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1 person for the rest of your life?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by chobbs, Jan 21, 2008.

  1. chobbs

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    do you see this happening?

    i don't know if i can do it (months at a time are hard enough for me).

    for those of you out there in committed relationships, how long has it been?
     
  2. Jeimuzu

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    I dream of it. I don't believe it'll happen, but it's what I want from life.
     
  3. chobbs

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    me too jeimuzu. for me, its a part of the fantasy of meeting the perfect guy.

    but realistically, that much time with one person?!
     
  4. bvtsjm116

    bvtsjm116 Guest

    I'd want one relationship my whole life... if we both really loved each other. I wouldn't want people for a short amount of time and then find a new person.
     
  5. chobbs

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    ideally, that's what i'd want, bvtsjm. however, from personal experience i don't know how that could happen.

    i guess i've just never been in love.
     
  6. Kovax14

    Kovax14 Guest

    You are 20, so you arent expected to be ready for a lifelong relationship...some people are never comfortable with one. I definitely hope to find that in my life, my boyfriend and I have been together 8 months and long lasting relationships are irreplaceable in my mind. I really want to have a loving stable relationship, along with at least 4 kids. I grew up in a large family myself and I have lesbian aunts with 4 children of their own, so I have had great role models in that respect. they have been together for 20 years and are completely devoted to one another (talk about breaking the stereotypes held by countless conservative americans)
     
  7. Paul_UK

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    Think of the present and the next few years, not your whole life. If you get a good few years then drift apart, well you have those years to remember. Markie and I have been together for 16 years so far, and I don't think either of us have ever said "this is it, we are together for life".

    I don't know if we will be together in another 5, 10, 15, whatever years. We probably will, but we may not.

    When you meet someone, enjoy your time with them and don't think too far into the future. Especially as you are still young.
     
  8. Martin

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    I hope so, but that could just be me living in a fantasy world again. :frowning2: I would never stay in a relationship, but i still hope i don't need to go through the breaking up process over and over.
     
  9. Ty

    Ty Guest

    I'd like that ~ but finding someone who likes me is gonna be a bitch...
     
  10. chobbs

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    right on, kovax. i was raised in a pretty close minded environment and i'm having to break through a lot of those stereotypes on a more personal level. maybe i'm just not ready, like you said.

    the longest relationship i was in was with a girl, for almost 2 years. with a guy, three months.

    paul - 15 years, wow! the reason i think i'm thinking into the future like this is because i see people get married all the time (hetero couples), and that people can make that commitment really blows my mind. of course, there is something to be said about the divorce rate...
     
  11. Jeimuzu

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    I'm desperate to find someone who wants an actual relationship. A relationship to me is a proper long term thing, though. I wish I could do this normally, y'know? I want to just stumble across a guy, think "You're cute," and get chatting. I'd then find out he's gay, and we'd gravitate towards a proper relationship from there.
     
  12. Alexander

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    I would love to be in a long term relationship. I don't think I could stand having a lot of short ones, but everyone has to do that until they find the perfect person.
     
  13. chobbs

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    i hear you jeimuzu. i recently came out to one of my openly gay coworkers and was like "dude, i need to meet your friends." the kid is dreamy, but he's got a boyfriend, which is why i went for the friends. he invited me to a party next weekend, we'll see how that goes...

    meeting guys is way hard, especially if you don't really like the local gay bar scene.

    ugh, i have to start getting ready for work now
     
  14. Paul_UK

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    As you get more comfortable with being gay, and it becomes a part of you rather than something that seems to dominate, the idea of a long-term relationship becomes more natural. It does take some time for being gay to seem as natural to you as being straight is to others. It also depends on your environment and those around you.

    So although the idea of such a commitment with another man for you now may seem more difficult to accept than a similar commitment between a man and a woman now, it will seem more natural in the future (perhaps once you are fully out and have family and friends that accept you as you are).

    One of the gay guys I work with is 22 and has been with his partner (who is 30 in a few weeks) for about 4 years. They are planning their civil partnership next year, and are doing the full big event just like a straight wedding. My work colleague is one of those people who has always known and has never been in the closet so I guess he's some way ahead of you. But it's further proof that it can happen.

    EDIT: this is moving quick - that was in answer to #10!
     
  15. vinylsoda89

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    i don't think it can't happen, just that it doesn't usually. Not like in the movies or in a Danielle Steele novel. Not like everything is roses and sunday mornings sleeping in and sharing soft pretzels in some big park. Its not like that. Everything has a certain give and take to it, there's a compromise for everything and no one person is completely in love with you for you, not even your mom(sorry if some of your mom's have actually said this to you, i apologize).Don't hold out for the perfect ONE, make the one you're with the perfect one by agreeing not to hate little things they do. But i don't know, that takes a considerable amount of courage and maturity, the likes of which i know i don't have right now since the one that i have been with was most certainly not the ONE by any means. I still don't think it can never happen, just the idealized day-glow version of it doesn't happen.
    -Excuse me, i'm vaguely jaded haha-
     
  16. Nodnarb

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    I want to find 'the one' who I can spend the rest of my life with, and I hope it will happen, but sometimes I worry...
     
  17. Hmm I wouldn't be opposed to it, but I definitely wouldn't expect it for a long time after I started going out with the person.
     
  18. Blitzkrieg

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    I like to look at the relationships that we have in life as stepping stones, each of my past relationships (my longest being a year and a half) have taught me what I should really be looking for in a person, and unfortunately what I should avoid.. It seems like now days there are a lot of people who don't believe in committed relationships. I like to stay optimistic and hope that I can one day find love again.
     
  19. trumpetkid23

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    There was actually a very long article in Time magazine's most recent issue about this. It was written about the differences between gay and straight relationships. Statisically, gay relationships are much happier, but have a higher breakup rate than straight relationships. It's a GREAT article. You guys should check it out. It's written by a gay man too, so everything is pretty objective.
     
  20. kevinx519

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    id like to believe in one person forever, but sometimes it won't work out. as people have said, it takes a lot of work for a relationship to work, gay or straight. but, i think gay relationships tend to have to deal with a lot more issues. personally, i think ill be able to handle a long term relationship in the future. but im still young, its a time to learn. maybe in a couple years will i really start looking. and if it happens tomorrow or the next day or next year, then good. but its good to take things in stride.