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Whats up with the sterotypes.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by DragonLvr9999, Sep 24, 2012.

  1. DragonLvr9999

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    Heres a question ive always wondered. How come some gay dudes act very femine or flamboyant. Im Bi leaning towards gay but never once have acted flamboyant. Ive been to gay bars before and have had guys come up to me and look at me and say "I think your in the wrong bar" i then would tell the "Nope im deffinatly in the right place." If you look at me and talk to me i come off as your typical guy, I like to drink scotch, smoke cigars, and surf and hangout with my buds. Just a question. im not hating on anyone in anyway. Just curious!
     
  2. Pret Allez

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    I'm sorry that you were questioned because you didn't present with feminine affectations.

    Some of us just are feminine compared to standard masculinities.
     
  3. DragonLvr9999

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    No need to be sorry. I just lauged and shrugged it off. it was funny because after i told them i was in the right bar then they actually became interested.
     
  4. Owen

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    I think there's a problem with your use of the word "act". They aren't "acting" feminine anymore than you're "acting" masculine. They're just doing what comes naturally to them, as you, I assume, also do.
     
  5. Rakkaus

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    Act however you want. Be who you are.

    I think it's really heterosexual men who are the biggest victims of gender stereotypes, constantly feeling the need to act overly masculine and never show any sensitive or feminine side- lest they be thought of as gay!

    Accepting my sexuality I have found very liberating in terms of the amount of freedom I feel I have to be myself rather than conform to what is expected of me based on having male sex organs.

    Of course for a lot of guys that manifests itself in being feminine or flamboyant, since we're obviously no longer afraid of being called gay...
     
  6. DragonLvr9999

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    Fair enough. I guess acting wasn't the proper word i should have used.
     
  7. Lewis

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    Couldn't agree with this more. I mean I do believe some individuals that 'act' feminine, do exaggerate it a little, but whatever, it's their life.
     
  8. Pexetta

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    'Act' doesn't necessarily mean a pretence though. If you say someone acted bravely in a fire, you aren't saying that they weren't really brave.
     
  9. Owen

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    True, but quite a few of the people who hate on flamboyant guys do so because of an underlying belief that no one is actually flamboyant, that the guys who are flamboyant are faking it just to fit stereotypes. Obviously this is complete BS, but that's why I chimed in with the "act" point.
     
  10. Silvails52

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    According to the entire world, any man who behaves like a woman is gay, and anyone else is straight. *facepalm* That's not how it works. Sure, feminine men tend to be gay and masculine men tend to be straight, but it doesn't apply to everyone. And yes, there is still some hate to flamboyant gays.

    There was this one gay in my highschool who wore a lot of different clothes that basically said he was gay. He once came in to an after school event wearing a dress. I give him a lot of credit. He was really brave to do any of that. But a lot of the people I knew hated him, saying he was just looking for attention. There's just an entire misunderstanding everywhere that says everyone has to fit into a certain stereotype, and if they're not, they're either A) attention seekers or B) not in that group.
     
  11. Gen

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    Well, I believe the answer to your question, is in the question itself.

    You're asking the same question they are asking you. Essentially, why are you different? You probably dont want to see it as blatantly as that, but it really is. They dont understand why you are so non-feminine, you dont understand why your are feminine. Its the same thing either way.

    Grammarically speaking, it is used as a pretence in this sense. 'Act' can be used as a deception/role or a action. You can say "his limp wrist was a act of femininity", but to say "He is acting femininity" relates to a role. I understand that you were just trying to defend DragonLvr99999. However, coming from someone who is fairly feminine it is offense to read. Though, I dont believe that was his actually intentions.
     
  12. hafwen

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    A few gay guys I know do actually pretend and wear clothes they don't like wearing because that's how they feel they have to be. Like the voice, one day some of them decide to speak differently.

    I don't know why sexuality should change who you truly are. There's a lot more to me than who I like sexually.
     
  13. DragonLvr9999

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    Offending people was not my intentions, it was just a question of curiosity. Thank you for noticing
     
  14. hafwen

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    I didn't see what could be taken as offensive here
     
  15. Z3ni

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    That's what annoys me with so many people, they "think" they should act or do things to please others, they're scared of being ridiculed, and lose a sense of who they are, I mean everyone is born as an individual, they need to separate themselves from the mass. But then again some do grow out of it.
     
  16. hafwen

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    A lot don't though. Some of the behaviours displayed in places like Canal Street is downright offensive. I've saw guys going around in thongs there a few weeks ago. Your sexuality shouldn't make you an exception. If people want gay rights (which I'm all for) they should behave like a decent person. If a straight guy went around in a thong he'd get arrested and rightly so.

    I think people should stop letting their sexuality define their personality.
     
  17. Z3ni

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    That probably is their personality :lol:, or they're just letting loose and having fun. Doubt they're like that 24/7.
     
  18. Rakkaus

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    Well the OP implied that gay guys who act feminine or flamboyant are putting on an act for attention. Also in that implication is that masculine gay guys are normal "typical guys" but there's something wrong about those femme gay guys...

    It obviously wasn't DragonLvr999's intention to offend anyone, but this whole "I'm just a normal masculine guy who happens to be gay, don't group me in with those flamboyant freaks" is an unfortunately common mindset among some people.

    Now I do admit I am sometimes embarrassed when I see gay guys who actually are overdoing it for attention and putting on a show for heteros, to the point where it crosses the line into minstrelsy. It can be fun to dial up the camp when among other queer folks, but don't dehumanize yourself by becoming a stereotypical caricature for straight people rather than being who you really are.

    But seriously, how masculine could a gay/bi guy really be? I mean, you've already admitted to one of the most stereotypical female-associated things by being attracted to guys.
     
  19. Gen

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    Oh, I'm not sure what this is supposed to be incinuating. What does men streaking around in throngs have to do with their personality? I do agree that it is ridiculous to expose yourself publicly, but what does this have to do with the topic at hand.

    I'm also not sure how you know that these gay guys are wearing cloths that they dont like and speaking in a way that isnt natural to them. Many LGBT people hide themselves before they come out, who are we to judge what is valid or invalid.
     
  20. hafwen

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    The thing about saying implying is over a forum, you're actually not sure where they are coming from so it's unfair to say someone is suggesting something.

    What are you meaning by 'stereotypical female-associated'? Sorry you've lost me.

    My point is the law is the law. You can't have one law for one group of people and a different for another. My point is, if there were 2 guys going around in their thongs, they're doing the same thing. One will get nicked, the other won't. That's discriminating against straight people. We need equal rights. Not equal-when-we-feel-like-it rights.

    I think it's wrong, yes the gay guy is a minority but that isn't a valid excuse for bad behaviour.

    Of course, most of the gay community don't 'flaunt' themselves. I would never dream of going around in my underwear. Most people wouldn't.

    ---------- Post added 26th Sep 2012 at 02:08 AM ----------

    When I went to sixth form, I knew a couple of gay lads and I asked them why they spoke in a high pitched voice and wore pink belly tops and their reply is that they were gay.