When people think you're gay.

I think it has a lot to do with how comfortable you are with yourself. Usually most people will be very nervous about other people being able to tell them apart and usually most people will have some internalized homophobia that also makes them dislike any other gay guy who is "too gay" for them.

I personally went through both phases. I remember when I first came out, my boyfriend who had been out for years now told me "You are cute. Years from now you won't care if they can tell or not" which sounded absurd to me at the time, but he was right.

The more you are able to fully accept yourself and the more you come out the less you will worry about whether or not someone can tell or not.

 

I think you feel uncomfortable about it because you are not fully out yet so having people say that you sound 'gay' is frightening? When I was at uni, one of my guy friends thought I was gay because I didn't talk about girls all the time, but even if I was straight I wouldn't be talking about girls in that way either. I'm more reserved but it did make me uncomfortable because I was self-loathing and wasn't out to anyone at that time.

 

i think people make us feel bad and force us to close to ourselves ...people that cant respect and understand cause are not mature enough for this , homophobia is the master of this action! well i just hope everyone will make what he wants in his life but without hurting other good people !!!

 

I feel the same way. It will pass.

 

What TheEdend said is very true. What it really comes down to is being comfortable in your own skin. Before I completely accepted myself and came out, I always felt that I had a bit of a gay voice and people could tell that I was gay because of that. No one ever mentioned anything about it, but I still felt that way. But now that I'm completely comfortable with myself, I could care less who thinks I'm gay, in fact I hope they do since that's less work for me. And plus when it comes down to it, what they are thinking is true anyway.

 

Ugh this annoys the crap out of me. The SAME girl every time she's with her friend and I walk past her she says, 'He's gay' and I just wanna turn around and say...what on earth has that got to do with you? Yeah, I am gay!

I just can't be bothered with the hassle of arguing. But I get how you feel.

 

I can completely relate to this! When I was at university I remember someone saying "I've heard a rumour you're gay" and it really annoyed me. I wasn't out to anyone and he probably meant it as a joke but it made me feel really uncomfortable and insecure. The cliched saying "the truth hurts" is probably very apt with this one. We get annoyed because we feel insecure and when people make gay comments we get really defensive. I still feel really uncomfortable if there's gay people on TV when in with friends or family and any discussions about homosexuality in general make me feel really awkward.

 

when I was 16 I wore man's clothes? so one day my aunt told me: Yuliya, you look like lesbian! I froze!))) the truth was that I wanted to look like lesbian and I was afraid about it!!! Noe I look like others, I'm not afraid what people will think about me and I like that nobody's suprised when discover my orientation! it has become naturally for me)))

 

I had been called gay for so long. It really pissed me off. I had been called it since I was 7 so when I found out I was gay at 15 it made it worse because those that slagged me off were right (obviously not right to make fun of me)

Its confusing for me when in wanting to cone out because I feel like they have an idea anyway so I don't really want to be like making it overdranatic for no reason

 

I don't believe I have a gay accent, but the vocabulary I use is sometimes a little flamboyant.

Yeah I get this all the time too. There are people who are shocked to hear I'm gay, but there are those who aren't very surprised. I guess some people just have better gaydar than others. I only feel nervous if it's uncomfortable I've known for a long time.

 

My friend at college told me he was gay the other day (something I didn't in the slightest suspect) then he was like you are too right? I could tell that the minute I saw you in class.
Yeah I didn't tell him anything about the gender until a few days later, but then he was like og I just thought you were hardcode lesbian but yeah okay
I then went to meet another friend for diner and her mate(a gay guy btw) asked me for my phone number and said he could tell I was into guys straight away. I kinda then had to explain to him it was all pretty embarrasing.
So yeah people eaither think I'm a gay female, or a camp gay guy as soon as they see me

 

it frequently happened to me but not the way i was talking
they think i am guy because my dress
sucks

 

I didn't realize I had the gay lisp until I heard myself on video. I was like "Woah. I sound really... flamboyant."

But yeah, ever since the beginning of highschool people have assumed I was gay. Ergh.

 

My father got into a habit of asking me if I was gay every few months. He gave me "The talk" around 13/14 inside a blockbuster video. "Do you know what condoms are?" "Yes." "Good. Use them." Pretty soon my Dad realised I had never had a girlfriend, nor expressed any interest in one. I was extremely shy, and the thought of talking about my love interests with my parents was very daunting. He eventually saw me heartbroken over a girl, but as soon as that was over he resumed with the questioning. That bothered me, but I could understand his curiosity as a father, so I have mixed feelings about it.

Edit: I should also add that he noticed my unexplained depression and heartbreak over the first guy I fell in love with, plus the hard time I had over my ex-boyfriend, and what he and my mom (though divorced) discussed around this period I have no idea, neither of them had any idea of the truth, just whatever they made of it. He died before I could make sense of myself, and that doesn't mean I understand myself now, just that I never had a chance to really tell my father these things.

The only other time I can think of someone actually posing the question, as opposed to joking, was my friend that I've mentioned in another thread as being a big hang-up to coming out. We were hanging out in my house one evening watching TV when he looked over and just asked, "Alan, are you gay?", it really caught me off guard and I did my best to look at him, chuckle, and reply "No." (which is, semantically, correct) before we went back to the TV. A few seconds later I looked back, and asked: "Did I just do something terribly effeminate?" to which he responded with "No, just wondering."

These people were and are obviously close to me so I can excuse the curiosity, but I can't help wondering what the hell difference it makes. At the same time, if this friend had real suspicions, he clearly doesn't seem to care if I am, in fact, hiding something.

 

U shouldn't feel awkward, it's who your are, people can't help how feminine they are, it's who they are, it comes naturally, runs through their veins, so I don't think u should say u don't like them, they r just like all of us, gay. LGBT community isnt a place of judgement but a place to be yourself without being judged.

 

I WISH people thought I was gay, I'd probably get more action. (!)

 

Coming out people have told me that they suspected I may be gay, but weren't totally sure of it. When I came out for the first time it made me very uncomfortable, but now it doesn't really bother me.