Now, I don't mean the worst stuff like violence. I mean just little things that, with time, create a real gap between the lovers. To me, it's a toss up between; -The person has real anxiety issues and is CERTAIN that I cheat. -The person doesn't like themselves, therefore me loving them makes me a liar. -The person keeps misinterpreting everything I say and do in the worst way possible, which forces me to keep explaining myself and feel nervous around them. -Jealousy issues! Especially when it's not "cute" anymore, just plain bad. ..in all the cases, those relationships ended up in a dead end, probably at least partially because of those things. What about you? The most annoying things..
Inflexibility - all take and no give. I hate it wehn I feel that MY feelings etc are not of any importance.:eek:
Well Bobbgooduk, that's something I never went though and I'm rather glad it never happened to me that would be really annoying.
Your examples applied to the only relationship I have had with a girl, (aside for her being positive that I was cheating on her) She actually ended up cheating on me. She didn't even allow me the right to break up with her. I don't like worriers much either. That drives me nuts. She also refused to talk about issues we disagreed on. We spoke mainly over text message and anytime I brought up a subject she didn't like she said "Bye" and stopped responding to texts. Frustrating as heck. There was so much drama that followed her too. I don't handle drama well.
Lack of communication! And I can't say that one enough. Without open and honest and frequent communication...the relationship is going to suffer. Any relationship. Not just a romantic one. So yeah, I'm a stickler for communicating things with your partner, even if it might seem trivial.
Having to actually work for affection. Last bf we didn't have sex for um...14 months, oh we did foreplay three times in those 14 months, but other than that....yeah. And of course I could only get any form of affection (hugs even) if we went to my place, and even then that was few and far between -_-
idk. when im in a relationship i get to know the person super well beforehand. so just me thats the odd one out here lol. i hate it when you break up (not for the sadness'losing them part) but because you see the person for who they truely are and the person is like 'oh breaking your heart wasnt anything bad' erm ok owch. :\
I've never been in a relationship, but these are the things that would upset me. 1.Treating me like a male or expecting male behavior or attitudes, use of male pronouns. 2.Not being able to share her feelings with me. 3.Getting annoyed if I explain how I feel about something and why, which I usually do in an effort to be more clear and easily understood. 4.Lying to me, especially in regards to dating someone else. My views on relationship are flexible, I would like to date one person, but if approached about it honestly I might open up to the idea of polyamoury (Dating multiple people who are also dating each other), but never polygamy (One person dating multiple people who are not romanticaly linked.) If someone lied to me about a relationship I would probably leave and never speak to them again.
When your partner gives you a reason not to trust them. Still trying to figure out how to deal with it.
I've been with somebody who thinks like that and it ended up hitting a wall too... because no matter how hard you try, you just can't communicate exactly like the other one does (with the exact same meaning for all the expressions, examples, words, even), even with the best talents in communication.... communicating every single thing is meant to lead to some misunderstandings and lots of drama. My thoughts about this one is... sometimes it's better to let the idea rest in your head during the night and find the best words to say it; if you forget it that means it wasn't important. So much precious together time wasted on trying to understand each other on a bad word formulation when there's so many other much more pleasant things to be done.. like cuddling in silence for one! (*hug*)
I'm not saying that you necessarily have to say everything right then when you feel it. There's a place a time for emotions and feelings just like with anything else. And I'm not saying you need to be one of those overly emotional people who just have super feels about every little thing. No, that can just be dramatic. What I am saying, though, is that it is important to communicate. Everyone communicates differently. This I understand. I've experienced it. Even my own ways of communication have changed over the years, along with how much I actually do it. And that's why I'm a believer in the importance of such. I very much understand what you're saying and where you're coming from though. Sometimes you have to give it a few days or whatever. And there are times when it might just be better to let it go and hug your partner instead. But yeah..It's still something that's on my list.
"I don't care what you want to do. I don't care what we do today." Though sometimes I do the same thing.
Yeah, Romi, misunderstanding from my part :roflmao: You're quite right about communication being very important though. All types of communications are the thing that get people closer. And AmblingSam, :"I don't care what you want to do. I don't care what we do today." -" Ok then, let's do (..)!" -" Meh, don't feel like it." -"Fine, why don't we do (...) then?" -"again?" -"then what do YOU really want to do?" -"I don't know. Nothing?" Arrgggg
Dishonesty ruins it fastest. Any kind of relationship where someone is passive-aggressive, underhanded, or simply keeps things from me (and I don't mean in a "you're not allowed to have privacy" way) that affect me or us is pretty much doomed. I need to feel like I can trust my partner to be direct and bring up problems they're having in order to relax and feel secure.
'Do you wanna go out or stay in tonight' 'urmm i'm not bothered it's up to you' 'okay, we'll go out' 'You never want to spend time with me, you knew i didn't want to go out' Whattt the ****, why don't women just say what there really feeling it would make it easier.
