The power of beauty

I am kind of in your position. I didn't realize how much attention gay people give to new faces who are somewhat attractive (I feel its different in the straight world, because there are more guys to choose from, but this is only based on my limited experience and area). Wasn't really prepared for it. I have to say that I like the attention, but I also feel that it puts pressure on me, which is annoying. I am kind of quiet and pretty introverted, so I don't always know how to handle the random strangers that want to talk just because you caught their eye lookswise.

 

I agree, but not at all. I mean, It's a (sad) fact of life that every person (even those who will try to deny it) will treat other people based upon its looks.

But, it doesn't necesarily mean that "if you are handsome, you will be treated better" it's the only consecuence. For example, on high school nobody messed with me (even the bullies) because I was respected, and I did nothing to gain that respect except for looking like a respectable guy.

 

Beauty privilege is definitely a real thing which affects how people will treat you.

However, I think we sometimes give too much weight to this as opposed to the subject's extent of awesomeness, which also affects the amount of attention they receive. I've seen many people who don't fit into the normative standard of beauty display some aspect of their awesomeness in a public space and thereby receive lots more attention (and attention in turn usually brings more attention).

Even in my own anecdotal experience, there have been people that I never would've given a second thought to until I heard them sing/speak a different language/expound upon something I find interesting/whatever, and suddenly I felt a surging desire of "MUST BEFRIEND NOW" and/or "WANT TO JUMP THEIR BONES NOW!"

 

I think on average, good looking people have more confidence and charisma than everyone else. Would those same people have those same qualities if not for their good looks? I suspect that over time, as other people directly or indirectly tell them that they are attractive, they gain confidence and realize they can pick and choose who they want as friends. They tend to have friends of similar attractiveness. Some people turn into jerks because of the attention they get, some don't. Of all the loners and socially awkward and shy people in the world, what percentage of them are really good looking? I think it would be very low. I don't think attractive people are better than the rest of us, of course. Did they become more confident and popular because of their looks and how others treat them or does their natural confidence make them appear more attractive and draw others to them?

 

I agree with Mnguy. I hate it when people assume that many of those who are deemed attracted are horrible people, or have issues, or are shallow. Comically, the people that believe this are usually the ones that make sure to tell the world that they only judge on personality, not appearance. :rolle:.

I have essentially played both sides of the field. I was never ugly, but I wasnt really attractive when I was younger. More of normal. My own inner struggles wreaked havoc on my self-esteem. Long story short, it took years to get over my personal issues. But during the beginning of highschool things started to change in my appearance, as do most people in their growing proccess. Every year it seemed that I grew a little bit more appealing in my own eyes, and apparantly not only mine, because my admirers seem to grow with it.

After about the middle of highschool and the end of many struggles that I would bore you with, a new surge of confidence and self-worth emerged in my orientation, appearance, personality, social life. As far as the appearance piece of it, I would be lying to myself if my new love for my appearance didnt have an effect on anything. But at the heart of it, it wasnt because of what anyone else thought. It wasnt because I looked more like this model or that star. It was because I came to a point in my life where I was genuinely content with who I was.

I'm not trying to make it seem like things are equal. We can say that the only reason there is this idea of some people being more attractive than others, is a result of modern media, but lets be honest. There are people who are geniunely found more attractive by most people. You can look down to ancient societies and see that their is always a baised. Not always the same ideal, but there is always one there. While there may not be people prettier than others on the inside, there will be people prettier than others on the outside. Not definitively, not to everyone, but in many cases. Sure it feels good to be complimented and sought after, but in reality, everyone wakes up in the morning and feels like shit to some extent.

We can place comparisons on intelligence, we can place comparisons on talent, on personality, on kindness, but do it on appearance and that makes one shallow... We need to stop blaming the world on our self-esteem. Sure its not fair, but life isnt fair, and honestly it shouldnt be. If we were all 'fair', it would make us equals. Our difference make us original, make us amazing. You will never get anywhere wallowing in your weakness. Appearance is a sector of beauty, but so is kindness, talent, compasion and everything else that makes up a person. Learn to love what you have.

 

everyone gets either worse or better looking as they get older. This is actually true, its in ur genes to either grow into ur features or ur features grow more ie, ur nose etc.
ALOT and i mean alot! of people r good looking then they r not attractive as they get older but for some they r average at school then hot as they get older. Its just if ur parents r attractive etc. if ur parents arent attractive bottom line u wont be (Not saying urs arent, idk u )

 

I like to believe that beauty exists in every single one of us in it's own unique form. I'm sure everyone here is in agreement that there is so much more to a person than whether or not you see him/her as physically attractive. And I've seen posts from an overwhelming majority of members here expressing that a sweet, down to earth personality is what attracts them most of all. Of course I also agree someone like that is worth more than a total asshole who just so happens to have been born with gorgeous facial features or whatever any day. And it's unfortunate that in today's society the most pure and truely beautiful aspects of people can be so easily overlooked and go unrecognised. I try my best to appreciate beauty no matter how many different kinds of shapes or sizes or colors or ideas or other ways it finds to present itself to me in. And I'd say for me that's true as far as people's physical appearance goes as well. I see no need for Beauty to have one solid definition which constricts it into nothing more than what it appears to be on the surface.

 

I have good days and bad days. When everything lines up and mixes together right I'd consider myself to be a fairly attractive person. But like I said, it totally depends.

 

I was the ugly one all through school. Copped a fair bit of bullying for it, and am still not confident enough to put myself out there. My most striking experience was when I got rejected by someone I loved very much, in favour of someone who had cheated on her, lied to her, and treated her terribly, but was very good-looking.

 

I feel kind of bad that I'm saying this, but I actually distrust attractive people now. Because of all the stuff they've put me through. I realize it's irrational, but I feel like the Ugly Duckling--I get fewer amigos for being ugly. But unlike him, I don't get to be a swan when I'm older, just an older ugly person.

 

I've been bullied all of my life at school for wearing glasses and having frizzy hair and a big-ish build, and yes it has seriously affected my confidence. But since the age of about 12, most people seem to find me really attractive and I've been asked out a lot. But I had Body Dysmorphic Disorder, so I naturally hate the way I look to an extreme level - even though most people today think I'm sexy or whatever.

 

I consider myself attractive. However, I am a natural introvert, I'm never the centre of attention and prefer to have a smaller group of friends. I get called 'hot' a lot on a night out, and have had attention from people of both genders, but I've never been in a long term relationship.

 

I always thought I was average, been described as "good looking" though. What I found interesting is I viewed he gay community as very shallow and everyone had to be pretty ad shiny. But as I met people and went to bars I found that this wasn't the truth. And more so as I viewed myself as average I would get hit on a lot.

 

Attractiveness only goes so far in my experience. I dated the cheerleaders and stuff during high-school, but they were always off-put by the fact that I played things like D&D and Magic: The Gathering.

Conversely, I had, on several occasions, people that I played that stuff with ask me why I did. Attractive people never played that stuff, they said, and I should be at a party or something.

It goes both ways.

 

If I'm being honest, I'm pretty attractive and I'm pretty extroverted when I wanna be. I love being a social butterfly. I even talk to strangers despite being told "never to talk to strangers" as a kid cuz my parents always do. They're both friendly as heck to random people, so I like opening doors for people and striking up a conversation if they're comfortable with it and such. I've been hit on by both genders as well.

However I never spend much time in the morning getting ready or trying to look nice, so my nice features are usually wasted by the way I just get outta bed, throw something on and go out. :lol:

 

That's a tough one. My immediate family and I are all pretty attractive, honestly...and I remember my older sister and I talking about how much harder life would be to not be. It's very easy for us to get what we want. I tend to come across as young and cute and nonthreatening, and I can make anyone like me whether or not I like them. I'm aware that I use that, but at the same time understand that it's a sick reflection of our culture to think like that. I also know that all of us kids struggle with body image. All of us are overly conscious of weight (I think that I'd probably be considered borderline anorexic, and my older sister is underweight), and my little sister is getting her somewhat protruding ears pinned, and wants breast implants. I've considered having my nose shortened. I think it would be more fun to not worry about it...but humans are programmed towards people who are better looking. I like looking in the mirror and feeling attractive. I don't like the voice in my head that sometimes evaluates other people by their physical shape--that voice is a sick person, one that I don't want anywhere near me.

Confidence can make just about anyone look attractive, though. The person I fell hardest for, with his long nose and chin, wouldn't be considered attractive by anyone's standards, but was such an amazing, interesting, confident guy I couldn't help but be attracted, and girls would fall all over him. I'm not attracted to shy people no matter how good they look (I need a dominant partner). The only appearance thing that really matters is weight- I'm not attracted to people who are overweight. Also, I'm a very active person, and our hobbies don't usually match up.

 

lol apparently i am looking more attractive the older i'm getting. i get complements all the time. but i wouldn't call my self better looking than others. i think its just because I'm looking more mature. and im getting thin and my face is looking less and less chubby. and i dress very nicely, very clean and cut. lol

 

I think you're right. That's why people love Nicki.


And this bitch is completely irrelevant.


And of course Nicki is 10x more talented than Kim of course of course.

 

I agree with what you said. There are more important things than beauty, but it is a , hard, cold fact that is is an amazing asset. That being said, I think people should quit on acting as if being beautiful is a sin. They always come up with quotes like "Beauty is skin deep.: and such, and it is a common idea that most people assume that a pretty person probably have no brains. Physical beauty is something, though not everything. It only becomes bad when it is prioritized wrongly or used in a bad way.

Anyway, uhm, I was told that I am pretty good looking before. But for some reason, I always feel that I don't look good enough. I have always felt sort of insecure, though it does not show much because I act confident. And being surrounded by gorgeous friends makes it more complicated.