Overwhelmed

Ur confidence and socializing will improve over time, don't worry about the little things in life though! Calm down and take a deep breath! U will get there when u get there! U should push urself when ever u get the chance to talk to them, then u can start sitting with them and they could surprise u by being really nice its time to stop living in fear and start being brave and proud! Don't worry what people think or say about u and don't think everyone will judge you either! Just have fun in life and play is cool and easy going good luck!!

 

1) How do you know they're thinking that? Have they said it to you?

2) All those posts I've made about "you'll just make friends naturally by spending time around people" doesn't hold true for EVERY group. If people really don't click with you, there's no sense feeling like you need to make friends with them. Don't worry about it too much.

3) If you do want to make an effort, then I'll repeat something I've suggested before: approach them with another purpose in mind. If you're going to them because you, say, have a specific question to ask, it allows you to break the ice without having to approach them under the idea of "I just want to socialize", which for many people is really daunting. And then, if you feel it doesn't work, you can finish whatever you were "doing" by them and return to your lunch.

4) I've never been to a professional, so maybe someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but they can't prescribe you anything to "fix" your social skills. They'll provide you with advice and tools and things like some of us are doing here, but ultimately it is up to you to take the plunge and do some socializing yourself. Social skills are largely a learned behaviour, and everyone knows the best way to learn something is through practice, right? Give it a try; if you fall down, get back up again. You can do it.

 

Ive had my job for nearly two years now and i still mostly sit in the corner on my own in the canteen. I do occasionally sit with people and have a laugh, but it took me over a year to get comfortable with the occasional social situation. Maybe you just need the time to actually get used to these people in the working situation? i know with me, even though ive been there for so long now, i still get awkward in conversations and ive found that i tend to need to be doing something with my hands when in a group of people, strange i know, so i usually end up playing on my phone and ignoring people lol. It is much easier for me to socialise outside in the smoking area because my hands are busy with my cigarettes and i tend to be much more outgoing. Maybe if you find your little comfort like my hand movements it'll get easier?

 

I can be socially awkward at times also. I feel like because i'm there, there's pressure for me to say or do something to pull attention to myself. In my non awkward moments, I attribute it to being laid back, in a state of listening. Then I can digest what someone is saying to me and give the appropriate response based on the question. If I rush, it sounds slurred or it's just me saying some shit that has NOTHING to do with what I was asked. So become more of an observer and try to speak when spoken to. Practice speaking to someone with the phone in your hand maybe, but not actually picking it up. If you just observe people, you'll fit in with them a lot easier because you're calculating what you will say and at some point, as you become comfortable, conversation will begin to flow naturally.

 

You don't need a boyfriend to be happy. You do need your fair share of friends. You have so much to offer someone else. I had to learn that myself. I often say to myself, why the HELL do people even like me, they gravitate to me almost and i'm not even that outgoing! I like to stay home, I don't do bars or loud places for that matter. I just like to chill. It's not about whether or not you want to do it really. It really does open doors for your business and personal life to be social. People in the work place want to know you before they promote you. They really do. That's pretty much what the corporate world is all about. You don't necessarily have to even be the most skilled or most qualified person to get a job when you're likable. And in your personal life, you meet some really nice people when you just step of out your shell a little. Trust me lol.