scared to come out to parents

[gaystud22]

quite frankly i am scared to come out to my parents knowingly that they can kick me out of home and have nowhere to go but i really want to let them know any ideas on how this can be achieved?

[Bobbgooduk]

Do you have any reason to believe that they WOULD throw you out?

Homophobic attitudes, comments?

It is rare for parents to react SO drastically in my experience. You don't say how old you are - if you hold off telling them, how long would you have to wait until you were in a safe place (college, working away from home)?

[gaystud22]

well it is because of homophobic attitudes

[Bobbgooduk]

I think a lot of people have "attitudes" until they see someone close to them affected by it.

Why do you want to tell them? Honesty? Help them understand you better?

I'm not an expert - I was 40 when I told my mum - so I didn't have the same experience as you would have - I was already looking after myself, working, away from home etc. so I didn't have that fear hanging over me, just the fear of rejection.

Don't mind me asking the questions - I'm just trying to formulate some clear ideas in my head.

[thylvin]

what age are you, if you are older than say 18, then they might suspect it already.
In some cases parents suspect it at a younger age, but it all depends from person to person.

How far are you from completing school and /or college/university?
These factors also need to be factored in. My folks also made allot of homophobic comments, even though they and my sisters suspected I might be gay and even though my folks were friends with lesbians. But it also depend on the context the remarks are made. Most of the times folks make that kind of remark but don't really mean it. You know your folks better than we do, so without any other information you can share with us, the less likely we can help you better.

[Lewis]

I'm the same, my parents aren't homophobic, but I feel actual fear at the thought of telling them. It's like something I have kept to myself all of my life and telling them would be like opening a can of worms. Sorry if I'm no help, just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one.

[musikk021]

Originally Posted by Lewissss

I'm the same, my parents aren't homophobic, but I feel actual fear at the thought of telling them. It's like something I have kept to myself all of my life and telling them would be like opening a can of worms. Sorry if I'm no help, just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one.

Exactly. I feel the same. My parents aren't really homophobic, but my mom is very into Christianity. Even then, she loves watching Ellen and both my parents watch Modern Family with me and they don't mind the gay couple. But that doesn't make me want to tell them any more. I never share anything and it's been that way all my life, so I wouldn't even know how to bring it up.

I guess if there's really no pressing need for you to come out, then don't. Wait until you're really comfortable with the idea...or at least more comfortable and confident about it. Wait until they won't be able to kick you out (i.e. you're living on your own).

[AshenAngel]

WAYS TO COME OUT TO YOUR PARENTS: 1. Bake a rainbow cake that says "IM GAY" and feed it to them...2.Dress your dog/cat in a sweater that says "I <3 MY GAY OWNER" and wait for them to catch on...3. Write them a letter and mail it...4. Send them an e-mail...5. Text them I was having fun there and being creative, see? Aren't you proud?