1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Introverted vs. Extroverted

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by NickD, Oct 29, 2012.

  1. NickD

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2012
    Messages:
    208
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    I have always struggled with social situations. I never liked idle chit chat and prefer deeper conversation. I always have to think about my responses to questions and have been chastised for not speaking my mind earlier as it would have been valuable input at the time. I am comfortable with myself to the point that I feel most relaxed when I'm alone.

    I'm posting this because I always used to think there was something wrong with me, that I didn't have the social skills to cope in society. But I can communicate just fine, I just prefer to observe and ruminate over talking about whatever comes to my mind as it comes to my mind. But I now know that there is nothing pathologically wrong with me, but rather just a different temperament than the majority.

    I've been reading The Introvert Advantage: Making the Most of Your Inner Strengths by Marti Olsen Laney and it lays out that being introverted isn't a mental or emotional condition, but just a different type of human temperament.

    I guess I'm posting because I think a lot of people here probably think there is something wrong with them when really they just have an introverted temperament. SO, to make a long drawn out post short...

    Are you introverted or extroverted?
     
  2. Greendalehumans

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2012
    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland
    Completely and utterly introverted :/
     
  3. Pain

    Pain Guest

  4. musikk021

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2012
    Messages:
    539
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm completely introverted and shy, and I have social anxiety as well, which just perpetuates my introversion.

    I suggest you check out this video below. It's very interesting, and you'll hear how good it is to be who we are as introverts.

    The Power of Introverts
     
  5. Mlpguy88

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2011
    Messages:
    915
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Michigan
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Defiantly introverted, although the people I do warm up to cause me to talk alot more
     
  6. Ticklish Fish

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2012
    Messages:
    3,372
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Internet; H-town
    introvert

    the youtube comments are interesting. Why do we make things in the world binary, black and white? lol

    (though on the other hand, some classification/label is helpful, like to distinguish a bacteria from a virus)

    and LOL on her point about school designed for extrovert.. heh.
     
    #6 Ticklish Fish, Oct 29, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2012
  7. Vesper

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2011
    Messages:
    1,393
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wisconsin, The Land of Cheese and Beer
    Definitely introverted (though selectively, like QueVidaLaMia). I've had lots of difficulty making friends, and admittedly, I'm not the greatest friend ever because I don't like calling people on the phone or taking the initiative to invite them out. I kind of lack self-confidence and am self-deprecating to the extent that my friends have jokingly threatened violence if I kept putting myself down.

    On a more positive note, I've been told that I'm a very good listener. I wonder if this is a common quality of introverts...
     
    #7 Vesper, Oct 29, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2012
  8. FollowtheFreeman

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2012
    Messages:
    244
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Milwaukee, WI
    I'm a weird, twisted, messed-up, mix of the two. Although I am more introverted than extroverted, I am still very outgoing and I love being around people.
     
  9. Lance

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2012
    Messages:
    506
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Michigan, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm most definitely introverted, but I'm getting a bit better about it as the years go on. And coming out has also helped a lot in being a bit more bold and "out there." But yeah, people tell me all the time I'm too quiet, but I just enjoy listening and usually in order for me to say something I need a bit of purpose. I can't just randomly talk about crap.
     
  10. Tetraquark

    Tetraquark Guest

    Another introvert reporting in. I may have anxiety, but surprisingly little of it is directed at day-to-day social interactions. I've always identified as an introvert, so unless I particularly care about the outcome of a given interaction, I don't experience much anxiety or shyness. I just never have any idea what to say to start the conversation. No, I don't want to talk about the weather or what either of us had for breakfast.

    I imagine that introverts make decent listeners because we don't feel the need to interrupt the other person and talk for ourselves quite as much as extroverts. However, I don't have any data to support that.

    It also seems like a lot of introverts loathe talking on the phone, myself included. This has caused problems with my family, especially my mom, because she's the sort who likes to call me "just to say hi." Whenever I try to tell her that I just hate talking on the phone, she takes it as a personal insult.
     
  11. Ticklish Fish

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2012
    Messages:
    3,372
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Internet; H-town
    but if you give introvert a topic that he is deep in or highly opinionated/ knowledge in, the introvert will talk a lot :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  12. Vesper

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2011
    Messages:
    1,393
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wisconsin, The Land of Cheese and Beer
    Funny thing is, when I'm with people to whom I'm close, I find myself interrupting them in conversations when I really want to say something before I forget what it is, and then catching myself because I don't want to come off as rude. :lol:
    My mom's the same way, though she's backed off lately and usually calls only when she needs to speak to me about something really important. I don't doubt that she's disappointed that I don't call her more often, though, and she still complains sometimes about my dislike of making phone calls.

    My problem is mostly insecurity. I've been told that I can actually be a very good speaker, but I am absolutely not a good off-the-cuff speaker. I've sometimes written "scripts" for phone calls that I knew I would have to make in the future.
     
  13. RueBea85

    RueBea85 Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2012
    Messages:
    638
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    I'm Canadian eh?
    I agree with a lot fo what others have said before me!

    I can be shy sometimes, it really just depends on who I'm around or who I'm talking to. There's sometimes where I just don't feel a need to talk or don't really have anything to say, but others see this as shyness or me not wanting to talk to them.

    Usually I just don't have anything to say, I do suffer from some anxiety though I do try every day to stop caring bout what others think, I just be myself and put myself out there more. It's a lot more freeing than what other people think.

    I remember watching this routine Ellen Degeneres did called Here and Now and she talked about how amazing it is how much time we spend on thinking about what we think others think about us, when they're doing the exact same thing! So that has helped put some things into perspective for me as well!
     
  14. WillowMaiden

    WillowMaiden Guest

    Completely introverted. I enjoy it most of the time.

    I even wrote this drabble called Heaven & Hell: An Introvert's Tale

    Extrovert heaven is introvert hell.
    What the introverts know they can never tell because their mouths are always sewn shut by the extroverts smell.The stench of their noise, their arrogance, it quells. A head so stuffed with judgement, it swells. They say we are sick, "come with us" they impel. Introverts fall not for their spell, instead they rebel and let know "we are well." But the extroverts shout, their yells used to compel like a lion's roar to a gazelle. Yet introverts doubt, their silent smarts used to repel. In extrovert heaven, a bell rings, death knell. In this world our words over theirs are not heard as well. So the introvert whispers words of farewell..."dear extrovert, your heaven is my hell."

    ............

    Translation- "Leave me the fuck alone! Stop trying to make me do shit!..Damn!" :lol:

    I'm not much of a poet, but I love to drabble when a story is too much and a haiku just won't do. :thumbsup: The fun part was making it rhyme as much as possible. Hope some intros who despise extros at times (which let's be honest, some times they take us there) got a kick out it. :slight_smile:
     
  15. I think on any forum, you're going to find more people who are introverted than extroverted. That's usually why they're online, and not out doing something else. :wink: Anyway, I guess I would consider myself somewhere in between. I was diagnosed with social anxiety 4 years ago, but I feel like I was meant to be extroverted, or at least somewhat. One of my online friends has even commented how she finds it funny that, during our conversations or my discussions with others on the internet, I never shut up. She says that it's hard to imagine that I can barely talk to people in real life.
     
  16. Linthras

    Linthras Guest

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2012
    Messages:
    2,140
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Leeuwarden (FR), the Netherlands
    I always explain it like this: When in a group; I'm more of a listener. I like listening to other people tell about their lives and see them enjoying themselves.
    I'm not one to be the first to suggest what we as a group should do.
    One on one though I do like to talk. I even used to have a terrible habbit of interrupting people because I needed to say something.
    Still I more introverted as I only talk freely to people I know. With strangers or longlost classmates I'm still rather shy/silent.

    *Edit, I'm also a person who likes being on their own sometimes. Most friends I can hang out with for a whole day. But there only a few that I can hang out with for more than 2 days, before I'd want some time for myself.
     
  17. justinf

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2012
    Messages:
    1,212
    Likes Received:
    42
    Location:
    Amsterdam
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm more extroverted, but I mostly get along better with introverted people. Nothing wrong with being introverted.
     
  18. Redell

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2012
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Perth, Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm going to say this heaps because I feel it really helped me to understand myself but have you heard of dares High Sensitivity ? Google it! It's a trait linked correlated with introversion.

    Basically some research suggests that Highly Sensitive people have nervous systems that pick up more information from people and from the environment which means they require more time to process it. This means they seek more time to themselves to process data, and large social situations can provide overwhelming amounts of information for Highly Sensitive People and are therefore largely avoided.

    It's super interesting! I really recommended reading up on it. Made me feel a lot less weird.

    I'm a HS extrovert though, but I still need 'introvert' time to process stuff.
     
  19. Hard Candy

    Hard Candy Guest

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2012
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Makati, Philippines
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    According to our psychologist, I am in between. I have both the strengths and weaknesses from being an introvert and an extrovert. And I get along well with both kinds too.

    There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, it has its own advantages and it is just as normal as being an extrovert. Introvert people know themselves more, and they see the world in a different way since they "clear out distractions." They talk less, but it's because they do not want to say something that doesn't really matter. When thy do however, it has a lot of sense. Although, time has shown that introvert people have a harder time getting ahead in life, especially in career, where taking the stage and drawing attention to yourself matters a lot. Take Walt Disney's best friend for example...
     
  20. GlindaRose

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2008
    Messages:
    1,230
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I consider myself an introvert. That said, I want to draw attention to what I believe is the difference between introversion and shyness.

    I am not the biggest speaker in a social situation. I'm often a bit of a wallflower, not as much as I used to be, but I'm not generally the centre of attention when there are a lot of people around. I like my alone time, when I can get away from other people and have some privacy. I prefer to work independently rather than in groups (though this differs when I'm performing in ensembles - I work really well in those).

    However, I am a confident person and when I have an opinion about something I do voice it. I am secure enough to know that not being the centre of attention is not the same thing as being disliked by other people. I am a natural follower, but have found that I am capable of leading when I put my mind to it. I might not be the most vocal leader but I get the job done when it's required of me.

    Speaking of being vocal, I actually do have the capability to be quite loud sometimes. It usually happens when I start speaking passionately about something, and people will actually tell me I'm talking too loudly.

    Finally, I consider myself a very deep thinker. I like subjects like philosophy which require depth of thought. I think about my personality and how I relate to other people. I analyse, even over analyse, situations that I've been in and their consequences - why things worked out the way they did, what I did wrong, what I could have done better, etc.
     
    #20 GlindaRose, Oct 30, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2012