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Why the Gays hate their bodies

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by runallday4, Aug 21, 2012.

  1. runallday4

    runallday4 Guest

  2. sanguine

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    Yea I agree with that, I have the same body as the writer except Im hairy, Id much prefer it if I gained more weight thought.... never really liked being skinny, its only recently Ive tried to change that
     
  3. Gen

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    It was a amusing article.

    However, I have to honestly disagree. I think it a widespread notion that gay guys are more insecure or physically obsessive than straight men. This is essentially tied to the notion that women are more insecure and physically obsessed than men are, which is also incorrect. It is however, much more harshly looked down on society for a man to show his "weakness". Gay man, however, stereotyped as being more feminine/women-like are not judge as harshly for being outspoken with their feelings. But I dont believe gender or orientation really effects how we feel about ourselfs at all. It does however effect if we are able to openly express ourselfs about it. Its quite sad(On the Hetero-Male side).

    Just from my personal experience. It seems to me that I have alot more straight friends that insecure than gay ones. They just arent open with it and only really disclose such information to me because I'm like the official Dr. Phil.( Dr.Gen ^_^) of my social group. Straight men must keep the overly confident "Egos", that they are stereotyped with, or face outside scrutiny.
     
  4. needshelp

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    i think it all boils down to being accepted by other people and society as a whole. a lot of people including myself were raised to care about what the next person thinks about them than they do about themselves. most people that become obsessed with how they look where they buy tons of clothes to look good in or buy the gym membership to look fit are doing it so that someone else notices them and shows them love. you also have the media such as magazine publications that are controlled by a certain group of whoevers shoving their views down other people's throat where they basically brainwash people into thinking that if they look like this, everybody will like them. it's disturbing.

    i remember some years ago when i was way skinnier than i am now. (i decided to start working out since i started to feel sick.) i used to have people tell me that i was too skinny and making me feel bad for being thin. they were like "you need to workout. you need to start eating. you're not going to get any girls if you don't go to the gym. girls like strong guys". they also used to talk about how i needed to buy new clothes as in me not caring about my appearance showed that i had a lack of respect for myself. i understand where they were coming from but they meant more as in brand clothes or whatever is trendy out. to them, clothes that weren't brand names were trash. my clothes weren't bummy but they just weren't in style. they were pretty much telling me what i should do with myself to be on their side and to please other people. it became about them. like i don't need anybody to tell me how i should conduct myself UNLESS it's something that's going to help me in my life such as a job interview or how to conduct myself at a job.

    at the end of the day, it's about how you feel about yourself. there's people that still go to the gym, are attractive as all hell in the face and are unhappy with themselves. happiness goes beyond how you look. there's no need to do things to please other people. if you do decide to go to the gym or shave your chest because it's hairy, do it because you want to do it just like if you decide to not go to the gym and keep your chest hairy.
     
    #4 needshelp, Aug 21, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2012
  5. Ridiculous

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    PREACH

    The font on that website is awful!
     
  6. Emberstone

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    I know more overweight gay people than I do skinny gay people. This article is looking at only one section of gay male culture.
     
  7. Pret Allez

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    Haha, that's hilarious! Gay guys are fuck ugly in my area. Not at all competitive about their bodies or really anything. If only they were!

    Also, I just stopped reading half-way through because I can't be charitable to this author. I thought he was maybe being ironic at first, but then I realized that I was trying to read that into his piece. He's not being ironic. He's being a judgemental dick in the worst way. After reading stuff like "men are inherently superficial and inferior compared to women and marketers know this..." and "gays are better at life than straight people," I can reach no other conclusion than that he has nothing of value to say.

    Having said that, I could try to backpedal with something like "well you know, he does say that we're constantly surrounded with images of perfect bodies, and we're insecure, etc etc because of the evil marketers." But really, feminists say the same thing too, and they say it with more finesse and nuance. He doesn't really add anything new or interesting to the conversation about beauty standards and how we're going to love our bodies more.
     
  8. Lexington

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    I honestly never got that point of view. Let me back way up to the 80s, when I'd see these magazines at grocery stores, and hair salons, and stuff. (No, I didn't have a subscription!)

    [​IMG]

    There was a time when, suddenly, this guy was front and center on every cover. And I didn't get it. At all. Not that I wanted to get into "Mike" or "Chad"'s pants (then or ever), but I at least got the appeal. I didn't understand what the appeal of "Kirk" was. He didn't seem cute at all, his character on TV was annoying, and he never seemed like an interesting person at all. I can't imagine girls sending in box tops (or whatever you had to do) to "spend a WHOLE day with him!"

    But I never once thought I was "wrong". No matter how many magazine covers they threw at me. I just assumed my tastes were different. The same way I'd rather have vanilla ice cream than chocolate. Even back then, I didn't think the magazines had to apply to me.

    I don't have any problem with hot guys in porn and elsewhere. Of course there are hot guys in porn. That's why they're in porn - because they're the best at it. They're the hottest guys to the most people. But I never felt they reflected on me, or on sex in general. I didn't think "I'll never get a boyfriend because I'm not as hot as them". I thought (correctly) "I'll never get into porn because I'm not as hot as them". And I didn't have any problem with not being hot enough for porn. I went out and dated and had sex as a regular person, with, y'know, other regular people. :slight_smile: Just like watching a baseball game on TV isn't supposed to make me think "You'll never be good enough to play catch in the park." It makes me think "You'll never be good enough to be a professional baseball player." I'm fine with that, and I'll go play catch in the park whenever I want. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  9. Just Adam

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    Id love to be skinny. Been SUPER fat all my life and just cant shift it and frankly its ruined my life. I cant wear the clothes i like or do what i want and i just dont fit in with gay people. Every time i tried it just turned into a bunch of people obsessing over thin people and i on the outside.

    Was a minority within a minority. Been years since i hung out with people =(
     
  10. Pret Allez

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    Have you found a sport you like? I have found that getting obsessed about a sport has helped my to become motivated about getting in shape (I'm not there yet, but it's a process). Besides, you're only 23. It's not like life is over.
     
  11. SunSparks

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    Hahahaha, funny, this article skimmed it)[​IMG]

    obviously, this isnt true... its partially true for me though xD I thought that although the intent of the article was bad, its pretty laughable at the stuff they wrote.
     
  12. Kidd

    Kidd Guest

    He's delusional, and this article was horrifically offensive and triggering for me, but he's right, just not as right as he thinks he is. Even on EC, somewhere that definitely falls well outside of the West Hollywood bubble that this author lives in, there are some people here who push the attitude that if you're not masculine and fit then you're better off dead, because they don't want to be associated with someone who isn't that caricature under any circumstances whatsoever and will blame you point-blank for their problems with society at large. I can't say that has ever happened to me personally outside of the internet (on EC specifically), but I've heard plenty of stories from others and seen enough to say that it's a very real phenomenon within the LGBT community and to act like it isn't is disgusting to say the least.

    I distinctly remember one thread here some time ago in which someone posting anonymously, blasted feminine gay men and when I called him out on it he said, "Oh, but I was attracted to a feminine guy once!" As if that means anything at all. He acted like he was almost shocked that they have sex appeal or personalities beyond a shopping bag. This kind of self-hatred exists deep in the gay community, not just for ourselves and our own body image, but it's directed towards others too for not fitting within a particular "niche." The bear. The twink. The daddy. Whatever.

    I will say that I've struggled with self-image for more than half of my life at this point and it's still something I struggle with on a near daily basis. My straight friends like to call me a "skinny minny" but they don't have to walk past another gay guy and feel his judgment like I do, so it's easy for them to say that. Specifically, I've suffered from eating disorders (triggered in part by the things said in this article, in part because I'm just a hot mess in general) in the past, and I can tell you first-hand that I was never more desired than I was when I was at my thinnest and I'm not from a big city. I'm from a small rural Christian town in the midwest. This is real messed up sick shit and it happens everyday.
     
  13. Black Cat

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    I've been heavy most of my life too. I wouldn't say it ruined my life. I look at my weight gain as a side-effect of my depression really, because when I'm not depressed I tend to naturally gravitate towards slightly healthier activities. And at one point I managed to lose 80 pounds by simply being happier because I hadn't been depressed for a year.

    As for the article, I found it funny. Sure, there is definitely a large percentage of the gay population who are exactly as described. But you could switch a few phrases out of that article and have it describe a multitude of other groups of people. Some of the pictures were good though. :thumbsup: