I have been in contact with a couple of women that would like to get together sometime, but I'm hesitant because even though I've known them a long time I haven't spoken to them in 15yrs and they don't know I'm gay, and I'm afraid to say anything because when I was in the closet I had relations, not relationships with both, I'm not sure what to do. Any thoughts. J.
Unless you are more bisexual than you give yourself credit for, it would be unfair to yourself to engage in relations with either of these women. Try using various mainstream tactics to avoid going out with these women, and if that should hold to no avail then coming out to them would be your best tactic.
I'm not sure what "get together" means. Is it lets get together for a cup of coffee.Then go for it .It might be interesting to hear what they've been up to. If it's let's get together, have hot steamy sex and get married then maybe you could explain about your change in orientation. I don't see why you should why you should cut yourself off from the past because of a change in perception.
She meant get together for a night out, nothing sexual, it's just I feel if I don't tell them, it shows that I don't have pride, but at the same time I'm afraid of how they'll react.
I agree with panda -- if it's not a sexual invitation definitely go, catch up, see what she's been up to. You don't have to come out to her if you don't want to. I mean, it's not as if you have to walk around with a banner saying "Hi. I'm gay." for the rest of your life. If the opportunity arises, or perhaps if she tries to "hook up" with you, perhaps tell her then, but otherwise you don't have to. Huzzah! for Wikipedia.
Well, you could do what I did. When I moved to PA for college I just started telling all my new friends that I'm Bi. It was really easy because I hadn't known them long and they could see that I was a good and honest friend. The more I did it the easier it got. I didn't get a single bad reaction from any of them. Since those women haven't seen you in so long you should straight up tell them. They won't reject you. And if you're going out dancing or whatever they won't feel like you're staring at their boobs or trying to get with them all night. It's not like you're keeping a secret from them, you haven't seen em in 15 years. It would probably be nice to tell a few more people anyways! Thats my 2c Edit: If they question you about the "relations" just tell them you were still unsure back then :/
