Are effeminate ever seen as sexy?

Sometimes. It depends on what sort of effeminacy it is. I know one guy who's super feminine, but he comes across as totally dependant because he displays his femininity in a really "I'm dependant on you as a man to love and hold me" sort of way. That certainly isn't sexy to me.
I think effeminacy without the "girlish" vibe is sexy. Does that make sense?

 

Hmm, I have a really hard time thinking of what "types" or the "personality characteristics" of effeminate guys I've found attractive, and what I haven't. Just as with "average guys" or "butch guys," some are attractive to me and some aren't.


Honestly, just be yourself and be proud of it, because "those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter" (Dr. Suess; the only caveat I'll apply to that is if you're being socially manipulative and/or hurting people emotionally/physically). I know from personal experience that such is so much easier to say than do, but pull that off and you will be more confident and inherently more attractive

 

I find effeminate guys attractive, it isn't a must for me but I do think it is attractive

 

Not so much that, as effeminate and needy. Exceptionally needy. Effeminacy on it's own can be sexy, but when somebody who's effeminate throws in being needy it becomes a game that I don't like very much.

 

I don't think you should think of it as a niche. Just people have different tastes in partners is all. Plenty of guys, some of them very masculine, like feminine men. It does seem to be a somewhat taboo subject, though--I think a lot of gay men have some internalized homophobia that prevents them from either admitting to femininity or to an attraction to feminine men. There is a little of that in the lesbian community too, but the butch & femme identities provide a little more affirmation.

I think it's interesting that you self-identify with the word "effeminate." Do you prefer it to the word "feminine?"

 

Yeah, it really just depends on the person. I would say that there is a good balance of people who find masculinity or femininity usually more attractive. It just depends on the person.

 

As long as it's not showy, those are the kinds of gay guys I find myself attracted to. And I think there's something very appealing and alluring about that. Gay guys face a lot of prejudices and for gay guys to be light hearted and energetic still after all of that? It kind of is more appealing to me than girls or straight guys who might be as light as well because... I don't know... there's just a very strong character I correlate to it. I should also state more 'boyish' than showy 'effiminate' nature.

 

All I can say is that personally, I'd prefer an effeminate guy over a really masculine guy. I like it until it becomes too loud. The one thing about those types is there are the ones that are overly dramatic and walk around like they're Cleopatra or something. But in general, I find guys on the more feminine side sexy. I LOVE a guy who has his typical male qualities but who also can be perfectly effeminate and be confident about it without showing it off.

 

Yes, I really am into sissies and girly boys. I definitely like them more than muscular or overweight guys.

When they're sissies and emos, that's the perfect combination in my opinion. If they're redheaded, all the better.

Since I'm decidedly bisexual, nothing turns me on when someone possesses qualities of both genders. Then again, I think Agendered people are effing hot too.

 

I'm not an overly "masculine" guy though most people can't tell I'm gay.

I'm more attracted to feminine guys. It's the fact that they are confident enough in themselves to be different. Generally feminine guys are never boring because of this and have loads of confidence (and not the make you a dick kind of confidence!)

So not boring and confidence, what's more sexy than that!

 

My bf is slightly fem. i like it makes him seem tender are caring. A in your face loud manly man just aint for me, id have a headace too much.

Saying that tho i aint one for super fem guys as that gives me a headache too. I gues i like my guys 2° fem of vanilla lol

 

I always find the cute quiet effeminate guys attractive. Like someone else say just being your self is attractive if were out i don't want my effeminate guy being loud and obnoxious i find those types to be annoying just like over the top macho guys.

 

I like a guy that can show his feminine side and be sensitive, but I have a limit. I couldn't date a guy that was the male equivalent of Paris Hilton strutting like some super model, squealing at the top of their lungs - just no.

Being attracted to men isn't just about their genitals (actually, dicks aren't all that), I want a man to be manly. Femininity is okay, as long as it's not over exaggerated. I have slight feminine tendencies, but nobody questions my sexuality because of it, I don''t use it and think everybody wants to hear my voice and everybody needs to see how fabulous I am - it just annoys me to the core to see a guy like that. I know it's a little frank, but it's just how I feel and I'm sure you wouldn't want me to lie and be like 'ooooft yes I think they're so sexy', because I don't - but the main point is, some guys do like that and it doesn't make you unattractive if you're feminine, you'll find someone that loves you for you.

 

Effeminate is used mainly (usually only) for men. It has a negative connotations. It implies that the femininity is inappropriate or invalid.

From the Online Etymology Dictionary:

(emphasis added)

It's totally unnecessary to have a different word for femininity in men. It's not some kind of lesser type of femininity, or pseudo-femininity. It's actual, real, valid femininity, as authentic as a feminine woman's femininity, and we can use the same words for it.

 

I find feminine men and even highly androgynous men attractive.

However, one of the things I find attractive in men in general is confidence. By confidence I don't mean arrogance, as a lot of people seem to think that's what it means, but a guy who has a very strong sense of who he is and is accepting of it. That's confidence.

I want a guy who is comfortable in his own skin, because a man with that quality is always sexy. Always. Even guys who most would consider "unattractive" become sexy to me when they start displaying confidence.

 

Some of us are far too effeminate and sexy to really be guys!

 

Yeah, of course they're attractive. So are masculine guys. I'm definitely attracted to different types of guys. Honestly, I don't think that its about being "feminine" or "masculine," but rather personality and how well we get along. I really try not to judge or dismiss people based on looks, because I wouldn't want someone to do that to me.