Do outer appearances / actions make someone gay

as much as stereotype goes. I don't think so lol.
I am kind of a nerdy person but I don't watch Star Trek or Star Wars or play WoW or DND.

sexuality is something that an individual identifies themselves with. And stereotype is something a society use to generalize a group of people...

 

I think that being more of a flamboyant gay helped me to come out earlier and come to terms with my identity.

 

^ That thought is actually not an uncommon one. Usually people who recently come out will try a bit harder to fit into whatever group they are identifying with. Its usually short lived and people later realized that they don't have to change themselves to fit it, but it is there for some people. Nothing good or bad about it. Do whatever works for you

The question is, why does being less feminine have you questioning your sexuality?

 

I don't think that stereotypes make anyone more comfortable, be they the model of one or the one projecting the stereotypes by buying into them. If anything, they make people (both straight and gay) more uncomfortable because we're always, be it subconsciously or knowingly, afraid of appearing as though we have traits that are branded as undesirable in society due to stereotypes. It creates lots of fear and self-loathing in people who are labeled because of their appearance or actions.

 

I think they're only helpful for people who fit the stereotypes. People who don't end up questioning themselves more, struggle with not being "gay enough" or "trans enough", try to change themselves to fit the image, and have a harder time coming out. So no, I think that the stereotypes are bad.

 

yeah, it wouldn't be that much of a surprise for the people around them because people probably would be suspecting it anyway from the way they act already. i bet you nobody's going to be shocked if richard simmons was to come out and say he's gay.

 

If I'm not mistaken he's quite open about his sexuality. I specifically remember him talking about being gay while making an appearance on Ellen back when the "It Gets Better" movement was taking off.

/OFF TOPIC

 

Im going through this right now. I am only out to three people and trying to ease my way out. I am not a stereotypical gay at all but I want to make it so it's not such a shock when I come out so I am sort of fulfilling some of the stereotypes.

 

I voted "no" but I have to explain my answer, I guess, since no one else has said it yet.

The more flamboyant gays are more obvious at a younger age and don't have the "luxury" of a closet to hide in, and so they catch flak earlier than a more stereotypically masculine gay would, and then learn how to deal with the insinuated guilt and attempting shaming that goes on much sooner and are then just generally stronger and more resistant to it as time progresses than others would be, assuming they don't commit suicide first, honestly.

I don't think that manufacturing false traits that you don't really posses or are interested in is going to make you a more secure gay or lesbian. It might make you fit in more with certain LGBT crowds, but I don't think you would have genuine self-confidence if you're just pretending to be someone you're not, which is the more important thing.

 

I don't, actually, if you are forcing such traits I'd think it will only make you more insecure of who you really are and stuff.

I do think, though, that if you just are a more feminine as a guy or masculine as a girl (and I mean not forcing such traits), coming out and accepting it might be easier because there will be people who assume you're gay and it is less of a shock for anyone.

 

Well, I knew of only one gay person in my life and that was my late brother in law. His boyfriend was angry at him one night and decided to give him the AIDS virus on his 19th birthday. So I only knew him for a short time, as he passed away at 38. But he was very stereotypical and didn't care what others thought of him.

He was the only guy I ever met who said to me, when I first saw him " I could flip you gay in one hr" lol. what a goofball

I bet you he is laughing his ass off now.

A lot of people that I have come out to have been really surprised that I didn't know I was gay until now.

I guess my gayness *lol* was peaking out now and then the last couple of yrs.

 

let me clarify what i said. I am starting to do things that i wouldn't have done before but they are things that i have always wanted to do but didn't because I was afraid of what people would do and say.

 

Being "flamboyant" (rather, trying to be), really made me push my boundaries of my comfort zone. Ultimately, I'd like to think that helped me come to terms with being gay. If I could accept myself as "flamboyant," then I could see myself as gay with more ease. I vote "yes."

 

No. Fucking other people of the same gender and liking it makes you gay.

 

i think it makes it harder if you don't fit the stereotype. Because then everyone wonders.. really? How? it's not a good time

 

he has???? i actually googled on the internet about him coming out as gay and i don't see anything about that at all.