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Forever Alone? I am.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by MatthewJS, Aug 12, 2012.

  1. MatthewJS

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    "Tears falling :tears: " I don't get it! Most people date for looks. All those kind caring not attractive people don't get to date. I'm one of them! I don't want a boyfriend that is cute; a boy that is kind and caring also smart. I maybe attracted to cute boys but I barely want a cute boyfriend! Why do people go for looks?!
     
  2. Night Rain

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    You're still young. I think most of the people your age care more about looks. :slight_smile: Don't try too hard to get a boyfriend. Let it come naturally.
     
  3. MatthewJS

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    I'm still not getting a boyfriend in the future I'm ugly! Pimples, bushey eyebrows getting a unibrow, no muscles yellow teeth although I do brush my teeth I'm never getting a boyfriend
     
  4. Ben

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    If you like guys who aren't necessarily attractive, then I'm sure there are many others who think the same way. I've never known anyone too unattractive to ever find anyone.
    And then, of course, there are the people who constantly assert that they're unattractive, but clearly look absolutely fine as they are. In fact, I've never met anyone who keeps saying they're ugly and actually is ugly. : ) You're young, and one day you'll find someone and forget that you ever thought you would be forever alone!
     
  5. MatthewJS

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    If u guys were in my shoes, u would feel the sames
     
  6. Phantosmiac

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    I feel the same. I don't think I am attractive at all either.
     
  7. MatthewJS

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    Finally someone is with me!
     
  8. cscipio

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    Pimples - they go away
    bushey eyebrows getting a unibrow - manscape. I'd look like Spock if I didn't pluck weekly
    No muscles - Go to Bodybuilding.com, get a muscle development routine for free, eat quality food with plenty of protein and you'll be pointing to the beach in no time
    Yellow teeth - get some whitening toothpaste and hell....unless they're glowing in the dark, I doubt somebody would mind anyhow.

    Capitalize on your strengths, shore up the weaknesses. You'll do fine.
     
  9. blightedsight

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    This seems like a pity thread.
    I'm not going to pity you.

    You need to get over yourself a bit. You're not unbiased enough to genuinely assess how attractive you are.
    You're also young - you haven't finished growing, changing and becoming the man you are to be.
    Yes, that might mean you grow up and be unattractive physically, or at least you might not be what is considered conventionally attractive, but that doesn't mean you'll be unattractive to everyone.
    Thing is, if you're not interested in looks, then what are the chances in the whole world, or even in your own country/state, that you're the only one that thinks like that?

    I remember when I was your age(assuming you're like 13-16) and having the same attitude as you have now...lord knows I laugh at that person now.
    He was an idiot. Trust me. He thought that because he was overweight and not attractive, he'd always be alone, but when he went to college, things changed immediately. He became popular and, for most of his time until he was in his late 20's he was dating and in long and short term relationships.
    He also grew into me who, at 30, has a very handsome, intelligent, loving and happy boyfriend.
     
  10. people who are under 70 need to stop saying they are forever alone. they are not. even when you hit 70 you arent forever alone you still have plenty of time to find someone.

    im really not being rude, but if you go around thinking that then you probably wont get a boyfriend. and when you do pushing all your negativity onto someone when you get into a relationship isnt cool or healthy.

    "If u guys were in my shoes, u would feel the same"
    nothing we can/have said can make feel any better, because you seem to shoot people down. even if someone will say youre the most attractive person ever, you probably wouldnt believe it because of your mindset. you seem set on thinking youre not attractive.

    first learn to love yourself, then someone can love you.

    something i have learnt if you think negative, chances are outcomes are negative.
    if you think positive, more outcomes are positive.

    im not saying you have to think youre the best thing since sliced bread all im saying is learn to accept who you are and accept you cant change that, then you being comfortable in your skin will attract a lot more people im sure.

    someone who is adament they are ugly, is less likely to be approached/asked on a date because they have to be reassured most of the time and they are hard to compliment as they are certain youre wrong. yes you can get a relationship with your mindset it just takes a certain type of person. ive been there with a girl once, not good.

    everyone has been in your shoes once in their life, they get over it though.
    i was like that when i was 15. soon got over it though because it got me nowhere lol.
    this might seem harsh, but im not trying to be im just being honest and trying to help.
     
  11. secretguyX

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    You're NOT forever alone.

    I'm supposing you're close to my age. Yeah, plenty of people go for looks. But I know a bunch who go for personality too. You're not ugly. I used to think I was ugly too, and turns out a few people like me. You'll never see how great you really are, and you'll never think you're as attractive as some people may find you.

    But being confident is honestly the hottest thing a person could be. Thinking too low about yourself isn't attractive. So don't think so badly about yourself, and stop being negative.

    If you're not happy with your appearence, then change they things you don't like.
    Pimples : Go to a dermatologist, or even get over the counter medicine.
    Unibrow : I get my eyebrows threaded, but guys can pull of big eyebrows anyway.
    Muscles : First off, someone can be attractive without muscles. They're definitely not the most attractive thing. But work out, and eat healthy, including protein.
    Yellow Teeth : No one's teeth are perfectly white. But use some whitening strips/toothpaste if you're not happy.

    We're young, being in a relationship isn't necessary anyway, you don't need a boyfriend to be happy. But if you want someone, then believe you can get someone, and maybe you will.
     
  12. CupidBoy

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    Don't feel that way, everyone is beautiful to someone.

    You'll find a mate, you just have to make it happen and stay positive. :slight_smile:
     
  13. SunSparks

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    Doh! [​IMG] Everyone already said what I was going to say... But I guess I'll just summarize xD

    First of all, all the things you said you were ashamed of can be managed and 'fixed' if you really want to. Take care of your body and it will take care of you. I've been working on myself the past few years... its really paid off. I've had similar problems like yours. For skin, mines definitely much more bright and evenly toned. For eyebrows, I didn't have a unibrow problem but I still pluck it to keep it more neat. I never had problems with muscle because I tend to do some laborious work every so often and I've just always had some - just enough for me at least. My teeth quite the shade I wanted... I wouldn't say yellow but now its much more white (yay Crest!). If you try, you can easily change what you mentioned.

    And, I have to give you some advice... high school relationships hardly ever work out... when your out of high school, everyone goes off to different colleges. You have plenty of time to 'find' someone. If you feel so insecure about your looks, change them. I don't mean get plastic surgery or something, I mean take care of yourself better and eventually, your problems will fade away. Like everything, crying about it isn't going to do anything for you. But what will is action - take control of your life and get over your issues.

    You know, I have this quote I put on my desktop: "The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in." ~ Marie Schwartz. You not being able to love yourself blocks love from coming in. Embrace who you are and not only will you be okay if you are single but you will also be able to project love onto someone else.

    I really don't want to be mean, and I realize that somethings I've typed here seems like it is, but its the truth.
     
  14. Lexington

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    I was in your shoes. I was gay and unattractive at your age. In addition, I was doing it on the 1980s. :slight_smile: but even then, I didn't think I was "forever alone". I knew the odds were stacked against me, and that dating at that time wasn't likely. But I thought if I could get somewhere where there were a lot of gay guys, and I could have a chance to try to get to know them, then maybe I'd make some gay friends. And go on dates. And get laud. And get a boyfriend.

    I was right. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  15. Pseudojim

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    my widowed grandma got a boyfriend at the age of 77. He was 90 and a widower. She's now 81, he's 94. They are awesome.
     
  16. Chip

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    What you give energy to... will continue.

    If you continually put energy into the idea that no one will ever want you because you're ugly (which, btw, you are not), then you'll essentially create that reality.

    But if you put energy into the idea that you're a caring, wonderful, and beautiful soul, and that you are enough just as you are, then that energy will radiate from you, and will attract someone to love you.

    It seems clear you have some pretty low self-esteem. And that's fixable. But you have to want to fix it. :slight_smile: If you do, there are lots of ways to work on it.
     
  17. GreenRaven

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    In high school I thought I was fat, ugly, and didn't think anyone would like me. When I graduated I found out from several people who were signing my yearbook that they had always wanted to talk to me but were too scared to because I distanced myself from everyone, wallowing in my self-pity. Had I just admitted to myself that I am who I am, and there is ALWAYS someone who likes you/wants to know you a little better...I might have actually had friends. I even had a girl write me a letter confessing her crush on me right before I graduated.

    Granted I also was suffering from undiagnosed major depression and anxiety, so that really didn't help me feel better about myself, but it DOES get better.

    Life is too short to just sit there and wallow in your self-pity, but it's also too long to say you'll be alone forever. Even now, when I've gained 100lbs since high school, I thought no one could love me because I'm obese and still don't find myself attractive....I have a girlfriend who loves me more than anything, and she doesn't care how I look, she knows that I am a good person. If we weren't breaking up in a week because she's moving to Arizona (neither of us do long distance...and I still have a lot of maturing/growing up to do even at 24) she said there's always a chance to get back together. Because she loves me for who I am. So no, not everyone goes for looks. Sure a lot of teenagers do because they're stuck in this material world, but as you get older people start to realize that there are some people who are beautiful on the outside in the world who are just bastards, and then there are the the people who may not be attractive by the world's standards on the outside, but have the most beautiful inside the world has ever shown them. That's what my girlfriend has shown me...beautiful is just a word that society has made to be something that everyone aspires to be, without realizing that they already are on the inside. As long as you are good-hearted and pure, and can learn to love yourself, there is nothing you can't do.

    so don't give up, you're life is just starting. Make it to 90 and then say you're alone forever...but I know that won't happen. You're a good kid (from what I've seen so far) and there's someone for everyone out there, you just have to give life a chance.

    :thumbsup:
     
    #17 GreenRaven, Aug 12, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2012
  18. Given To Fly

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    Someone said the other day in another thread that confidence is attractive. And I think it's true. If you start thinking more positively, you'll have a better chance at meeting someone. I've felt exactly like you feel right now - I did meet someone but it didn't work out - I wasn't sure why at the time, but now I'm pretty sure that the relationship failed because I'm gay. Regardless though, I didn't find myself attractive, yet she did. And logic suggests to me now that if she did, then so will someone else.

    I'm sort of rambling here, but what I'm trying to say is stop worrying about it. You WILL meet someone.

    And by the way, if that's you in your avatar, you are far from ugly. (*hug*)
     
  19. dl72

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    You are young, and you will find someone. The first step is being positive and confident in yourself. Like others have said, eat health, workout, and be proud of who you are. You are still growing into your body, and things will change. Stay positive and believe in yourself.
     
  20. nathaniel

    nathaniel Guest

    Ive learned to stop looking and just care about my self for now. And then some random day they will find me. C: