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Do I really need a social life?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Gazza123, Oct 23, 2012.

  1. Gazza123

    Gazza123 Guest

    Do I really need one? Is it like a must have accessory because to be honest I can't be bothereds with it. I can get "hello" or "alright" but other than that I can't be bothered to socialisea. I don't have skills to socialise, I don't want to and I really have nothing to say to co-workers.

    I'm just worried that it might cost me my job if I don't get along with the staff. I'm not horrible to them, I just don't socialise with them much. Like after work they would all go to the cafe and I just go home. I've tried going to the cafe but I rather be heading home. I don't talk to anyone when am there and am basically just a listener.

    If I don't need one then I why bother trying. Yeah I'll have no friends or boyfriends probably but its not like I had any in the first place.

    I prefer to be alone and just being me. My parents are constantly at me to talk to people and make friends but I don't want to. Its too much work and I DON'T WANT TO
     
  2. Alexander69

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    Is there a reason you don't want to socialize? If someone isn't talk to me I'd be like wtf is your problem you think your better then me? But that my thinking. In a very sociable person though most of the time
     
  3. Gazza123

    Gazza123 Guest

    I just don't feel the need to so I don't
     
  4. Alexander69

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    How do you plan on making friends? What type of business are you in
     
  5. DryOasis

    DryOasis Guest

    I'm somewhat similar. I'm not very anti-social but sometimes I don't see the point in socialising if I don't want to. And you know what? That's fine. People are different. If you feel a bit lonely then yes, I would suggest you try and socialise more but if you're truly happy with yourself then carry on as you usually do.
     
  6. Gazza123

    Gazza123 Guest

    I just have a part time job in supermarket ( Sainsburys ). I've just never had friends through college, Uni and my previous job so I just feel the need to make any. I dnt have anything to say to them

    I can't be bothered to socialise.
     
  7. Alexander69

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    awe just be like hey I've never talked to you before what's your name? Make a joke or 2 then get in to it
     
  8. DryOasis

    DryOasis Guest

    Is there maybe a reason you avoid socialising? And have you ever tried socialising with people you have something in common with? That may work.
     
  9. TraceElement

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    I don't want to sound funny, but aren't you kind of socializing here?
     
  10. Gazza123

    Gazza123 Guest

    Easy said than done

    ---------- Post added 23rd Oct 2012 at 11:36 AM ----------

    I just don't want to
     
  11. Alexander69

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    So are you like shy?
     
  12. sunnii

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    can i ask if youve ever had a social life? I've only recently had one. I used to be like you I just didnt want to socialise i was kind of socialphobic. It got worse when I actually started to socialise with friends at school they were past the hanging out at the shopping centre phase and wanted to get rat-arsed which i didnt.

    When I went to college 1st year I made a group of friends but I didnt properly start going out with them till 2nd year but I hardly see them now (combonation of distance, commitments and them making me have a shit time the past 2 nights out).

    The group of friends I have at work (started a year ago) is the closest to real friends ive had in over 10 years and I love socialising with them. I was lucky to fit in with an already tight group like them. Maybe the people you work with just dont click with you.

    I'm not going to lie alcohol was a help to make me more sociable but it wasnt the only reason. (when i met up with school friends over a month ago they were just as nauseating despite me being drunk).


    Point is, I USED to be a hermit and I'm nowhere near out every week but I do get bored if im stuck in the house even though that used to be like my fav thing ever. Maybe you'll stay like that and that's cool but maybe you'll change you're mind later on in different circumstances with different people
     
  13. Gazza123

    Gazza123 Guest

    yep
     
  14. Lexington

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    There are many jobs that don't require you to be social at all - backroom jobs, if you will. So No, you don't need a social life. That said, being able to be social at certain points can prove beneficial at various points in your life, so it might be a skill worth working on. No, that doesn't mean you should go out with your co-workers if you don't want to. But it would be good if you could work on making it clear that you're not avoiding their company because you don't like them.

    Lex
     
  15. Gazza123

    Gazza123 Guest

    Kinda hard to do without sounding like a complete twat

    I didn't used to sit with them in the cafe cause I just didn't want to and I felt awkward doing it and I just prefer to sit on my own and get on with my own thing. Then one of them came over and sat with me and I was like "You don't have to sit with me, I'm fine" but people seems to thinks its best I sit with them. I don't want to and I;m guessing people will eventually get the idea and just strop bothering with me.

    Its kinda love/hate... I love just getting on with my own thing and just going to work, doing what I need to and coming home. I prefer it but people keep telling me that you'll never get anywhere in life without socializing.

    But I don't want to
     
  16. Lexington

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    When someone sits with you, give them a quick smile and say "hi". Then get back to whatever you were doing (staring at your phone or whatever). Then feel free to look back up and add "I'm afraid I'm not really social at all - I hope you won't take that personally."
    If they try to engage you in small talk, keep it short and repeat the bit about you not being social. They should get it.

    Lex
     
  17. Gazza123

    Gazza123 Guest

    Tried that

    Aparently saying "I'm not good at being social" only prompts them to want to involve you in social situations. Basically it has the opposite affect
     
  18. Aielar

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    Then keep saying it - eventually they'll understand :slight_smile:
     
  19. gordilocks

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    nah, if you dont want a social life, dont bother w/ it
     
  20. jaysuss

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    I think it is really important to develop social skills and relationships with people. It opens many doors and opportunities. It may be hard and something you don't like doing with certain people or at all but playing the act is good for yourself. I do it everyday and people think i like them. Some i do some i don't bit in the end i have so many opportunities i can take it's worth it.