1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Most annoying misconceptions?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by wonderingdave01, Oct 1, 2012.

  1. Whether you're gay, bisexual, pansexual, trans or whatever, what's the most annoying misconception about your sexual orientation/gender identity?

    For me I hate the misconception that if you like men, you're attracted to/going to go after/going to hit on every straight guy you see.

    For Bisexuals in particular, I hate the misconception that we're all cheaters or whores or confused or enjoy threesomes.
     
  2. Level75

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2012
    Messages:
    391
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Jersey
    One of the first things my mother asked me when I came out to her was if I ever wanted to wear women's underwear...

    ...yeah, I'd say that was the most annoying.
     
  3. BradThePug

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2011
    Messages:
    6,573
    Likes Received:
    288
    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Humm.. I've heard a few things.

    The first one was that since I am a lesbian I "have no soul".

    Another one is that I am going to screw every female roommate that I live with (I've never even had a relationship..)
     
  4. Vesper

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2011
    Messages:
    1,393
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wisconsin, The Land of Cheese and Beer
    That we just haven't found the "right" men yet. Psssh.
     
  5. Jinkies

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2011
    Messages:
    2,321
    Likes Received:
    47
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That the first response is "It's only a phase".... Right.. Of course it is..
     
  6. Jared

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 29, 2012
    Messages:
    875
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    "Are you going to start wearing a dress?" I was so mad when my mom said that. And that all gay men have AIDS.
     
  7. Andrew91

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2012
    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    As a bisexual, mine is that they think it means that you must be attracted to men and women equally. The only real relationship I've had so far has been with a girl, but I think I most likely prefer guys a little more than girls, as far as being prone to being attracted to them.
     
  8. FollowtheFreeman

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2012
    Messages:
    244
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Milwaukee, WI
    Bisexuals/Pansexuals don't exist.

    I can stand the hate, but to say that my own sexuality doesn't exist? That is where I draw the line.
     
  9. Yes! My dad thinks that, making it harder to come out to him.
     
  10. LailaForbidden

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2011
    Messages:
    719
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    IL
    All of the above. And when people say that bisexuals are vindictive whores that purposely play with someone's emotions for the sheer thrill of screwing someone over (figuratively). Yeah, it gets to me.
     
  11. redstormrising

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2011
    Messages:
    679
    Likes Received:
    1
    that if you're traditionally feminine-looking, you must be straight
     
  12. Owen

    In Loving Memory Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2007
    Messages:
    613
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    That we all have exaggerated personalities. This one goes one step beyond the misconception that we're all flamboyant and assumes that gay guys can be flamboyant, masculine, etc., but whatever we are, we have to be really flamboyant/masculine/etc. So if a guy is flamboyant, he's only gay if he's ridiculously so. And if he's masculine, he's only gay if he take it to machismo levels. So a lot of people have been surprised by the fact that I'm gay just because my personality is somewhat muted and subdued, because I'm not all that out there with who I am.
     
  13. BNQ2012

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2012
    Messages:
    129
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    Oh boy! This is a good one. When people find out I'm bi/queer, I tend to get the "you must be into group sex/threesomes" reaction or people automatically assume that I prefer men over women. Some people seem to think that all bi women identify as such because they want to fulfill the "lesbian" erotic fantasies of straight men. I think I'm going to slap the next straight guy who comes up with some variation on "Can I watch?" :bang:
     
  14. livinglifefree

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2012
    Messages:
    113
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    As a bisexual, I find one of the most annoying misconceptions to be that I can choose who I end up with so I should just choose to be with a man. Who the hell can help who they fall in love with? I can't seriously be expected to break up with a girl I am completely in love with because I just so happen to also be sexually attracted to men as well. Ignorance ruins my day.
     
  15. Pret Allez

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    6,785
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    The most offensive things I hear about multisexualities actually come from the gay and lesbian community, not the straight community. Here are some examples:

    1) I'm afraid you'll leave me for a person of the opposite sex or bisexuals can't be satisfied without both a man and a woman, "Could You Date a Bisexual?" threads on Empty Closets, and countless other examples. I have answered like four threads on this, and it gets old. I don't know why people think it's okay to voice this stuff. It's not even original, and it could be answered by a quick Google search, but the fact that people don't want to even do the research is so sad. The misconception proceeds from the assumption that bi and pan people are somehow uniquely bad about being promiscuous. Why is it that nobody is worried about their completely gay same-gender partners leaving them? It's a double standard only applied to us.

    2) You enjoy heterosexual privilege. The stupidity of this deserves no comment, but I'll be charitable and give it a little. The fact that everybody knows I'm queer the moment they hear me speak means that I don't benefit from a magical ability to pass as straight. Many other folks are also visibly queer, so to say that their mere desire for opposite-gender relationships means they have more privilege is a load of shit. We still endure harassment, teasing, ostracism, and violence like the rest of you. It's also pretty offensive in that it suggests that multisexuals are somehow less invested in the project of queer rights. Ya, I guess we all hate ourselves that much. :rolle:

    3) You have to be equally attracted to both sexes. What do you mean both? And it's gender, asshat, not sex. There's more than two genders. And no we don't have to be equally attracted. Multisexuality is not where you go to the sexuality buffet, and well, "I had a girl last week, so I guess it's got to be a guy this week, and maybe if I'm super saucy, I can get a little of both." Sexuality, like gender exists on a spectrum. And multisexuals occupy wildly different parts of those spectra.

    4) Our visibility is a slap in the face to you. This one was actually brought up by a user here who thought (and was not alone in thinking) that multisexuals should just let everyone assume they are gay. If we correct them, then we're implying we have a problem with the gay side of ourselves. Therefore by wanting to be recognized for who we are, we are throwing you and gays or lesbians under the bus altogether as if we want to "distance" ourselves from gays. We try to be close to gays and lesbians even though, as you might imagine, it takes a lot of patience and pain tolerance sometimes.

    I might think of more later.
     
    #15 Pret Allez, Oct 1, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2012
  16. Brenny

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2012
    Messages:
    376
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    US
    I hate that people start thinking it is okay to refer to me in female terms just because I am gay. Oh and especially how when guys accidentally touch me or I almost touch them they freak out as if we almost had some kind of sexual encounter. Just because our wrists bump doesn't mean I suddenly have a boner for you.

    Honey, you were the last person on my mind.
     
  17. OMG Yes!!! I see people make this assumption all the time.

    This happened when I was at an LGBT center. This guy, who was fully gay, said I "have it easier" because I'm bisexual. He implied it was for this reason when he said "oh, but you can still marry a woman"

    Well, these are very good points. :thumbsup:

    ^A thousand times this. :eusa_clap
     
  18. Ticklish Fish

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2012
    Messages:
    3,372
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Internet; H-town
    Please do.

    and on topic, i am not out yet. no misconceptions here.

    unless you want to hear the misconceptions because I am Asian. >_>
     
  19. Pret Allez

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    6,785
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I do, because frankly I think we can all benefit from a discussion of racism while we're at it.
     
  20. dairyuu

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2012
    Messages:
    131
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles. The straight part.
    The most annoying is, to me, that I am seen as attracted to every man I see (even though I'm probably the most asexual person I know). And the whole "redneck white trash family sees me as a pedophile rapist pervert" thing.