. And I love being gay. :-)

[Black Cat]

Originally Posted by Bobbgooduk

I don't mind labels provided we realize that sometimes it's necessary to reclassify and change the label.

I'm also against the idea of people forcing others into a category for their own convenience - if we want to give ourselves a label - fine, but I don't want to be told by others that I am "this" and therefore I'm expected to behave in "this" way.

Sometimes we are too quick to label ourselves - we are very complicated and sometimes we fit into more than one category.

I couldn't agree more.

I'm fine with labels, but if you buy two different brands of Chicken Noodle Soup, then open up the cans when you return home, and one brand has carrots and the other doesn't, that doesn't mean that the brand without carrots is not still Chicken Noodle Soup. Sometimes labels aren't 100% applicable to every situation or person, because we are all so different.

[sanguine]

meh the real problem is when you tell someone you're gay and you worry too much about what they think of you.

Dont blame it on the label. I happen to like men and if that makes me gay then thats what I'll go by, if others like to associate that with stereotypes and myths they are free to do so, I've gone beyond the point of caring, thats probably a luxury I can afford because Im not in the closet.

[flyinhernikes]

idk..... people these days worry way to much about fitting into a label.
i dont label myself to an extent. although i am a 'lesbian' its not reeeeally my everyday label, my label is my name and thats that.

when i was 15 and under i rrrrreally wanted to fit into a label, i had to feel like i 'belonged' so i put a bunch of labels on me. but now i couldnt care less if i belong or not. i think thats the same for most kids though they feel like they have to label so they belong.


also, labelling yourself can get confusing.... why?
cuz there are so many variations of a label.

[JackWin]

I can not stand labels. Now having been bullied aggressively for the majority of my life and having labels put on me every day, I think that I am a little bit biased on this debate. I try not to even use them when talking about other people, and it pains me when people label their own social groups or circles at school or something. It just sounds like you want to be something you are not.

[Owen]

Originally Posted by kitsune309

I'm actually a big fan of self-applied labels. It helps you to understand yourself, and gives you stability, in my opinion.

That's how I feel about it, too. Labels allow us to succinctly communicate certain information about ourselves. The problem isn't labels themselves; it's when people think the categorization made possible by labels is the end-all-be-all way to view the world, when really, labels are a model, a simplification of the world and the people in it that can't capture the complexity of our reality but can at least make it easier to talk about.

Plus, I'd rather be able to say:
"I'm an androsexual, panromantic, male-assigned-at-birth, agender person."
Otherwise, I would need to explain what each of those terms means every time I want to describe myself to someone. That would look more like:
"I'm only interested in having sex with men, but I can fall in love with anyone, regardless of their sex or gender. Society labeled me as a "boy" when I was born, and though I feel no dysphoria about my physical body, I don't feel any kind of connection to my physical sex in relation to my own mental identity."

That last one was four times as long. Yuck.

[heaven]

So far there are 7 against labels, 6 in the middle, and 2 for labels.

[kitsune309]

Originally Posted by heaven

So far there are 7 against labels, 6 in the middle, and 2 for labels.

Actually, three of us are for them.

Originally Posted by PurpleCrab

To add an image to that, imagine the inside of your head as a huge file warehouse, and, well, how do you find ONE idea, ONE person, in this hugeness? With properly sorted labels on top of each file box and on each drawer and on each file! There you go.

I agree! However, I think that it's more like the warehouse is you, and it's got your name on it. Then it breaks it down into sections, which are broken down into aisles, which are broken down into cabinets, then drawers, then folders, then pages. And then you label each of those. And then rather than reading each page to people we meet, we tell them we have a large section solely devoted to our sexuality and what that section is called.

That's what a label is. A generalization about the parts of you you have. Not something that paints over the fine details of you, but something that puts those fine details in an order everyone can make sense of.

Originally Posted by Owen

That's how I feel about it, too. Labels allow us to succinctly communicate certain information about ourselves. The problem isn't labels themselves; it's when people think the categorization made possible by labels is the end-all-be-all way to view the world, when really, labels are a model, a simplification of the world and the people in it that can't capture the complexity of our reality but can at least make it easier to talk about.

Ahh, how right you say it. This is exactly my feeling.

[stuffiscool]

I see labels as useful communication, that is, if people stopped there. But they don't. They insist that labels are commitments and restrictions.

Fuck that, I can say I'm a lesbian and you can be as confused as you want about my sexuality.