Hi Now I go on and on... and well on about how I wanna be more social-able, have more than one friend and just basically get out more. But have numerous attempts over the years it basically boils down to one single thought "Maybe I'm not a people person" I say this because during any social situations or even down to basics of someone saying "Hi" or "How you doing?" it never goes more than me replying with a one word answer and then that's it. I can't carry a conversation or start one or anything. Other things that brought me to this thought was that I more happy and content in my own company or in the company of my family. I also hate being out in public on my own or will do my best to avoid social situations because of the whole awkwardness or everything like that that comes along with it. So feel free to put yours thoughts down
Maybe you aren't a people person. But that doesn't mean you should be completely antisocial. I'm sure it's not healthy by any sense of the word. Part of the reason these things seem so awkward and forced is because well... they are. You're going out with the intent of socializing, which is something you're not good at or comfortable with. I'm going to reiterate what I've mentioned in other threads and say you should put yourself not in social situations, but situations with other people present. Something like getting a job or going to school is a good start. You're surrounded by people, but there for a specific, personal reason (other than being social, so it doesn't feel as pressured on you), and you obviously have something in common to talk about (work, school). Before you know it you'll find more things to talk about. Or maybe you just won't click; it happens too. There's really no novel advice I have (I think) besides the obligatory "you've gotta just push your comfort zone" bit. You can do it in very small steps, and starting in places you're already comfortable with, but you aren't going to grow if you stay where you are, right? And I gotta ask, how many of those have been recent? (like since you started posting here about how you wanted to be more social)
I'm the same, I don't think it's not because I'm not a people person, but more so because I don't trust a lot of people. It's rare to find TRUE friends that stand by you no matter what.
I follow you. I have really bad anxiety and got really nervous with social interaction because of it. I am just so uncomfortable with myself that I let myself be uncomfortable around other people. More often than not I just find that I am a bit more content with myself than with other people. I tend to not be as insecure when I am by myself.
I'm the same as well. Sometimes I think it's because I'm not a people person, sometimes it's because I just feel like I'd much rather be on my own where I'm most comfortable. The thing is, I wish I were more sociable. A lot of my problems come from the fact I'm just not sociable enough. I try to deal with it by being with nature, literally. It's a good way to get out and do something outside while also being by yourself or with others you enjoy your company with. Walking at night relieves me of my issues
'scuse my grammar nazi moment here, but the correct word is unsocial... or "not social". Antisocial actually has to do with "being against society" and wanting to tear down the social structure. I blame Dr. Phil for instilling this into my head, as well as my English teacher who spent the entire class explaining it. XD ----- But who knows? There could be a very good chance that maybe you just AREN'T a people person. However, I think you should still make an attempt to go to some social events. As awkward as you may feel being with other people, it's a necessary skill that you're going to have to learn at some point. (^_^);
Thank you! I hate when people do that but I'm too lazy to go grammar Nazi on people. Also antisocial in the psychological sense refers to socially manipulative people. Thus, I can't *stand* when people call me antisocial because I avoid social interaction. It's nonsocial/unsocial, thanks!
Perhaps you aren't a people person, and to be honest, there's nothing wrong with that. If we were to get down to the reality of things, though, you're always going to be surrounded by people, and that's when you have to know how to appropriately interact with them. You don't necessarily have to like them, but you just need to know how to carry your way through a conversation or an extended social interaction. Personally, I like the incessant buzzing of my own thoughts and the presence of my own company. Quite frankly, if I didn't have to go out and get groceries, go to class, or finish whatever trivial chore/errand I have to do, people would probably never see me. Yet, we live in a world in which social interaction is an inherent part of our daily lives, so I just approach people with a positive attitude. You would be surprised with how far an upbeat tone of voice and a smile can affect peoples' reactions toward you. Or, you can even feign interest; I find that people love it when you appear invested in their lives. Though, I recommend to use the last suggestion sparingly because some people have really good BS meters.
Gazza! Hi! Can you remember learning to ride a bike or to skate? Or even drive a car? Swim? I can remember being terrified in case I took a fall, crashed into something or hurt myself. With the exception of skating (and I have the ice-skates ready for the next big freeze) I have mastered riding a bike, driving a car (love it) and swimming. None of these skills (and now pleasures) came without gritting my teetha and beginning the process. I was unduly reluctant to even begin: 1. I nearly drowned in the sea when I was a little boy - my brother rescued me and it took me until I was 32 to overcome the fear of water. I had lessons and can now dive, swim under water, skull, side-stroke, butterfly, front crawl, back crawl everything except breast-stroke. I love being in the water. 2.I still have very good fine-motore skills but less good in the gross-motor department. I was 13 before I could ride a bike without stabilizers because I just couldn't balance. Now I have no problem with cycling long distances. 3. I was involved in a motorbike acident with my brother when I was 10. We were hit by a car coming out of a side-street and my brother was badly injured. I got off without a scratch, but I was 30 before I could bring myself to have lessons to drive. I had 10 lessons of 1 hour, and passed my test first time and never looked back. I drive thousands of miles a year for work and pleasure. My point is, you have to learn social skills - we're not born with charm, humour and a sensitivity for other people. As I teacher, I have worked with children aged 4 and upwards and believe me, you can always spot the children who didn't go to pre-school or kindergarten. Socializing kids is as important as socializing a dog (no offence) but many parents don't realize this. You need to keep practising. It really will get easier the more you do it and the rewards will multiply exponentially. Keep forcing yourself a little bit. Choose who you speak to carefully - assess them before you make contact to reduce the risks of being ignored. Once you have "got it" you might always remain a little quieter than the others, or never be the life and soul of a party, but at least you won't have that gnawing fear of being a fish out of water. SOme of the "skills" you need to be a people person you can practise on EC - by engaging with people and discussing things actively rather than lurking. The fact that you have asked this question about yourself shows great promise. And please take that as a compliment and not as patronizing. It is meant sincerely.
Touché. Well, I know what the psychological meaning is, so I knew I wasn't using it that way, but I guess I learned something new today.
