Adoption Information

Hey There!

So, I'm a big fan of adoption, I've done a lot of research into myself, but I'm not a professional. Consider that my disclaimer, lol.

There are three main types of adoptions (That I'm aware of) that happen in the US; private, international, domestic. Private would be if you knew someone who was looking for a home for their (usually unborn) child; you would have to contact a lawyer, and make the arrangements yourself, so if you had a close friend who wanted you to have the baby, this would be a private adoption. Some of the requirements that I've heard are along the lines of "Single women or Married couples, where the father is more than 45 years older than the child, and the mother is no more than 35 years older than the child."

International adoptions are adoptions where the child is from another country. The process from being adopted to receiving a child I believe takes around a year; there will be home studies, meetings, evaluations, and you will be referred a child. Different countries have different additional processes; eg, my teacher adopted from China, she made one trip to China to pick up her daughter, and everything before that was done in the US. Russian adoptions, however, require several visits to Russia, where you meet the child, fill out paperwork, go to court to get files in order, etc. This varies by country.

Domestic adoptions are where you adopt a child who parents are in the US. Here, a letter is written to the birth mother, who then decides where she would like her baby placed. There are homestudies and evaluations, but how quickly you receive the child depends on the mother; she may be looking for an older couple, a couple who already has a child, etc. Also, I have heard that there are more black children who need placing than there are children of other races, so being open increases your chances. From the countries that I've researched, it seems that only Domestic adoptions allow gay couples to adopt, and again, that's at the mother's discretion.


There are also two important differences between the three. With international adoption, you will be referred a child who is already born; in the other adoptions, the child is unborn. The mother gives birth, and then surrenders the child, but there is something like a 24 hour period where she can change her mind; it is possible for that to happen, but I have heard that changes DO NOT usually happen.

The second important difference is that in Private and Domestic adoptions, adoptions are considered closed, semi-open, and open. Closed adoptions are where the adoptive family is not given any contact information from the birth mother, so that once the adoption is complete, there is no contact between the two. With semi-open adoptions, the agency/lawyers have the contact info, and contact is done through them. With open adoptions, the birth mother/parents have the contact information of each other, and keep in touch. With International adoptions, they are all closed (I believe); with Private and Domestic, it is up to the birth mother.

Now, on to "Household Adoptions."

Again, I'm not an adoption professional, but I don't quite think this is a possibility. For international adoptions, the countries seem to look for married couples primarily, followed by single females. Private adoptions might be more flexible, and for Domestic adoptions, I wouldn't hold my breath either. You might consider having one individual adopt a child as a single parent, but the biggest problem you'll run into would be custody.

So, consider this: I lived with my mom and step dad as a minor. My mom had custody of me; if something happened to her, my father could take my step dad to court and say "I want custody." The court would probably grant it to him, as he is my biological father. NOW, before that, if my step dad adopted me, and my father brought him to court, my step dad would now be my legal dad, and thus could keep custody of me.

OR consider this: Jane Lynch the actress is married to a woman we'll just call Mrs. Lynch. Mrs. Lynch was previously married to Not-Jane, and they had two daughters; they each gave birth to one, and then adopted the other child. So there is Mrs. Lynch's biological daughter, and Not-Jane's biological daughter. Mrs. Lynch and Not-Jane then got divorced, and Not-Jane claimed custody of her biological daughter. Mrs. Lynch is now fighting for visitation rights for her non-biological daughter. I don't know WHY this is, since Mrs. Lynch is legally the mother of her non-biological daughter, but perhaps Not-Jane's new husband adopted her as well. Not sure. But it's important to note that custody battles can be HORRIBLE.

So, that's all I know. If someone finds an error in this info, please correct me, I'd hate to give false information.

 

I know in Michigan, a couple must be married to adopt. Current marriage law in Michigan restricts that to a man and a woman.

 

That was all extremely helpful and I would like to thank you so very much for taking the time to tell me everything. There was information both new and old there, so I'm glad you responded.

Though, while I was reading, I started wondering... all the scenarios were based on children who were either unborn or still had a living mother. So I'm now curious as to how the adoption would proceed for an orphaned child.

I'm assuming that if their parents aren't alive that they would fall by default to the next living relative, but if they have no other living relatives, or if those alive aren't willing to take responsibility for them, what would happen in the case of someone wanting to adopt them?

What sort of adoption would this fall under? And would it make it easier or more difficult for a gay couple or a single parent to gain custody?

Well keep in mind that there are no longer orphanages. So it is most likely that, as you said, an orphaned child would go to relatives. The second scenario would be for an orphaned child to go to a foster home. Children can be adopted into the family that is fostering, and I even heard that it is very easy to foster a child, BUT not only orphans go to foster homes. Children from troubled families go into foster care as well, and in those cares it is sometimes a temporary situation until the child's biological family is once again able to care for it.

What I've HEARD is that it is easier to gain custody of an older child, but those adoptions tend to fall through, since the child is often dealing with things the new family is not prepared for. So for example, say a 5 year is orphaned, no relatives take it in; a family could foster the child, and adopt him through the foster system. HOWEVER, the family may instead end up fostering a child whose mother is in jail, and custody would return to the mother once she leaves jail. This is less likely with a child 10 and up, but again, they don't always work out.

BUT please keep in mind I do NOT know that much about fostering, so I can't verify that this post is accurate. I can't help you too much here, sorry!

To answer your other question, about adoption, I'd say it's a 50/50 shot. A single woman has more options, as she can adopt from a few other countries, but international adoptions are often more expensive than domestic adoptions. If a birth mother is looking at two dossiers for parents, one with a single mother, one with a gay couple, it's purely choice. She might prefer a two parent home, may not be comfortable with a gay couple raising her child, or might not mind either situation.