1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How do you deal with criticism?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by BornAnew, Sep 13, 2012.

  1. BornAnew

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2012
    Messages:
    573
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cornwall, England
    I'm pretty jealous of people who can brush off criticism very easily!! Or maybe they don't but it seems like they do.

    Soo I usually take criticisms very personally and it literally makes me stop even trying. I used to love singing out loud a lot till I was like 14 when my mum told me I have a horrible out of tune voice (she sings herself) and it sounds very embarrassing...she said that a few times. Unfortunately what she said stuck & I just stopped singing...until recently when my friends forced me to. They actually said I'm quite in tune and have a good voice. That little bit of confidence boost was all I seemed to need to start singing out loud a lot again and it's soo much fuuun..just like it used to be back then!!

    That experience just made me realise that one small criticism had such a big effect on me and then 6 years later someone praising me in that regard once again changed me a lot. I feel so out of control haha :dry:

    How do you deal with criticism, be it for your actions, work, talents, personality or whatever. Do you manage to ignore it, get really disappointed & obsessed over it or strive to overcome it?
     
  2. HelmetBoi

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2012
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Yorkshire, UK
    At the end of the day I think it's important to understand that whatever you do, however good you are and however hard you try, you'll never please everyone. Once you understand and accept that I think it becomes a little easier not to dwell on certain types of criticism too much.

    How I deal with criticism in the artistic areas I'm active in very much depends on who gives the criticism and how they give it. If it's someone I know and respect (or someone else who clearly knows what they're doing) giving criticism constructively and positively then I take it on board in the hope I'll learn something and move forwards. If it's some random person who clearly isn't all that clues up anyway and is criticising ostensibly for the sake of it (as some people do) then I find it extremely easy to ignore and forget about. Those people simply don't bother me.

    Good, constructive criticism is never a bad thing, it can only help you get better. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Kat kanu

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2012
    Messages:
    243
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    kingwood, Texas
    omg my mom said the same thing my friend made me sing too and apperently i have a good voice sive taken up singing again
     
  4. FollowtheFreeman

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2012
    Messages:
    244
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Milwaukee, WI
    I love criticism against me. If it is deserved then I'll reflect upon it and try to make myself a better person. If it isn't deserved then I just make fun of or ignore the criticism.
     
  5. BornAnew

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2012
    Messages:
    573
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cornwall, England
    *high five*
     
  6. Waterlilly

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2012
    Messages:
    106
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    My middle school music teacher told me I was no good and should quit singing, so I did. My aunt got me back into it and now I am a voice performance major. I actually now get more criticism than ever in college, but I am too invested to quit so I just cry until I'm too tired to care anymore and then move on to the next thing.
     
  7. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    Like HelmentBoi said, you will always meet someone that doesn't like something about you. So if you listen to everyone that criticize you then you are going to have a bad time.

    What usually works is knowing who you can trust to listen to what they have to say about you. There should always be a couple of people whose critiques you should listen, but those people should be carefully selected. Everyone else can pretty much suck it :slight_smile:
     
  8. Pinstripe

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2012
    Messages:
    198
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NE
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I think you have to seek out constructive criticism, and try to brush off what isn't constructive. "You suck, give up singing," is not constructive. "You're flat on the high notes," is, because that's something you can work on. If someone tells you you're flat-out bad, but can't tell you why in a helpful way, there's nothing to be gained by listening to them.
     
  9. Sartoris

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2011
    Messages:
    2,547
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Upstate New York
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Either I die a little inside or emotionally implode. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  10. armsoutfarther

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2012
    Messages:
    71
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Pittsburgh, PA
    If I ask for it, I take it to heart and keep it in mind the next time. But if I didn't ask for it, I try not to take it personally because I have a habit of doing so :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: But I know that not everyone isn't going to like me for whatever reason so I don't really worry about it.
     
  11. needshelp

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2011
    Messages:
    1,005
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    nuked jersey
    op, i'm the same way. there's certain things in the past that people have said about me that have stuck with me where it screwed up my confidence and made me too self conscious. i'm someone that listens to critcism but honestly, it sort of bruises whatever is left of my confidence.
     
  12. Broken Bottle

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2012
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rockford, Il
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I generally listen to the criticisms from others, whether they are constructive or not. I then take a step back and begin to review what I did to receive said criticism. If it makes sense for the person to say such a thing to me or if the situation need it, I let it slide or take to heart (depending on if I asked or not). If it doesn't I generally laugh it off and throw it out the mental window.

    I wasn't always this way though. I was bullied a lot through school and even ended up quitting activities I loved due to being told I was no good at sports/theater/singing solo. I would get really upset if I was criticized and realize now that it was due to that a lot of the kids who picked on me probably did so. Now I only sing solo when I'm alone and quietly when I'm in a group, generally cautious when I go out for parts at local theaters, and just avoid playing sports entirely.

    Even so, I'm working on overcoming a lot of them though...with a little help from my friends. The key is good friends and a least more than half a cup of confidence. :slight_smile:
     
  13. AshenAngel

    AshenAngel Guest

    NOT WELL. I'll leave it at that. :bang:
     
  14. HatterMad

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2012
    Messages:
    305
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Beachcombing
    Here's the thing. I don't really get the difference between someone giving useful stuff and someone being an assheol. And since I've spent most of life being told I'm a useless faggy moron who is taking up space better people could be using....i have to say I don't handle it well.

    When someone tries to tell me how to improve something it feels pretty much the same.
     
  15. TruePinkamena

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2012
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Out Status:
    Some people
    My parents and sister have always insulted me since I was young, saying I was untalented and ugly, etc, so I grew up believing I was that way. My friends helped me grow my confidence but I still sometimes worry about having "too big of an ego" as I find those egomaniac people very annoying. But if someone were to criticize me now, I would still take it harshly. For example, in my school, when I'm in gym class and my teammate criticizes the way I'm playing, I do worse than if they were nice to me and complimented my form or the way I at least tried to do my best. On the general self-esteem issue, time and friendship can help you pull through there. :slight_smile:
     
  16. everett

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2012
    Messages:
    245
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland
  17. Browncoat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2011
    Messages:
    4,053
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Zefram Cochrane's hometown.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It depends on who's criticizing me, and on the particular mood I'm in on the day in question. In general, I'm working on it...
     
  18. awesomeyodais

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2012
    Messages:
    721
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Soon-to-be-frozen again White North :-(
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    ^^^^^^^^^^^ that