I've heard a lot of people say that since stereotypical physical signals are not always the best way to gauge someone's sexuality that we can revert to something else – something more fundamental: eye contact. They say that lesbians can "see it" in another girl's eye contact if she's gay. They claim that a lesbian might hold her gaze longer with you, or that she may look away quickly out of nervousness, or that you can feel this spark upon making eye contact with another lesbian. Personally, I don't see how this works. Especially since I'm shy and would be the first one to look away upon eye contact with an attractive girl, I can't even hold it long enough to "see" anything. And if there's any spark I feel, it's because I'm nervous and my stomach's probably flipping over. I can't possibly tell if it's a reciprocated feeling. Thoughts? Experiences with eye contact that set off your gaydar? :icon_wink
...Never happened with me o_o I hardly knew my friend was gay....probably because he wears glasses all the time (loljk). Although, I guess it's not only the eyes, but also the body like maybe the eyes get dreamy and the person get's more relaxed...it's just some people are focused more on eyes than body...
Eye contact does nothing for me. I've trained myself to do it because other people appreciate it, but I don't like it.
I use I contact in that, as a sub, I won't hold it with someone I'm attracted to. I look up and then down again multiple times. A dom who's attracted to me will usually keep looking straight at me. I don't think that eye contact is any good for identifying the people who aren't attracted to you, regardless of their orientation. They won't give you those signs.
The thing with eye contact, something I just may have realized (and I should test my theory), is that it might only be held one is attracted to the other. That's pretty much how I've been able to tell with the guys I spot out... I guess I'm pretty attractive :lol:
I have found that eye contact can be very miseading. I can only hope that what you say is true. It sure would make life a lot easier.
Yeah, I find eye contact to be unreliable though lots of sources I've read list this as a sign that someone is attracted to you or same-sex attracted in general. Maybe I'm just socially inept and reading the signs wrong. I often find myself staring at attractive women but oddly enough, no matter how many times they catch me doing it, they still think I'm straight. There have been times when I've thought a woman was staring at me, but I have never felt that it was a definitive indicator of interest. I always just assume they think I'm weird in some way. LOL
If a girl is looking at you in a sultry fashion that would probably be suspect, but considering all the different reasons and contexts in which there can be extended eye contact or someone looking away quickly, I'm not inclined to bite at this one as a general rule. There are specific ways people visually appraise each other that could be a signal if you catch someone doing it, but again - it's specific. Heterosexual people don't have a spark upon making eye contact with other heterosexuals to the extent of my knowledge, so I don't know why gays or lesbians would have one. These theories always strike me as a lot of personal experiences and conjecture hastily cobbled together without much behind it in a desperate attempt to crack the code of life, like it's some kind of foreign language manual or something where this = that and such-and-such = so-and-so.
Yes, wouldn't it?! :icon_redf If only that was all it took to spot out other LGBT people! ---------- Post added 3rd Oct 2012 at 06:01 PM ---------- Yeah, I've seen a lot of sources say this, which is why I posed the question here on EC. I was wondering if anyone had real experience with it. But me too, I usually assume that people just think I'm weird or I must be doing something odd to be attracting attention. If I'm talking to a girl I find attractive and she holds eye contact, I get too nervous and look away. Then I get paranoid that she might see my nervousness, then I become more awkward! :icon_sad: Haha. And smiles are killers, too. We have to remember that just because someone smiles at us, that doesn't mean they like us that way! As much as we wish... ---------- Post added 3rd Oct 2012 at 06:05 PM ---------- Yeah, I wasn't claiming it to be a general rule...though I wish it worked as one. People who hold eye contact could just be more confident and those who look away tend to be more shy; this is one possibility that is much more likely than indications of attraction. True. Straight people don't look at each other and feel a spark, so why would we? It's just that when I have eye contact with someone I find attractive, I feel a "spark"...which is just nervousness. So just because I feel something there doesn't make it indicative of some sort of mutual connection. I think the reason why we have so many of these "codes" is because we're so desperate to find out if the people we like could be LGBT as well.
I don't think it's a good indicator for sexuality, but it is a good indicator for a person's personality. If they hold a gaze, they're probably a good listener because they're paying close attention, if they look away they're probably shy and reserved, if they look rapidly from left to right it could mean they're lying or they're anxious/confused. Those are the things I think you could tell just from eye contact, but sexuality, it's more than just that.
Am I the only one who thinks this works? I don't think you can tell at first glance, but if they look back again, and again, it usually shows that they're interested. I love using eye contact to be flirtatious.
Eye contact CAN be used to be flirtatious. Usually it's not though. With the girl I like, I look into her eyes intently, and I refuse to be the first to look away to assert my dominance and confidence and show that I'm listening carefully. Plus, I know she'll look away first because she's more shy than me lol but there have been times when we looked into each others eyes for almost an uncomfortable amount of time, and I thought I felt something, but that was probably just me being hopeful.
i try to avoid it. I don't like eye contact, and people who try to hold it creep me the fuck out. I get far more out of listening to people's voices
I was never able to look people in the eye while talking to them until I came out to myself recently. This is not a metaphor btw. In the months since then I've learnt two things about this new concept, 1. that women make more eye contact during conversation than men, 2. that when you get flirtatious eye contact, you'll know it when you see it.
Yeah, that's exactly how I feel. It's just me getting nervous, and it's not an indicator of how she feels.
