Telling a straight crush how you feel?

Well.. you kind of have to weigh the situation. I was attracted to my friend, the attraction surprisingly went away when I told him I was gay. We had some rather, "close calls" with each other in that department but I never pursued anything because I wasn't sure if I was dealing with a guy who's curious or a guy who's content sexually. Anyways, I told him I was gay. He told me he was 100 percent straight. I didn't think it was appropriate for me to tell him I had a crush on him, I let it play out first and now I can see, he won't and hasn't changed toward me. So, laughingly, I think I could manage to tell him one day that I had a crush on him. I have told him that I think he's handsome. It flatters a straight guy actually when they are open to having gay friends. They like to feel wanted no matter who it is. If it can help their self esteem, do eet! lol.

 

It really depends on the circumstances. By-and-large, it's probably not a good idea, as there's not much good that can come of it. But I can't say you should never do it, because I've done it myself. I guess what makes my case special is that I had already asked my crush if he dated guys (and thus already implied that I liked him), and our conversation wasn't an "I have a crush on you," conversation, but a "My feelings for you are stronger than I thought they were, and it hurts that you'll never feel the same way, but I don't want to lose our friendship to those feelings, so I'm hoping that by telling you this, it'll make it easier for me to move on," conversation. Hard as it was to have that conversation, I'm really glad I did, because thus far, it has made things a lot easier for me, in that it doesn't hurt as much to be around him.

So yes, sometimes leveling with your crush can be a good thing. But it really does depend on the circumstances. I would say you should only do it if you have a reason for doing it, like trying to make the feelings less painful. Because it isn't always the case that there's nothing to gain by telling your straight crush how you feel, but you really have to be honest in answering that question of, "Do I really have something to gain by telling him this?"

Remember that most of your family members are straight, so there was always the chance that if they had told the subject of their affections that they felt the way they did, things could have ended differently. That isn't the case with straight crushes.

 

I've told both of my major straight crushes and it really helped me to get over them. I voted yes.

 

I've only had one major straight crush, that lasted for several years. I didn't tell her, because I know that, even though she's ok with my sexuality, she is still not at a level of comfort where me telling her wouldn't impact our relationship negatively. I think for the most part, it's better not to. Crushes can fade, I'd rather keep my feelings quiet and not risk losing their friendship.

 

I chose yes because I think that in some circumstances yes you should tell that straight friend how you feel. If you've had this crush for years and you're wallowing in it, but you've tried everything you can to get over it than I think you should. There are always people who think they are straight and then they meet someone of the same sex and it completely turns their world upside down. I think it would be better to be totally honest than to miss the opportunity and wonder about it later.

And when or if they do reject you it would hopefully make it easier to get over them.

 

I've had multiple straight crushes and I've told them all. The only reason why I told them though was because I knew that they would stop being so comfortable around me and they would back away from me, which is what I wanted because being around them was hard and painful for me. Having a crush on a straight person is like buying peanuts for me (I'm allergic)... I really love peanuts and peanut butter, but I know that I cant have them and I will never be able to have them so instead I just buy cashews, which are just as good.

 

For me, the answer was no. I've only ever crushed on one straight guy and to this day he doesn't know anything about it. I just didn't think that anything good would come of it, not that I think he would have reacted badly or anything but why risk ruining a friendship for no reason? It's the same as if I were crushing on a guy who had a boyfriend, or was significantly older than me to the point where I wouldn't feel comfortable dating him - nothing is ever going to come of the crush because the guy is unavailable for whatever reason, so why tell him?

 

I've never had a straight crush. It seems they're automatically blocked as an option to crush on in my head.

However, if I was in the situation where I did have one I wouldn't tell them. Now, under special circumstances i.e not telling them is killing me, or knowing that they would be 100% fine with it; I might. But generally no.
I'd suspect just knowing they're straight would dissolve the feelings almost immediately for me.

 

I wouldn't, unless you know for sure that they will definitely not react in a negative way, especially if the crush is a friend. Telling them can flatter them and it can make things easier. On the contrary, however, it can destabilise the friendship, make things more difficult and could even lead them to avoid you entirely.

In the end, you've got to weigh up the options. But I know when my straight crush found out I liked him, he didn't talk to me for months after (someone told him).

 

personally i wouldnt but theres nothing wrong with harmless flirting

 

I wouldn't tell them if I had a crush on them because everything just gets awkward and in high school things just spread rapidly. If its like your best friend or something maybe you can tell him and hope that he accepts it. I think most guys who are straight are homophobic because they don't want to ruin their reputation.

 

I probably would, so i could move on...but I think it depneds on the people and what's going on .

 

I think it's best to tell them. I told my best friend that I was in love with him, and he took it pretty well and let me down like a nice guy (though he's a prick now....). It's better to tell them, even if they shoot you down, because at least then, you won't have to live your life wondering what could've been.

And yeah, like said above, its quite a big ego boost for straight guys.

 

I'm not really sure. If you want to, then you must be prepared for the consequences. I am madly in love with my best friend, but he's straight and has no idea I'm bi, or gay, or whatever. It's tough, but I don't know if it will make things easier if I come clean.

 

I put yes but it depends. Years ago I had crushe on straight friend. It took me year but I eventually told her and she was ok with it but she told me all we would be is friends. I have had others but they never knew. So it depends.