Straight "acting"..

It's just the stereotype, which in my case I do everything to avoid, that people have. For finding people it's probably irritating but it's you; who cares otherwise.

 

Straight acting just seems like another branch of conformist/people pleaser...

 

well, i thought i was the only one, but believe me, if i don't tell you that im gay you wouldn't even think that about it! and i don't even try to act straight, is just something that comes naturally! so i do get how you feel!

 

I dont like when people say 'straight-acting' because I'm not straight! Yes, I act very masculine and by stereotype nobody would think I'm gay...theres masculine gays and femme gays.

 

It's a ridiculous term. If someone is acting straight, they'd be flirting with or dating women (or men, in lesbian cases) to cover up the fact that they are gay.

I hate when people describe themselves as "straight acting" too. There is nothing wrong with being overtly feminine or stereotypically masculine, but when people have to say they're one or the other it frustrates me.

 

See, but even saying "I appear straight" is another way to say "straight-acting".

The whole thing is based on the believe that straight guys act a certain way and gay guys act another way, when in fact there are so many in-betweens that it isn't funny.

I don't have a problem with it really, but I do find that most people that use the term use it sort of like a badge of honor for some reason. Its weird to describe. And most also think they are either the only ones or rare...when in fact most gay guys are "straight" acting in some way. Else no one would be in the closet xD

At the end, be yourself, respect others and that should be more than enough

 

Whenever someone says they're "straight acting" I can't help but roll my eyes. I can't tell you how many people I've heard say that with a lisp. It's just stupid. :rolle:

 

Yes, straight acting is offensive. It's offensive because it holds up heterosexuality as an ideal that the rest of us should assimilate to. It's also internalized homophobia.

 

"Acting" in any way other than who you really are is the real problem.

And really, there is hate from both sides: masculine guys who think they are superior and hate being associated with those embarrassing femme f*****ts, feminine guys who think masculine guys are trying to hide in the closet to gain hetero acceptance...we all have to stop being so vicious toward one another. The whole LGBTQ equality movement is supposed to be about celebrating the diversity of each human being, there's not just one way to be gay.

Sometimes I feel like I'm too "straight-acting" and try to adopt more stereotypical 'gay' mannerisms and voice in the hopes that other gay/bi guys would be able to identify me...but it's just silly, really.

Just be yourself, don't worry about what others think. There will be plenty of guys out there for you who will respect who you are no matter how masculine or feminine you are.

 

Should any such term exist then? Wouldn't any term for (say) a male homosexual who doesn't exhibit much in the way of either effeminate or "typically homosexual" traits be considered offensive?

Lex

 

Thing is, it's a descriptor that so much of the gay community seems to have embraced whether they consider it something positive or negative. Just as you hate that others tack it onto you as if you were not being genuine, others use it as a badge of honor as pointed out by TheEdend.

Personally, I find the idea of being reduced to two-word descriptor very demeaning.

I don't think any such term should exist. As it is, I think the gay community is too obsessed with putting people into boxes. Why does it need a name at all?

Then there's that too.

 

The problem with the term is that it rejects an identity rather than giving one. Any term that does that isn't needed in my opinion.

The bear community is a community that isn't like the "typical homosexual", yet the label gives a person an identity rather than rejecting one. That I think its helpful.

Saying one can be "straight-acting" would be like me me describing myself as "white-acting" or "black-acting" since I'm not your "typical hispanic"

 

The way I see it, "straight acting" is a term defined in opposition, as in, "I'm straight acting, unlike those lesser femme gays over there." What they are really talking about is a gender presentation, but the term conflates it with a sexual orientation. The term they are looking for is masculine.

 

How is it offensive? If you act in a manner typically assigned to heterosexual males, you are acting straight. It does not imply you are acting like on a stage. Acting in this case means the way you act, or your demeanor.

I don't see how it's assimilation. If you act in a manner considered straight, that's simply a demeanor. I don't see how it's deferential.

 

I'm going to jump in here and say that Gus nailed it when he said that it isn't accepting an identity, it's rejecting one. The term "straight-acting" is an extremely nebulous description of a personality. What exactly does that even mean? You like NASCAR? You're a jock? A geek? You like to sip tea on Sundays? The sub-text is: "I'm not a flamer." Or, you could more accurately translate that as, "I'm not one of them." And the reputation that flamers and effeminate gays have in the LGBT community is pretty well documented for anyone's reading pleasure. If anyone's bored and feels like doing some research, go to any LGBT dating website, and start keeping track of how many profiles ask for "straight-acting only." The implied definition of it is bad enough, the context it gets used in is even worse.

So, yeah, I think it's pretty offensive too honestly, but like I said earlier, mostly just stupid. The word they should be using is "masculine" but there's some kind of fetish in the LGBT community, it's the idea that a straight boy is somehow better than a gay one. Gay porn has been marketing it for years and years and years. "Straight-acting" or not, you take a dick up your ass and in your mouth. You're no more or less gayer than anyone else in this community. It's a chintzy imitation of a supposed ideal.

 

Its kinda like you're saying you're "less gay" than someone who "acts" gay... so it's supposed to somehow be better to straight people or they're more comfortable with it I guess...

I'm not a tom boy OR a girly girl... I just.... am lol but by someone's standards I might be "straight acting..." but I'm not acting I'm just comfotable being a woman... but that doesn't mean I'm not into ladies...