Right So this post isn't me whining. I just wanna get something straight (no pun intended) and well it's been bugging me for a bit recently. Right so I'm perfectly content with my life at the moment, new job and starting to earn a bit money to save up for my own car, working on my confidence issues, you know everything is getting better with time. My only issue is. Is it possible to meet a guy/boyfriend without being involved in any gay activity such as pride, etc etc. Don't get me wrong, I proud to be gay as it's who I am but the whole pride march just isn't for me. I'm sure am not the only one that feels that way... or am I???? Basically I know its easier for straight people since there's not the "is he gay or not" thing. So is it possible to meet a guy that way without being involved in any gay activities. The opnly group I can find is like a 1hr 30min / 2hr train ride away and I don;t think that would be good for me. The only thing in my place is pride and I just can't stand it, sorry guys and gals who enjoy it but I just don't like it. So Can any of you answer my question... maybe give an example
Well, you answered your own question. The only thing stopping you from meeting people like straight people do is the "is he gay or not" thing. The thing is, most people go to "gay" events because it alleviates the worry around that question: you can ask there and even if the person ends up being straight, you can be confident they aren't going to bash your skull in or something. So is it possible to do so? Sure, but it's probably much easier said than done, especially if you happen to be looking for a less-stereotypical guy, because he might not ping your gaydar very much. As some food for thought, maybe you can be the guy who goes to pride (or some other event that isn't necessarily your thing) to try it out and end up meeting another guy who's in the same boat.
I don't think I'd go to pride No offence to those who go and enjoy it and that ---------- Post added 19th Oct 2012 at 07:36 AM ---------- Its that whole flamboyent side that just makes me feel uncomfortable besides other things I know not everyone is like that but still... Pride isn't for me
Well, how do you feel about joining a gay social/support group for example? Is that a possibility? Yeah, not everyone is into pride, and marching along, or standing on the sidelines, which is perfectly fine. But if you would like to find a boyfriend, being part of an activity, other than pride itself, can help with that search.
The only social/gay group I can find is like 1hr train ride away which is too much for me. There's none in my area
UK, Sunderland I've been in contact with a group but even they say they the most local one which is like a 1hr / 1hr 30min train ride away. A bit too much and far for me
It's too bad that everything seems to be so far from you. Could you not call a support organization or contact them via e-mail and ask if they would know or have information on whether there is something closer to your area?
Personally, I would take the 1,5 hour trip as I am in a similar situation. One wouldn't have to go daily, just every now and again. Or is it a financial problem as well? But Mirko has a point, you could try calling or mailing them to get more information about groups in your area that may be hard to find.
Why not? I used to think like you, but my mind has started to change recently. Why? I suspect that as I become more comfortable with myself, I become more comfortable about the idea of stereotypical gays. When/if I go to my first one (I might just stay closeted my whole life since it's easier and I don't think I would mind as much as everyone else seems to; I'm fine with having secrets about myself), I'm definitely going to dress "straightly"; that is, in jeans and a t-shirt, and just be there. It's not like it has to be some crazy and wacky occurrence, you can just go and "hang out" if you want.
Well, in that case, there are a few ways. The easiest is to make sure that you are known to be gay and hope that other gay men will ask you out. You could also seek other men who are known to be gay. Or you could go to a small group. But I will warn you because you seem to be afraid of the gay pride scene. Small groups just might be "gayer." If you're scared of the crowds, you should be OK, but I've seen my school's GSA club and they have some very "gay" stuff going on there as well.
That bothers me too. But it seems like the only way to meet someone. It also reminds me of the do you have to live in a city if you're gay because I have no plans on moving to a city anytime soon
