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Looks..? Are you visual? lesbians? (and others)

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by mes1995, Aug 5, 2012.

  1. mes1995

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    ive always heard people say men are visual and women care about personality/money and all that, do you feel this applies to you? how concerned are you about looks with dating/ or having crushes..? or are you more about personality? or do you care about looks/personality equally?

    i admit i can be kinda shallow ive had huge crushes on girls that were total bitches but they were really cute so it didnt really matter to me lol :icon_redf
     
  2. Drakey

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    I find that most people really rely more on looks than personality. Sure once you get to know a person who may be lacking in looks you may fall in love with the personality. But most people are naturally shallow because that's how we're evolutionarily wired. We need to seek out the "best" mate because evolution dictates that we must find the best genes for reproduction.
     
  3. alexi12

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    I think personality comes first. Admittedly, it is harder to care as much about personality if they don't have better looks... but I think friendship is always the first step in anything serious.
     
  4. Crystal's Vaporeon

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    Truthfully Im that kind of girl who just couldnt bring herself to date someone 'ugly', but I guess my ugly differs to most, I think muscully guys ugly and would rather so chic with rainbow hair and to much make-up.
    But I also couldnt date an absolute jerk, I need someone who will actually make me feel loved yet still be someone I can hold and my arm and be proud of.
    So I guess I would be bout 50-50 for looks and personality.
     
  5. Drakey

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    oh well to answer the thread I focus a lot on personality. A hot body is all good and well but I'm not looking for a quick hookup x.x
     
  6. Bree

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    I'm attracted to very dominant personalities...I don't physically respond to anyone who isn't, and people who are don't need to be particularly good looking, though I like them to be reasonably athletically built. Women can be a bit heavier.
     
  7. AshenAngel

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    I say that appearance and character play fairly equal parts in whether I'm attracted to someone or not. I'm very picky about it though.
     
  8. Flow

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    I guess for me, looks is kinda what draws me in. However, if I do get to know a person for a period of time and didn't find them attractive at first, it can change. Looks aren't everything though. I found that out recently.. lol.
     
  9. samizer0313

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    I like personality more than looks. Honestly I would rather date some nice kid with a physical disability and not some hot jerk
     
  10. Bolin

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    I think it's natural for looks to be the first thing people notice, but for me, I was not physically attracted to my past 3 romantic interests until months after I'd started having feelings for them. It was kind of confusing since I felt a strong emotional attraction with them but didn't have the physical attraction until many months later. They were also people I would not notice physically on first sight, and two of them had physical traits I normally would be turned off to.
     
  11. Sartoris

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    Probably not the best person to ask as I'm terrible when it comes to making personal connections with people, but self-deprecation aside I think it's realistic to say that it's some mixture of the two. Afterall, it only makes sense that one wants to be both emotionally and physically attracted to a potential date/partner/etc.

    Honestly, the whole issue of physical attraction has been a big hurdle in my process of self-acceptance. Trying to acknowledge the difference between who I found attractive as opposed to who I feel attracted to. Not only the difference between what I feel about men or women, but also what kind of men I felt attracted to.

    In this regard, I don't think that being aware of others' looks necessarily makes you shallow, so long as you place importance on personality, as it's a way of knowing what your tastes are. I'm sure most of us have attractions toward non-traditional 'hotness?' (Haha.)
     
  12. LailaForbidden

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    Looks, probably. but if they have a rotten personality it kills any tender emotions i have of them. They're kinda related for me, i suppose.

    Okay, wait, i'm editing this. Personality has a huge impact on me. If someone is not too attractive but has an awesome personality and attitude, i'm like "omfg i looove you," but before i meet someone looks def draw me in, as a previous poster has said. So yeah... i'm not too shallow ^^
     
    #12 LailaForbidden, Aug 5, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2012
  13. prism

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    Looks are what initially attract me, but I stay for the personality.
    I could never stay with someone who had a personality I couldn't click with. A sense of humor is a major requirement. :thumbsup:
     
  14. aeva

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    I hate saying it, but looks are definitely a big part of my attraction to somebody, although it isn't necessarily that way from day one. As another poster mentioned, I tend to become much more physically attracted to somebody once I have developed an emotional attachment to them than I was at the outset of our relationship.

    Personality is definitely the biggest thing though. I would never date a girl that wasn't on the same page as me emotionally and psychologically, just because she was hot.
     
  15. NickD

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    So as a man, I admit looks fall into the equation. But they are like the bait that reels me in, so to speak. And what I'm attracted to physically varies quite a bit; a smile, eyes, how you carry yourself, etc.

    However, you could be an extremely hot guy, but if you are an ass or don't click emotionally, morally, and intellectually, then I'm done with you. Personality is definitely the most important to me, but physical attraction is physical attraction. I mean, there's a reason you're attracted to a certain person or type, isn't there?
     
  16. Pseudojim

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    i tend to like tall, svelte people.
     
  17. fleetingwells

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    Looks get my attention first, then I look for personality if they have it. However, it can also be that if they didn't get my attention the first time but their personality did, then that's good for me, too. I might seem shallow when I say this, but I agree with one of the posters above when they say they couldn't bring themselves to date someone who's ugly. My definition of 'ugly' though would probably vary but my definition of 'good looks' varies too and it's not so limited to just certain qualities.
     
    #17 fleetingwells, Aug 5, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2012
  18. Maddy

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    I tend to get Tumblr anons teling me nobody would ever be interested in someone who looks like me, so I find myself assuming other people focus a lot on looks.
     
  19. JackWin

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    I generally try to look at a persons personality and character more than their looks. I mainly don't look at someones looks as much because for the most part, thats the way someone is born. Yeah you can change your hair style or color, and yeah you can tan or stay pale like me, but as far as how your face looks; thats the way you are born. Since that is the case, there is not a whole lot you can do. Now, if someone is overweight (not by a medical condition but my lifestyle), not clean, unshaven, then we have a problem. Not that I have a thing against fat people or people with beards, to me it always looks like you don't care enough about how you present yourself. If you can at-least visually look like you care about yourself enough to look presentable, then I am attracted.

    Personality and character is where I really fall in love. I have met some people who are absolutely beautiful, but have some of the worst personalities EVER. Earlier while talking about looks I stated that it is how you are born, well a personality can change. It always pains me to hear someone say "that's just the way I am", No. That is the way you want to be. For example... I know a guy. A beautiful guy. But for some reason, he always needs to be right in any argument or discussion. So no matter what I say, he is right. This personality trait turns me off of a person. I told him that I would like him to try and change that, and he said that it was "just the way I am". So long story short, to me personality is what really makes you the person you are. If your personality is bad, or not one that I like, then I don't like you as a person all that much.
     
  20. FJ Cruiser

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    Looks are certainly a factor, sure, but there really does have to be an emotional attraction for me to be attracted to them. I can acknowledge when guys are really good looking, but I wait until I get to know them to really decide what the attraction is, and even then, I don't allow any feelings to develop because there's a 99.9% chance they're straight. I'm actually turned off by jerks no matter how good looking they are.

    I suppose the guy that I've been involved with/crush on is not a guy that would strike most people as good looking on first sight. I think he's pretty dang cute, but it's his personality that really makes me crush on him hardcore.