Tonight im supposed to be going out drinking with some friends and i am dreading it. My problem is that im gonna be the only guy there, im gonna be surrounded by ovaries and oestrogen all night and although im not out to them, im pretty sure they all have their suspicions. Is it bad that i dont want to become that gay guy? The token gay in a group of screeching girls is not something i particularly view as being a pleasant evening. Has anyone else been in this situation before? Is it as bad as i think its gonna be? i dunno, maybe i should just get wasted and see where the night takes me lol
Well, no its not bad to not want to just be a stereotype. However, if you like the people who are there and you think/know you will have fun then you should definitely go. You shouldnt not go because you dont want to be "that gay guy" or stereotype. Dont worry about how you will be precieved, because you can stop yourself from doing and enjoying the things you want to. I myself and more feminine than the "average" man, and goodness how I hate to fall under that stereotype, however, I'm not going to not express myself because it is out there. So if you like your friends, like where you are going, then go. Dont spend so much time thinking about what your stereotype will say.
Hi there! If they are your friends, it shouldn't really matter. I don't think it is going to be as bad as you feel it is going to be. Don't over think it! Lots of guys have female friends with whom they go out for drinks. I have seen in some local pubs (the few times I have gone), three or four girls and one guy around the table. Nothing to worry about. What might fuel your apprehension and/or worry is that you are not out to them, and maybe a part of you is worried that you might say something you don't mean to or want to say. That said, if you feel that they are suspecting already, and know that they would be accepting and supportive, maybe take tonight as an opportunity to come out to them. Have a blast tonight!
Sigh. You're right of course, i've just never been a big club going/social person. I've always preferred to go to the pub with a couple of the lads and just get hammered and have a laugh, this is my first experience with being the only guy in the group. I Just dont know what to expect with it all.
If this is your first time being in this situation, take a deep breath and tell yourself it is going to be fine! Try to enjoy your time, take your cues from them. On the flip side, once you are there, and you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, or can't really connect with them, it is okay to excuse yourself from the group and leave.
I just found out that a girl from work is going who has a crush on me, several people have tried to set us up before with me stumbling through without trying to out myself and hurt her feelings at the same time. You're right about the lack of outness, my current problem is that this is a kind of work night out, and i have family at work who im really not ready to tell yet. Who knows, i have a nasty habit of dropping the G bomb when im drunk, i may just walk in and make a dramatic entrance singing born this way or something.
I think one way to handle that is not to lead her on, or say anything that she could interpret as being reciprocal. You can talk with her of course, but keep it to a level that don't send different messages. If you have a family member working at your workplace, and you are not ready for your family to know, why would you want to make a dramatic entrance, or get drunk? I'd say you have one good reason not to get wasted and make sure that you are in control of what you are saying throughout the night. To have fun, and a good time, you don't need to get wasted or drunk to the point where you don't remember anything you said, once it is all said and done.
Oh you clearly dont know British drinking culture :lol: And i wasnt being serious about the dramatic entrance lol, ive just been pre-drinking before i go out/trying to get the bravery to go out and be myself and clearly my humour is lost on everyone but me . It wouldnt be the worst thing in the world if i told them, i feel like im getting to place where i need to come out, but its like i owe it to my parents to tell them first, rather them hear it from my aunt at work who heard it through the grapevine ya know
Well then if its about coming out then I still wouldnt worry to much about it. Heck, going out with them tonight could help things. Releasing your inhibitions could give you the courage to come out to people the next day. Plus, absolute worst case scenario, if anything does slip tonight, and you really want your family to hear if from you, then you could just call them in the morning. Though, I'm sure things wont become that dramatic.
Oh, you are from the UK? Ah okay... never mind! :lol: (Didn't realize it beforehand). Although, I'm sure the British are not as bad as Canadians! Well, if you are getting to the point of feeling ready to come out, and want others to know, maybe a good starting point would be to think about coming out to your parents. Do you feel that your parents would be okay with it all?
I got your humour! Although I'm also from the UK so that may have something to do with it ^^ Anyway, people will just think who's that pimp with all the girls xD
Hahaha well it's really nothing more than a ratio. If y'all are friends then you should have fun no matter where you go, right? Your post kinda reminds me of my own closest group of friends: we're usually 4 women and 1 man, he's gay, and I'm the only person in the group who isn't attracted to men, lol. And we have soooooo much fun together.
I just got in, while ive drank too much, i actually had a good night. I did feel abit awkward while with the girls, they occasionally asked if there was anyone i liked (i managed to shrug it off), i mainly acted as the cock blocker to anyone who tried it on with my friends by pretending to be the boyfriend. I did actually meet some old friends from school who are all openly gay and living life to the full, it filled me with hope with my own coming out. If they can be happy, then why cant i? All in all, not as bad as i thought
We told you! Not to mention, you did gain more courage about coming out so I get two pyschic points. ^_^ I'm happy it went well.
I'm glad to read that it was a good night and that meeting your friends who are openly gay has given you some hope, and courage (and perhaps motivation) to come out.
