RIP, Chase, I'm gonna miss you buddy.

It had been a bad day. I had sat there for hours, I didn't cry though, he wouldn't have wanted it. I was the first to arrive and the last to leave, the grass was dry, I was sure he would've complained if he were in my position, that son of a bitch.

The service was about two hours and thirty minutes. I was there on time. There were so many people, I'd never met any of his friends, only his family; everyone was crying, they didn't know that the guy in the casket didn't really care about them.

After thirty minutes, people were allowed to tell stories about their experiences with him. I remembered every single one of them, because he had told me in great detail, what fun events happened with his friends.

No one knew his secret, only myself and one other, but that other wasn't there. Chase was gay. He had feelings for other men. He had told me this ten years ago, it didn't matter, he was my best friend-- my brother.

"Hey, Joseph, after I die, at my funeral, can you go up on the podium or whatever is there and tell everyone my secret for me? I just can't find anyone else reliable enough."

I agreed.

My wife was one of Chase's best friends, I never told her, not for the eight years we had been together. Chase wanted to tell her, but he was too afraid he would never see me again. My wife, Alexa, was very jealous of females, Chase was afraid that she would ban me from seeing him.
Chase was so afraid of never seeing me again, because be was in love with me, he constantly told me. He would always tell me that there was nobody like me in the entire world, and that it saddened him that I wasn't gay.*
He eventually got over the fact that he never would be with me, but what really hurt him was the hollowness inside.

Chase would go to different places, looking for love, he had found a couple of relationships, but those all just ended really badly, and Chase was hurt, every single time.

Well, it was about that time, I had to suck up my fear of public speaking and do my friend the honor of telling his family and friends his secret.

"Hi everyone-- I'm Joseph, I'm Chase's best friend. Now, before any of you get angry at me for saying this, because you thought he was your best friend, fine. Let me rephrase that. Hi, I'm Joseph. Chase was my brother, and anyone here who thinks they really knew him, well, are completely wrong.

Damn. I think I misspoke, these are people from Chase's school from when he was in college... they probably think I'm an idiot-- whatever.

"Chase and I had been friends for sixteen years. We started out as friends while he was in middle school and I was still in the 6th grade.*

This isn't important to everyone so I'll just get to the end."

I'm fucking up-- I can't speak correctly, I'm probably offending some people. Damn it. It's almost over.

"Chase was very smart. You guys know this. You all also know he had your back, he wouldn't leave you hanging in the dark alley to die, he would risk his life to make sure you got out of there alive. Chase--"

Fuck. I'm about to cry. FUCK.

"Chase-- Chase was my best friend, and he had to hide who he was because the world can't grow up-- because you all can't grow up."

I need to calm down.*

*Alexa then grabbed my arm, I was looking down the whole time, she could tell I was going to cry, she ran up to me and grabbed my arm while I was on the podium*

"I'm sorry. I'm just going to say it. Everyone. Chase was gay. And he was stupid because I don't think you guys cared, you are all probably hurt because he never told you, he just wanted things to stay the way they were. He wanted to keep his friends, he loved his friends."

*as I left the podium with tears in my eyes people applauded-- I heard the subtle whispering of people saying "I knew it!", whatever.*

After the entire service we went to bury the body.*

I had left right after that and went with my wife and daughter to Chase's gravesite. My daughter was devastated, her Uncle Chase was gone, I explained to her that he's in a better place, but Chase had been woken up, he believed in no such place as he did 10 years ago.

Alexa was shocked. I explained to her why Chase never told her. She immediately started to yell at me and cry, I just embraced her, taking her anger and pain away.

I sat at his grave for hours. Just sat there in the grass, my suit was wet from the dew on the grass, but I didn't care, he was my brother, I loved him.

My wife took my daughter home. It was getting late, everyone else but a few people had left, they stayed, drunk, telling stories about Chase. I didn't interfere, I just kept to myself. After everyone was gone I felt tears just rushing to my eyes.

This was the hardest day in my life. Chase was the person I went to if I had a rough day, or if something had made me angry or sad. He always made things better. He couldn't pick up the pieces this time. I know I'm married and my wife is there for me, but I just feel a hole, he's just gone and it hurts.*

I love you, Chase. I really do. Rest in Peace, my friend.

 

I forgot a key detail that this is fiction.


Ugh my bad, it's a type of writing I'm trying for the first time from my friend's POV. I'm "Chase", and he's "Joseph".


Damnit I'm sorry guys I hope I didn't make anyone really sad. Please don't be angry at me .




So sorry guys .

---------- Post added 8th Oct 2012 at 06:13 AM ----------

Damn sorry

 

Sorry guys