1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

fake being a socialable person

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Gazza123, Sep 22, 2012.

  1. Gazza123

    Gazza123 Guest

    Hi

    Now following on from my last thread

    I want to know if possible to fake being a socialable (if that's even a word) person since I am not. But I want to appear to be in order make friends and just generally enjoy life. Now am not talking about the life of the party and guy to be with but don't want people to assume am just quiet and won't even bother talking me or asking if I fancy tagging along to 'something'

    This more to do with my new job where people don't know me I need to make a good first impression

    Thanks
     
  2. Owen

    In Loving Memory Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2007
    Messages:
    613
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    When it comes to being social, one of the most commonly-given pieces of advice is, "Fake it 'til you make it." That's not an entirely fair way of wording it, because the real wisdom behind the advice is that if you pretend to be a sociable (yes, it is a word :slight_smile:) person, after a while (maybe six months, give or take), it'll come naturally and you won't be "faking it" anymore. Being sociable isn't much different from a habit, and you build a habit by repeatedly forcing yourself to do something until it's second nature.
     
  3. BudderMC

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    3,148
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    ^ just to add onto what Owen said (because I'm guilty of preaching "fake it 'til you make it" quite often) that while being sociable would eventually become second nature... I see it more like this: if you can push yourself to be sociable ("fake it") for the first little while, you'll make that breakthrough to a point where being sociable doesn't have to seem awkward, because you now know these people and want to spend time with them.

    So it's not even a case of pretending to be sociable will make you be sociable by habit, but you'll actually want to be, once you find the right people. :slight_smile:
     
  4. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    The only thing I would say is that is not really pretending to be sociable, but its more of making yourself act like you are already sociable. Its a big difference because with one you are lying and in the other one you are envisioning how you would act once you are sociable. Not sure if I'm being clear xD

    I say that because I have seen a lot of people act too cocky or obnoxious in order to try and fake it, which will backfire most of the time.

    Be nice, smile and allow yourself to get out there. The main thing is to try and allow yourself to be vulnerable with people rather than to try and be someone who you are not.
     
  5. chibiidol

    chibiidol Guest

    ^x3 I agree! I think im living proff of it!

    I was never a sociable person, never had many friends either. Infact, I switched out of band sophomore year just because i didnt have any friends. It made me depressed because band is pretty much a 24/7 thing so i was alone almost 24/7 :/
    But while the band director was trying to talk to me into staying he said something that struck me, he said that he talked to the other kids and they said i was the one who made yourself alone."
    That really hit me because i realized it was true. I was always separating myself from everyone elese because i was nervous...
    I quit band anyway, but the next year i moved to a new school and because i like music i made the risky the decision of joining band again at the new school. Only this time i promised myself that no matter how nervous i felt put myself put there and be social.
    It was really hard at first and its still a work in progress but now just a year later i have already become a waaaay more social than ive ever been in my life.

    So i do believe if you fake being social after a while you wont be faking it anymore ^_^
     
    #5 chibiidol, Sep 22, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 22, 2012
  6. fleetingwells

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2012
    Messages:
    164
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Ugh, I do this, but when I try to, I always end up feeling like an idiot. I don't like having to drag myself to do this. But I do agree that 'faking it' does work and it'll go a long way, but personally, I haven't made any longstanding bonds doing so yet. Just friendly acquaintances. Better than nothing, I suppose.