finding who supports or denies

I think the best way to find out if someone supports the gay community, aside from asking, is to see how they react to openly gay people around them. Or maybe bring up something you read about a gay rights political issue and ask what their take is on it.

 

Overall homophobic people are easy to spot. (I'm radar for homophobes is A LOT better than my gaydar.)
Usually (but not always) are highly conservative, highly religious people... Most times homophobia comes along with sexism, racism, ____ism (insert discrimination type in the blank space). They have strong ideas about gender roles and the "proper" way a guy should behave vs. a girl...
Guys tend to be more homophobic towards gay guys and girls towards lesbians. (It's the whole: "Oooh. I don't want X seeing me THAT way".)
Stuff like that says it all.

In any case, you could always make comments like "A lot of LGBT people really like Obama because of his LGBT policies, what do you think???". If they're cool about it (even when they don't agree with the policies), chances are they're not homophobes.
You can always make side comments like: "One of my friends came out. I think it's cool for me. It seemed to be a really big deal for him"... if they're like: *shrug* "I don't care" or "That's good for him!!", chances are they're cool about it.
If they're like: Ugh... "THOSE people"; well... you know what it means.
Or be like: "Geezus! That Brittana couple in Glee is so hot, isn't it??". The thing about this one is that lesbians are more accepted than gay guys. Or ask people what they think about Chaz Bono and/or Isis King's performances... if they're homophobes, they WILL attack the person despite the fact you didn't ask anything about them being Transgender.

That said most straight people I know are a bit homophobic because they're ignorant. They don't quite understand how this thing works...
Two of my closest friends from high school, who I knew I had to come out to, weeks before I came out to them were like: "I love gay guys... but I lesbians, I don't know. I feel very unconfortable with them. I'd rather not have them near me"... which is a little homophobic if you think about it. I didn't think much of it because it wasn't violent rejection and I knew that they wouldn't be "Effing faggot, don't touch me!!"... nonetheless I thought they'd be weird about it.
But when I actually told them that I was gayer than a handbag full of rainbows, they were really cool about it. They asked a lot of questions out of curiosity, but I NEVER felt rejected or judged by them.
Sure, I have to keep on educating them (that never stops)... and I'm sure they still have their prejudices (e.g. I KNOW that neither one of them would date a bisexual man... or that they don't agree with LGBT adopting children and the sort); but by no means it gets on the way of the friendship.

Obviously, not everyone will be "OMG!! I'll go to Pride with you. We have to do each other's hairs" (you know, starving to have you as a gay friend. As yes, that happens); but people who's known you for a while and that are your friends will be nothing but that: friends.

You can always test them one last time. I asked my friends (to see if they were really cool about it), if they'd go with me to a gay bar. They were like: "Of course!!" (well, only one of them). I also asked to go to Pride with me, but they didn't agree to that... I think it's too early for me to ask them that. It hadn't sunk at the moment, I guess. I'm going to try next year, though.
Some people don't want to be associated because it can bring trouble your way

---------- Post added 24th Oct 2012 at 08:19 PM ----------

How old are you, BTW??
How conservative is where you live??
Are there other openly gay people in your circle???
There's no need to reach your boiling point. Some people are very accepting.
It takes someone EXTREMELY rude to be all "Die in hell, faggot" on you.

I met in pride an old man who has very conservative, HIGHLY religious, somewhat racist and definitely sexist (being a white guy, he's always had the upper hand... so things have being easier for him he's entire life, and so I doubt he fully understand to be in the crappy side of a discriminatory comemnt/behavious). He started the conversation raising his eyebrow and going "Huh?? I thought this parade was for the city and not for the homosexuals" (in a judgemental tone)... I was like: "Nope. June is Pride month".
Then he asked, if I agreed with "that" and I was like "I'm one of them", while showing him my rainbow bracelet. So he started to ask me a lot of questions. A LOT.
He was never rude... and overall a gentleman, but I know he thought "that's not right" and was judging me. At the end of the three hour conversation I KNOW he thought of me:
1) She's confused. She's just going through a weird phase, so she really is not a lesbian; OR,
2) She might be gay; but she's not like the rest of the lesbians who want to be men (because you know, ALL lesbians want to become men... *rolls eyes*). So basically, that I'm the exception of the rule because I'm not flamboyant nor "IN YO FACE!" about it nor a butch (tomboy-ish, yes; but not a butch).

*shrugs*

 

Politics and religion. Two subjects that are touchy with some, but at age 14, I don't think you'd get much information from someone trying to talk about either.