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A crush on your therapist???

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by whitwhit82, Nov 3, 2012.

  1. whitwhit82

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    I'm not one to just have a bunch of crushes. In fact, in my 30 years, I have had two, including my current crush on my therapist. From what I've read while doing a little online "research," it isn't uncommon for a client to have a crush on his or her therapist. I think it is natural to form an attachment with someone you pour your heart and soul out to. I think about her a lot and have fantasized about her on many "occasions." I don't think it interferes with therapy. I seem to be able to keep a decently level head about it. When I have thoughts about her, I just try to push it away. I mostly think about it when I'm not around her. When we are in session, I can concentrate on whatever we are talking about/working on. We have a very good client/therapist relationship and she has helped me TREMENDOUSLY in making huge, positive changes in my life.

    I guess I'm just curious how many others out there have experienced this. Surely I'm not the only one that would love to throw her therapist on the couch and experience a real break through (sorry, but I couldn't resist). :roflmao: Did it take a tole on your therapy? Were you able to keep seeing them or did you eventually have to stop therapy with that person? I'd just like some feedback from others who know how I feel!!!
     
  2. DJNay

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    This just made my day! Lol
    Seriously though, can't say I have. Like my school counsellor I loved to bits (not in a sexual way) but I looked up to him as a father figure, coz he was really awesome and fun and quirky even though he had a deputy head master position at school. I fantasized about having an affair with his wife though, which was a bit weird.
    My current psych is quirky, pretty, fun and has tattoos etc and my eyes do sway from her face downwards during our sessions :wink: but I can't say I have a crush on her.
     
  3. whitwhit82

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    Yeah, my eyes have a tendancy to wander a little during our sessions. When she wears a lower cut top than she normally does, showing a little cleavage, I can't help but stare a little. I'm sure she notices it too, because she notices EVERYTHING! lol I can't help myself. Therapist or not, she's beautiful. *sigh*
     
  4. Took My Youth

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    I fancied my previous psychiatrist/therapist quite a lot and it was quite annoying actually, because I ended up not focussing on what we were talking about and I'd lose track. Luckily I got moved onto a new one, whom I don't fancy at all :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  5. sunnii

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    Seeing the title I instantly thought of The Sopranos and Tony's attraction to Dr Melfi.

    Ya it seems pretty understandable. I don't have a therapist but I can imagine falling for someone you have intimate (is that like an appropriate word lol) and someone who is trying to help you and make you better
     
  6. whitwhit82

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    Thanks for the replies, yall!

    I'm glad it hasn't gotten too out of hand. I seem to be able to concentrate on what we are talking about. I constantly remind myself she's my therapist and there to help me. I definitely don't want to change therapist. And that isn't because of my crush on her. I would hate to change because we work very well together. It took a while for me to really open up and I totally trust her. Changing people would be starting all over, basically, and I definitely don't want to do that.
     
  7. myheartincheck

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    I'm about to go to therapy later this month and my therapist is gonna be a girl...! =o I wonder if this will happen to me!!!
     
  8. RueBea85

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    Looking back I think I did have a bit of a crush on my therapist, I had an eating disorder in high school and would go to see her once a week for around 9 months or so. And I remember our last session she just sort of sprang it on me and said that it would be out last session because she thought I was better. She asked me if I thought I needed another session and thought I would be okay too.

    I would have liked to have had another session with her, but it's just because I always suck at goodbyes. They're the worst for me.
     
  9. pancake111

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    I kind of did when I first started to see my therapist. She is pretty hot. It just starts to fade away after a while. I wouldn't worry about it or anything.

    And sometimes my eyes would just fall to her chest too sometimes when she was wearing something low cut! I tried not to do it so she wouldn't notice. That would have been awkward.
     
  10. whitwhit82

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    RueBea85, I think that would upset me, to not know it was our last session until right then. I don't do well with surprises and I like to know things ahead of time so I can sort of prepare myself. My therapist brought it up with me a while back about tapering off when I'm ready. We will go from once a week to every two weeks for a while. Then, we'll go to every three weeks for a while. She said I can come once a month for as long as I want to, just to have a sounding board. I'm thinking after Christmas I will move to every two weeks. I'm doing very well, but just want to make sure I get through the holidays ok before I cut back.

    Pancake111, how long did it take for it to fade away for you? I have to be careful about my eyes wandering. It would definitely be awkward!
     
  11. caffeinatedhope

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    YES. I am SO SO glad I'm not the only one! I have had 2 different female therapists, and both of them I have had crushes on. The one I am currently seeing is very, very attractive. I have a bachelor's degree in psychology, so thankfully I'm able to understand a bit of what's going on. There's this thing in therapy called erotic transference. I'm not saying this is exactly what's going on for you, but it is a common thing to feel "in love" with your therapist. I know that this erotic transference thing is very common in my life, because I see it happening with people I tend to connect with on a very deep, intimate emotional level. Regardless, I can't stop thinking about my current therapist. Much of my time when I'm not in sessions, I'm thinking about her. Like you, I can concentrate on what's being talked about in the session, even though sometimes I feel like I'm checking her out. I've just very very recently acknowledged to myself the fact that I have feelings for other women. I've been in denial for a really, really long time -- even to myself. I've been wanting to come out to my therapist, because I know I don't have supportive friends and family. I would lose everyone I love if they knew what I was struggling with. Because of my sexual fantasies involving my therapist, I'm really scared to come out to her and ask for help exploring my feelings towards the same sex. I'm not sure how she will react and I'm not sure if it would make my feelings towards her stronger. I mean, she's TRAINED to observe every aspect of my behavior, so I wouldn't be surprised if she already knew. I'm at such a loss, but I take comfort in knowing I'm not the only one. (*hug*)
     
  12. shorty99

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    I have only had 2 crushes on my therapists. One was a few years ago it might be because she was only 2 years older than me. But it never caused a problem with sessions. But it was hard to not have any kind of attachment to her based on issues I was going through. I have a crush on my current therapist just because I want to look like her. I an going throgh gender confusion and she is what I wish could look like. Has not been a problem yet
     
  13. lostgirl123

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    Hi, so glad that you posted this as i am going through a similar experience with my therapist at the moment. I have found myself trying to portray a different personality as if she was a peer and i'm trying to impress her... One session she was wearing a tight red dress and i couldn't speak. I've just started a psychology degree and am wondering if it has to do with idealizing her. I keep feeling that she doesn't want to talk about my confused sexuality although i wonder if that is more me having trouble talking about it because I am scared she would notice and be put off by my sexual thoughts about her.
     
  14. ahardlife

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    Kind of glad that my therapist was female it also helped that she was quite common somehow I found her easier to talk to. the one before was female again but was so far up her own arse it was unbelievable also she made far to meany assumptions.