Is it rude to ask someone if they're gay?

I wouldn't say rude, but if they're not gay you might get a pretty negative reaction, at best it would make things pretty awkward between you.

Better to steer the conversation subtly towards the subject and judge on his reactions. I think it's best to be pretty certain he's gay before you ask.

 

Yes. If you want a violent explosion, yes. Not recommended lol. that's a bad question. You need to think I'll start with something about myself first. You need to start by saying "i'm gay" --- pause for response. or.. "I'm gay, what about you?" You know this. You're in the closet, so if someone asked you if you were gay, would you tell them or would you shy away? It would startle you right? It's just a bad, bad question lol.

 

No, if it's asked of someone you think is available in a setting that you reasonably believe to be unthreatening to him.

 

No. But people will take it as "rude" because, in high school, the new thing is asking other kids "are you gay?" to make them feel bad (it's happen to me a couple of times). It depends on your intentions, which by your post seems good, but people might not know that.

 

It's generally not polite, there are some exceptions, mainly at events that are more open and accepting.

 

In most cases, it's not appropriate to ask someone out of the blue, "are you gay?" It's more permissible, say, drunk, if LGBT topic comes up, or if they come out to you/you come out to them. In the last part, it's more of a matter of trust, so that's not really ok to ask, really. Make sure they're a trustworthy friend before you try that.

 

Out of the blue, yes it is. Don't know how old you are but some people may take it as an insult. There was actually a fight that happened in my school because someone accused this girl she was a lesbian (she's just a tomboy, very aggressive). People may have negative reactions to it.

I say just talk to them for a bit. Then maybe you can ask him later on.

 

There are some exceptions, but most of the time it is considered rude.

 

I think it's rude because you're planning on asking them but likely wouldn't be okay with someone asking you. Kind of a double-standard, hm?

Unless you would be okay with being confronted, but then, why are you closeted?

 

I think it can be rude to ask someone if they are gay. It would most likely make the other person feel really uncomfortable and I know I wouldn't want to be responsible for them feeling that way.

 

I don't think its rude at all, but you have to keep in mind that to a lot of people they are very sensitive about who knows and why.

Usually asking "do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?" or simply assuming the other person is gay without asking tends to work better than just asking. You can also tell a lot from the person's reactions whether or not they are comfortable telling you or not.

If you are in high school then I would only do it when you two are alone.

 

I don't think its rude, I asked a guy a while ago was he gay because he didn't had if he like males or females on facebook or really never talked about girls.

I said can i ask you a question with out offending you? He said sure and i asked him he simply said no and he asked me a few mins later.

 

I'm going to second Budder's comment. If you're not ready to tell anyone who asks you that you're gay, it might not be a good idea to start asking other people.

Lex

 

I don't think it's rude, but some people may have a worse reaction than others. Easiest way to figure it out without being rude is to talk to him about girls, ask him about having girlfriends or anything, if he's hesitant to answer, he's most likely gay, but if he could tell you girls he dated, then he's straight. He can't get offended that way because it's a normal kind of question that won't hint that you're trying to figure out his sexuality.

 

I got asked that by a complete stranger the other day... That was offensive. Getting asked by someone I'm closer to isn't much of an issue. Even though I am not really open about it, I give off signs and I'm sure people just happen to be curious or whatever.

I think the easier way be asked in my experience is to be asked something like, "do you like [insert name]?" or "do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?" even bringing up LGBT subjects and expressing your positive views for it as others have said is a good start.

 

no. unless they are really curious about you.

 

the only time its bad to ask is when you ask someone who isnt out and doesnt want to be because your forcing them to lie. but for me if someoen asks i'll say yes even though im not exactly out

 

The question itself isn't really rude its more of the way people take it. I think if you say the question in the right tone and context people will act accordingly. I think it will make an awkward relationship between the two of you in any way you say it because its a really hard thing to deal with(We all know that!). How the question is taken would most likely be the same one your communities culture would be. I think the person would say no unless they really trust you. It is definitely a question that tests trust.

 

Some people do find it rude, but you could word it differently. You could try asking what they identify as, sexual orientation-wise; it sounds a bit more polite and you could start it off by saying that they don't have to answer if it's too personal.