What is the best ting to say when someone asks you if you are gay without giving away your sexualliy, but not blatently lying? Maybe something that immediately change the topic, or makes a joke.
I always go with, "Unless I'm coming on to you or I'm coming on you, does it really matter?" It's funny, slightly rude (which shows them that you are NTBFW, if necessary), and keeps the subject kind of light. Some people read into dodging the question as hiding secretly being gay, but that's their issue.
My common answers: "Are you?" "Why." "Oh." "Who knows anymore." "Do you feel I am?" "How does that make you feel?" "Fuck off."
Although the above replies fit your criteria of not giving away your sexuality, but not blatantly lying, I feel like most people would take avoidance as a yes. As Black Cat said, that's their issue, but I would stay away from the really defensive or sarcastic responses if you're intent on keeping it a secret. If you seem bothered by it too much, it looks really suspicious. I would calmly ask something like "Would it matter if I were?" It gives off the impression that you're comfortable with your orientation, and don't care what others think either way.
It's sort of a no-win situation, because any answer other than an immediate "I'm straight" will likely be interpreted, if the person has the slightest amount of savvy, as a dodge, which pretty much gives the answer. Personally, I find it amusing to see the tap dancing that some celebrities do (or used to do) when asked the question; Ricky Martin and Adamo Ruggiero (from DiGrassi) both gave non-response-responses like "Well, I prefer to let the audience have their own experience of me and take from that what they will, because I don't want to interfere with the audience's perception", which was about as graceful as one could be, but also totally gave them away. With individuals, I get that people may not be ready to own it (and for that reason, I consider it somewhat rude to directly ask, though I don't care if someone asks me), but I don't think there's a really good way to dodge or evade the question without the other person figuring out. The one solution I have heard of that seems to work well... because it misdirects and intentionally makes them think you said something else... is to go "Oh wow! That's interesting! What made you think that?", but to pull it off, you have to be able to sound credibly and genuinely surprised. And then, even if they say something really obvious, you can just laugh it off with "Wow, that's crazy. I guess I never thought of it that way. I can see why someone might think that." This has the effect of making the person think you directly denied it, but, of course, you didn't. However... since they will think you directly said "no", they may later call you on it when you do come out.
If it's a friend, I'd just say "don't you think I would have told you by now?", and if it were someone you didn't really know I'd just say "yeah dude you caught me the secret's out" all sarcastic and shit
Love it! The only time anyone ever asked me directly was when I was in grade 8, and I was beyond terrified. I tried to act calm and say "No...." but it was obvious they knew.
well... to be honest with you, there's really no way around it. i'd just say no. i've had people ask me that question in the past and i just told em "no".
