Any past homophobes?

I still do. I'm sort of scared of myself. I can quote a speech my mother gave to me a few years ago, one that I have memorized verbatim because its message is so embedded into my mind that I can't get rid of it.

"Mommy, why are those two guys holding hands?"
"They're f:***ts. That's why. That's disgusting. God will send them to hell. They will rot in f:***:ing hell, that's right."

I realize consciously that it's fine, but deep down, I get a weird feeling. More for lesbians than for gay males, probably because I'm attracted to males, so I understand where they're coming from.

But I still definitely feel bad about my feelings.

 

In my early teens I was really homophobic and very deep in denial. I was always more against gay guys, but fine with lesbians, not really sure why. I grew up in a really homophobic home, so it really doesn't surprise me that I was really homophobic in the past. Even now I still have a lot of internalized homophobia

 

I have had some moments when I was just that being afraid around anyone gay would immediately out me. Crazy Right. Also it was this one gay guy who I joined in out making fun of him but it was more I just couldnt stand him , neither could he, than him being gay.

 

Not terribly, I mean right before I came out I had this period where I'd say fag all the time and stuff but I've always been pro LGBT despite not really understanding what the acronym meant.

 

Not anymore. When I was little everyone did seem homophobic, and I was very homophobic too until I realized I wasn't straight. Then I freaked out knowing I had become what I hated. Realizing I was bisexual diminished my homophobia, though I was still homophobic. And I was determined to cure myself, somehow some way.

I began to look up ways to cure bisexuality. None of them worked (obviously) and I felt helpless. Curing my bisexuality was the most important thing to me, yet I couldn't do anything to fix it. Now I see how silly it was having that attitude, although it's not shocking because everyone was homophobic, including all the adults around me.

I'd also credit an internet forum I used to frequent for helping me accept myself. I was still pretty homophobic at 16, so I would vehemently argue against same sex marriage. Another member of the site challenged me to prove why gay marriage was wrong. I couldn't do it, so that really got me to re-think my views on it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how suicidal and absurd it all was.

I don't have internalized homophobia any longer. A year ago I would've said yes. Things have changed a lot since then. Looking back, I totally overreacted too realizing my sexuality. While I stopped hating my sexuality years ago, I was still rather unaccepting of it. It was pathetic of me to still have internalized homophobia considering how my family was supportive.

Ever since coming out about my sexuality, I've slowly evolved my views until the point where I'm at now. I'm pretty much open about it with everyone. The only secret I have is my gender identity. Aside from my family and a few friends, nobody does, although it doesn't matter because I'm an expert at hiding it, what with years of practice.

 

Sorta. I was raised Catholic. Though my parents are non-practicing and progressive gay-accepting people, I had a strange interest in religion at a young age. So I was more "into it" then they are. Weird I know.

I was always bisexual I just didn't understand sexual attraction very well. I thought I was straight, and of course since the Catholic religion says that gay is bad, and I agreed with everything they said, I thought it was bad too.

After I found out I was bisexual, I still dismissed the feelings as "bad". But then, after coming out to a couple of people, and people supporting me, I realized "hey, it's okay to be gay/bi" and here I am today. :smilewave:

 

I was never overtly homophobic but I was conflicted because while I had no personal issue with gay people and often had gay friends, I belonged to a conservative religion that said homosexuality is wrong. It created some real cognitive dissonance for me. What I thought I was supposed to believe and what I actually felt were two different things. I'm still not totally over the conditioning I was brought up with around homosexuality but I'm getting there.

 

I used to have severe internalized homophobia, I still do at times, but I'm trying to fix that. I've never judged anyone else, though, I'm just really, really hard on myself.

 

Yes, I had internalized homophobia. It was the only way I felt I could survive in middle school. It was wrong, and I am not proud of it, but I hope that my current behavior and efforts to make others around me feel safe has helped to redeem that past behavior.

I also took a long time to get over the shame of being sexually attracted to men and wanting to be taken over. Even after I came out.

 

While I wouldn't say I was homophobic, I did go to Catholic school for 13 years and was a byproduct of that environment. I knew I wanted to be a girl, and I just prayed to change, but I told that was wrong, and being gay was wrong, and ultimately my only objective in life at that age was to get into heaven, because ultimately in my mind this life was like an instant compared to the infinity of heaven. So in other words I believed it was better to be safe than sorry.

But of course that didn't stop me from saying fag and that's so gay even though those aren't exactly moral decisions. Ultimately though, I never had a problem with LGBT people, and deep down never really believe there was anything wrong. I was just scared into believe I was a straight cisgender male.

 

I used to terribly bad. I was always fine with gay men, but even just the idea of lesbians nauseated me. I had a dream in 5th grade that I close female friend of mine asked to be my girlfriend, and I couldn't be around her for a couple years without feeling sick to my stomach. Similar things have happened since too, dreaming about friends and not being able to be around them afterward.
Very thankfully, I am almost completely over that now.

 

I was never homophobic, but i did make gay jokes a lot as a kid, or tried too. Everyone was doing it and i wanted to fit in. Kids sure are dumb.

 

Not anymore. In high school when I first realized I was a lesbian and when I was still in denial about it I was homophobic about it.. But not anymore. I was just in denial and hadn't accepted myself as a lesbian at the time.

 

before I really thought about it yes but that was more from being raised in my family, but after sometime ago I really looked at it and changed my thoughts about it, plus looked at the fact that someday I want to marry a woman so that kinda led into it.

 

I've never been homophobic. I am named after my mother's gay best friend, and from birth on, I was surrounded by members of the LGBT community. I never saw it as anything but the norm, and didn't even realize that sexuality was even an 'issue' til I reached high school or so. I also live in a VERY liberal town (I can count the republicans on one hand) in the suburbs of NYC, so the out gay kids at our school were never even given a passing thought by most. Kids did joke sometimes, but nothing that was actually hurtful.

 

Maybe until 5th grade, before a point in my life where I was actually able to think about things like sexuality.

 

I recall only one incident of my being blatantly homophobic. My sister and I were discussing LGBT rights (junior year of high school or something), and I said I fully supported them but thought the idea of two guys making out was "disgusting" (yeah, I was lying through my teeth and I knew it; bigtime lie). I said this because I figured she'd be like everyone else in our little village, thinking she'd agree completely. Instead she politely said she never understood the problem with it - "if they love each other then that's that" (love her (*hug*)).


I didn't say so out loud, but I felt pretty damn embarrassed after that, and made sure to never approach that topic in such a way again. Hell, looking back, that moment really began my "coming to terms with it" process.

Beyond that I once called a hotel door I was having trouble opening a "fag," although I didn't mean it to refer to homosexuality in any way. The guy I was with pointed out that I shouldn't do that and I acknowledged that he was right. End of story.

 

I was never homophobic. Actually, as much as that may sound improbable, I was never xenophobic in general. It always seemed stupid, I wanted to be friends with everyone. There was far too much hatred around when I was growing up with the war and everything..

However, after I came out to myself, I was pretty autohomophobic. I still am to a degree. And another thing, I wouldn't call that homophobia, but lesbianism perplexes me. For some reason, it's hard for me to get it. I don't know.

 

My dad is a real homophobe (even though I suspect that he may be bisexual himself, and my friends said that too!) - so when I was younger, yes, I was homophobic!!!

The idea of being a lesbian and liking girls seemed much worse to me than the thought of men being gay, as that didn't affect me. I think alot of my homophobia came not just from my dad, but from going to a small girls' boarding school - where the other girls were all homophobic!!! They just resented being forced to live with a whole load of other girls, so the last thing they wanted to think about was maybe fancying a girl...! We saw each other in our nightwear and underwear every morning and evening, but most of us had difficult home lives, so none of them were very nice to each other.... I was limited to fancying certain female celebs and then feeling all confused and thinking 'well I can't be a lesbian if I don't fancy any of my school friends'... I didn't even know what bisexual meant then.

I also had a stereotype in my head that all lesbians were very butch with shaved heads and lots of piercings, and dressed entirely in leather or denim....... :lol:

That's why I didn't realise my sexuality for a long time............ :icon_redf :icon_redf