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Are feminine gays slightly frowned upon by other gays as they set/fall intstereotypes

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Olivier, Oct 13, 2012.

  1. Olivier

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    I do consider myself a feminine gay, like when I'm out I plan to drag etc, but would this make me slightly more judged by other gay boys? Or would they not care? Would they find people like me annoying? And simply as a walking stereotype?
     
  2. J Snow

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    Re: Are feminine gays slightly frowned upon by other gays as they set/fall intstereot

    To some maybe, but if they are really going to judge you for it they probably aren't someone you should really value the opinions of.
     
  3. Pat

    Pat
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    Re: Are feminine gays slightly frowned upon by other gays as they set/fall intstereot

    I guess it really depends on the venue. I'm not scene in any way, so I can only speak about apps. And the answer is.. Yes. They are judged for being more feminine. It actually seems like no one wants a feminine guy on those apps, they are all looking for a masculine guy. Being a masculine guy, what has attracted me to men is their masculinity. So for me, I wouldn't be able to date a feminine guy, but I wouldn't mind being friends. The thing that it comes down to for me is how are you feminine? If it's in a form of expression that helps you be who you are, then you should continue to do that. My conservative side doesn't really mesh with people who are TOO expressive. That goes for black people also who feel like they have to portray some image of being a gangster or ghetto.. (pet peeve) or because you're preppy, you have to act like it. I just like everything in moderation, but you can't do anything because of what other people say. The reality that I know isn't very warm for feminine guys, but then you just gotta stay confident because there's lots of masculine men who seek out feminine men. :slight_smile: p.s. where you live also matters. In georgia there's lots of feminine men and I don't see any of them balled up in a corner of pity lol.. you have to be confident with who you are at all times.
     
  4. Owen

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    Re: Are feminine gays slightly frowned upon by other gays as they set/fall intstereot

    Are there gay guys who frown on feminine guys? Sure there are, no one can deny that. But no matter what you look like or how you act, someone is going to frown upon it. There are feminine guys out there who frown on masculine guys just as strongly because they think that masculine guys are ashamed of their sexuality and are hiding their "true selves". And even if you were neither masculine nor feminine, there would probably be people frowning on your for being a "fence-sitter". (It's a stupid debate, the masculine vs. feminine one.)

    As long as you're feminine because that's what comes most naturally to you, because that's what reflects how you see yourself, then anyone who takes issue with it isn't worth your time or thought. In the wise words of Kevin Gnapoor...

    [​IMG]
     
  5. bubblyhappy

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    Re: Are feminine gays slightly frowned upon by other gays as they set/fall intstereot

    Actually as a femme twink, I kinda like it because I get left alone most of the time. Guys do not hit on me often unlike a gay masculine guy who gets hookups a lot by other masculine men. Isn't that the current gay dating trend? masc 4 masc. So actually occassionally gay men do flirt with me mostly on a cute level, but I get my piece of mind which is awesome. Its the sugar daddies who are after me, two older men in their 50s actually danced with me at this dance I attended at my local lgbt center.
    I don't think as a feminine gay guy, I don't get frowned upon, we're just left alone most of the time, since masculine gay men are considered desirable by the gay community.
     
  6. BudderMC

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    Re: Are feminine gays slightly frowned upon by other gays as they set/fall intstereot

    I've never used apps, so take this with a grain of salt, but the way I understand it is that the "app world" is definitely more masculine-dominated because well, masculine gays aren't going to go around finding other masculine gays easily, strictly because masculine gays aren't obviously stereotypical. If you want a feminine gay, you can probably pick him out much more easily because he stands out in a crowd.

    The other thing is that apps are more of a "down-low" type of dating method - those closeted guys who refuse to come out or refuse to identify with the rest of the "gay" community but still want to find guys to hook up with. I'm not saying they're all like that, but you're more likely to find that type of guy on an app than in a club. It's almost like a mobile Craigslist, IMO.
     
  7. Pat

    Pat
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    Re: Are feminine gays slightly frowned upon by other gays as they set/fall intstereot

    Pretty much true. I have them to kill time mostly. It's very difficult as a masculine guy to find other guys that are gay. The guys that I know are gay aren't attractive to me and the ones i'm attracted to are very difficult to tell from straight. I use them because i've actually made some really good friendships that way. I would say that a majority of guys I talk to belong here, somewhere where they can see people in similar parts of their self discovery. I do intend on branching out but no one will go with me?! I'm not the type to sit in a gay bar by myself. I can adapt very well to situations, but in some social things I kinda need the support of a wing man/girl.
     
  8. Level75

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    Re: Are feminine gays slightly frowned upon by other gays as they set/fall intstereot

    Problem with this world is that too many people mind the ways others harmlessly act.
     
  9. awesomeyodais

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    Re: Are feminine gays slightly frowned upon by other gays as they set/fall intstereot

    Keep in mind the "other gays" can be over-the-top-fem, butch construction workers, computer geeks, extreme sports athletes, average joe suburban middle-age office worker, they come in all shapes sizes and combinations. So depending on which subgroup you're hanging out with, being fem may be frowned upon, ok, don't matter, absolutely required honey, the list goes on... Hopefully it's a group that doesn't really care which subgroup you may fall into/identify with, and just likes you because of everything else that makes you a great individual.
     
  10. Kidd

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    Re: Are feminine gays slightly frowned upon by other gays as they set/fall intstereot

    Feminine gays are looked down upon in the LGBT community, even here on EC. Occasionally a thread will pop up in the anonymous section bashing them. "If only they weren't such flamers! I hate that everyone thinks I love pink and theater and Gaga! It's all their fault!!!!!" It's usually something along those lines. And then it inevitably turns into a flame war until a mod comes by and locks it. The only gays that have a legitimate and outright hateful problem with effeminate gays are the closet cases, quite frankly. And I say fuck them, fuck them all. Be yourself.
     
  11. bubblyhappy

    bubblyhappy Guest

    Re: Are feminine gays slightly frowned upon by other gays as they set/fall intstereot

    I love wearing tee shirts that say PINK or LOVE on them. I hope I don't get bashed by EC. j/k. lol. I don't like broadway theatres ( i fell asleep when i went with my family to one in nyc) though, I prefer scifi flicks. I don't like showtunes, but I love girly pop bands. I guess there are many types of fem stereotypes that other gay people in the community see that they frown upon.
     
  12. Pat

    Pat
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    Re: Are feminine gays slightly frowned upon by other gays as they set/fall intstereot

    that's my boy :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: lmao