Visible Discrimination or Hidden?

Well, I'm a white cismale with class privilege, so I'm sure my opinion on the topic is useful.

Since I don't really know the perspectives of others, I'm going to go ahead and bet that it sucks worse to be oppressed because of a visible characteristic. However, in some cases, that includes sexual orientation. For people who seem gay because of their voice or mannerisms, that's still a visible characteristic.

 

I agree completely.

For your sexual orientation to be discriminated against, it needs to be made known (or assumed) first. So you are a little bit safer before it happens. But the fact that you have to hide can mess your mind up pretty badly. So, uh,... it really depends on the case.

 

Most of the butch/femme community has taken the position that they are equally bad in different ways. (This is relevant because, generally speaking, butch=visibly queer, and femme=invisibly queer.)

Actually, I think invisibility is an advantage when hiding is desirable, but a disadvantage all of the rest of the time. For example, it's a disadvantage when I'm trying to connect to the community and be accepted as a lesbian.

In part, how much advantage can be gained by invisibility depends on how bad the oppression is. If they are killing people for being queer, being not visibly recognizable as a queer person is an extreme advantage.

Of course, a person who chooses to be out loses most of the advantages of being invisible, but doesn't necessarily gain all the advantages of being visible.

Anyway, there are advantages and disadvantages to both, and it really depends on the specifics of the situation which is worse or better.

(Also, there are racial minorities that can sometimes "pass for white." So race isn't necessarily visible either.)

 

Sure, I can definitely see that. I guess I was only considering the oppression part and not the getting noticed by the minority community part.

 

I'm Korean and gay, and in my opinion having to hide who you are is worse.

There will always be people who will hate/insult me just for how I look. There will always be times where things would be easier and safer if I was white. At times it can seem like discrimination is endless and that there are racist people everywhere, but at least I know where I stand with them from the start.

Hiding a part of yourself means having friends and even family that you can never trust. Having to worry about losing someone that you are close to, being attacked by a friend, losing a job that you need, or just having your life suddenly change if anyone finds out who you really are. It also means that there will always be people that don't understand just because you can hide something doesn't make it a choice.

 

Also, I just thought I would mention that one think I do think is worse about being queer as opposed to a racial minority is that you are more likely to experience severe discrimination from your own immediate family. And a queer person does not necessarily know any other queer people, whereas racial minorities usually have a community that they are born into. (Racial minorities can be adopted outside of their race, but usually, in most circumstances, they are born into and raised in a community of their own race.)

And I guess it is partly the visibility factor that makes it more likely for queer people to be totally isolated. But it's also partly just that we aren't automatically grouped into a community the way that racial minorities are.

(I'm not claiming that being queer is worse than being a racial minority overall; I think that would be very difficult to measure. I just think it's worse in some specific ways.)

 

I've been a visible gay guy at times, maybe when holding hands with my boyfriend or going around with some super camp clothes. And I can say that those are the times when I've experienced discrimination from strangers. I mean, sadly, it's not unusual to get shouted at 'faggot' or have drunk people throw stuff or whatever, but the reason I'm happy to stay visible is because I can handle it. I think the option to become less obvious and hide is a good one when in certain parts of town, but also feels wrong and oppressive. I can't say I can fully understand visible discrimination, though, because it's something I always have the option to hide, but it's something I experience relatively regularly.

Having to hide and having to be invisible is something that I hate doing. But the feeling of being screamed at on the street is a whole different game to the feeling of having to hide yourself from people, especially family. So I think it's really difficult to compare the two in such a straightforward 'which one is worse' way. They can both be dreadful, and I count my blessings that I live in such an accepting part of the world and am surrounded largely by wonderful people.

 

Just because people don't know that you are gay, doesn't mean that they can't discriminate against you and hurt you for it. It is pretty awful having people be homophobic in front of me when they don't know I'm gay because it makes me feel like I can never come out and at the same time really guilty for not speaking up because I feel that saying nothing is a tacit approval of whatever they are saying.

 

I think visible discrimination is worse. For example with race, the moment you meet someone they already have formed an opinion about you in their mind and they never gat a chance to know you because of their presumptions. But, if for example you are gay, people can get to know you better before you casually drop or hint that you are gay.

 

Idk, having people discriminated against me because I'm trans sucks quite a bit. It's not something I can really hide either, but if I do hide it I'd feel just as terrible. So this is quite the question.

 

Both are terrible but I wouldn't say they are equally terrible.

I am thinking of physically violent discrimination, for one, that happens on sight (of a visible minority that is being discriminated).
Being a discriminated minority is a tough weight to carry already, but add to that being a visible one; that often means the constant stress of looking everywhere, gauging for the level of dangers, with keeping at the back of your mind that you can be attacked, raped, killed even, by random strangers who have something against who you are.

It also means that your loved ones may be worrying for you more than if you were a non-visible minority. I know what I'm talking about, my wife being visibly in her period of transition (mtf). It's not only tough for her, but for all of us too, whether we want to or not, and I think that worsens the whole thing.